Max Black, hopper and joke joint champion – with Ben Neal – using the classroom computer.

Here’s the lowdown on last week’s Sport Relief.  We managed three hundred and thirteen jokes between us in five minutes of constant hopping. These are the top five football jokes, voted by the gargoylz…

Q. Why are football players never invited out for dinner?
A. Because they’re always dribbling!

Q. Which football team loves ice cream?
A. Aston Vanilla!

Warning Bart special
Q. Where do spiders play their FA Cup final?
A. Webley stadium!

Q. Why should you be careful playing any game against a team of big cats?
A. They might be cheetahs!

Q. Did you hear about the football team who ate too much pudding?
A. They got jellygated! That’s Jelly’s favourite.

Ben and I have got to go and meet the gargoylz now as we’ve got a trick to plan.  Ben’s sister, Arabella has been really annoying today.  She’s a school monitor and thinks that means she can be the biggest bossyboots in the history of biggest bossyboots!

Ben’s just come up with a fantastic idea for a trick. We’ll tell you about it next week…

Categories: Gargoylz, Pranks
Tags: Ben Gargoylz jokes Max Sport Relief

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Agent Ben Neal reporting and in training.  Tonight Max and I have a very important mission.  It’s Sport Relief and we’re going to have a sponsored hop.  But it’ll be a sponsored hop with a difference.  We’re going to hop for five minutes straight and see how many jokes we can tell at the same time.  And every joke has got to be a sport joke…  We’ll let you know how we get on.

But first – Bart, who thinks he is the master of jokes, has insisted I pass on his advice about how to warm up for an event like this.

1. Eat lots of yummy cookiez to build your strength.
2. To protect your voice, don’t answer any questionz in class.  (All jokes have to be said out loud.)
3. Play some awesome trickz to get yourself in the mood.  Burping up spiderz near girlz is a good one.
4. Eat more cookiez to keep up your strength.
5. Eat even more cookiez.

 We’ll tell you how it went next week.

Categories: Gargoylz
Tags: Bart Gargoylz jokes Sport Relief

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Max Black updating all you Gargoylz fans.

Ben didn’t flick screens quick enough but Miss Bleet was really interested in the coconut snowballs especially when we told her they were a traditional Swiss food. We had to make some and take them into the class for show and tell and Miss Bleet ate seven! Then she turned a bit green and had to sit in the corner for the rest of the day, with her head in the sick bucket. 

Anyway, here’s Barney’s recipe for you all…

Coconut Snowballz

Warning – very tasty
Warning – containz coconut

You need…

225g digestive biscuits
100g desiccated coconut
2 tablespoonz cocoa powder
1 tin condensed milk 397g
50g coconut for rolling

A bowl
Rolling pin
Sieve
Plate for the rolling coconut
Container or plate for storing

What you do…

Crush the biscuits with the rolling pin. (You can put them in a plastic bag first so that they stay in one place.) Then put the crushed biscuits in the bowl.

Add the coconut and the condensed milk.

Add the cocoa powder, sieving it into the bowl.

Stir. It’s a big gloopy mixture!

Put the spare coconut on a large plate ready for rolling.

When it’s all mixed in, wash handz then scoop up a ball of the mixture – about the size of a ping pong ball. Make it nice and round, roll it in the spare coconut and then put it on the container or plate.

Do this until all the mixture is used up. You should have a pile of coconut snowballz. 

Put them in the fridge for about an hour.  Then eat – or share! 

Keep any left over in the fridge.

We don’t think you’ll have any left over! In fact I made some earlier and Mum told me I had to leave some for Jessica. But I sort of forgot. I can hear her yells so she must have just discovered the empty plate.

Urgent mission – hide!

Categories: Gargoylz
Tags: Ben Coconut Snowballs Max Miss Bleet

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Agent Neal reporting. I’m on the computer at school and I’m meant to be finding out some boring old stuff about ‘Farming in the Swiss Alps’ but Max and I have got something much more important to do – secret plan: catch up with our blog.

Sorry you didn’t get to hear Bart’s joke. He’s says we must start with it this week so here it is…

Q.  How do you spot a modern spider?

A.  He doesn’t have a web, he has a website!

Bart rolled about on his fat tummy for five minutes after telling us that.

On Wednesday the gargoylz called us into the church after school. They said they had a surprise. We’d just sat down on a pew and Ira started to tell us a long story about when he went to sea on his pirate ship. (Ira has never been to sea in his life!)  

Suddenly Barney came running down the aisle saying it was snowing! He dashed for the door, yelling “Time for a snowball fight.” Max and I were really excited and we charged after him. When we got outside we found there wasn’t any snow – on the ground that is. The gargoylz had played a trick on us.  But there was something even better –  a big plate of round, coconutty, chocolately cakes.  Barney told us they’re called Coconut Snowballs. He got the recipe from one of the vicar’s magazines.

And they were awesome!

I can hear Miss Bleet wittering on to Lucinda Tellingly about how hard she’s worked. Yuck!

Now she’s coming over here. Better switch screens before she sees this.

Categories: Gargoylz, Pranks
Tags: Bart Ben Coconut Snowballs Gargoylz Ira Max snow

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