Gargoylz Blog » 2010 » April

Blog writer: Agent Black

Mrs Hogsbum is back – worst luck.  She couldn’t wait for a flight so she hired a donkey all the way to Oldacre School.  Don’t know how it managed to swim the Channel!

Up early this morning and I’ve just played a great trick on my annoying little sister, Jessica. Mum’s going to call her for breakfast at any moment and I’ve swapped her boiled egg for rubber egg I got from the joke shop. It looks very realistic. She’s going to get so cross when she can’t break the shell.

Last Friday at computer (boring) club I clicked off the blog just as Mr Widget came up. Unfortunately he caught sight of a picture of Toby on the blog page so I had to pretend that I was researching Gargoyles of the World. Mr Widget said the picture looked nothing like a real gargoyle. He’d have a fit if he knew the truth – which he never will.

Anyway Toby overheard what Mr Widget said about him so he decided to play a trick on him.  He got Zack to pop invisible and go and borrow some green food colouring from the vicar’s kitchen. He put it in Mr Widget’s tea, so when Mr Widget drank it he went green all round his mouth. We went and told Mrs Hogsbum. She didn’t believe us until she came along and saw him. She told him he’d broken school rule number five hundred and thirty-two – teachers must not go green without permission. Computer club finished early – good result!

And then we told Bart all the jokes and he cheered up immediately so double good result.

Oh dear! Dad’s on the warpath. It turns out that Jessica hit the rubber egg so hard it bounced out, hit Dad’s spoon and splattered him with cornflakes and milk. For some reason they think it’s my fault. Got to go!


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School has been wonderful! Mrs Hogbum is stuck out in Mongolia because of the volcano that’s erupting in Iceland. She can’t fly back. Obviously she forgot to pack her broomstick when she went on holiday. Ha ha! The volcano will be in such trouble. It’s probably broken school rule number one million and five: volcanos must not erupt and stop head teachers getting back for the start of term.

Anyway, it’s 4 o’clock and we’re in the ICT room. The bell went half an hour ago. Unfortunately our mums signed us up for computer club with Mr Weedy Widget! They said it would make us behave sensibly after we got into trouble for making Lucinda shriek in English. Well it’s not our fault if she does that when she sees a skeleton.  Good old Rufus. He loomed up outside the classroom window right by her desk. It was awesome.

We tried to get out of computer club. Bart wanted us to go and play with all the gargoylz after school and he looked so sad when we said we couldn’t that we were determined not to let him down. When the bell rang I told Miss Bleet that I had the Mercury measles – like the Martian measles but with bigger spots – and Max said he was allergic to mice, especially wireless ones. Miss Bleet looked like she believed us but then Mrs Hogsbottom stalked past. She told us we were being outrageous and breaking School Rule number two hundred and seventeen – Boys must not pretend to have impossible diseases to get out of computer club.

So now we’re meant to be learning how to do research on the Internet but I’m secretly blogging instead. Max is looking up jokes and acting as superspy look out. He’s found some great jokes for Bart. That should cheer him up. Trouble is which one would work best? See what you think.

Q.  On which day do monsters eat people?
A.  Chewsday.

Q.  What is a sea monster’s favorite dish?
A.  Fish and ships.

Q. What’s big, heavy, furry, dangerous and has 16 wheels?
A.  A monster on roller-skates.

Let us know which one you like best.

Ow! Max just kicked me under the table. Here comes Mr Widget…


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16
Apr
The fire breathing cat…

Posted by Max

Blog writer: Agent Black

This has been a great Easter holidays. We’ve done loads of tricks this week.  The best one was the prank we played on the Basher.

On Wednesday we went to see the gargoylz at the church. But just as we started a fantastic game of ‘had’ in the churchyard, the Basher loomed over his garden wall. He was the last person we wanted to see – the gargoylz only just hid in time. He said we had to tell him what we were doing and he climbed over the wall. 

Then I saw Azzan waving at me from behind a grave. Theo was with him and it gave me an idea. I nudged Ben to let him know we had a secret plan and then told Barry that we’d found a fire breathing cat. He scoffed of course and said he’d thump us for wasting his time.

I winked at Theo and he turned into a kitten and gave a sweet miaow. Azzan stayed hidden but just as the Basher bent down to peer at Theo, Azzan blasted a flame over Theo’s head.  Barry was so frightened he vaulted his wall and was inside his house shouting for his mum before you could say ‘dragon!’

 Of course Theo was convinced it was because he’d turned into a fierce tiger but it didn’t matter. The Basher didn’t disturb us again.

Back to school on Monday (boo!) but we’re going to play an awesome trick on super annoying Lucinda Tellingly (Yay!) We haven’t forgotten she was going to tell on us about the rainforest.


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9
Apr
Easter Egg hunt!

Posted by Max

Blog writer: Agent Black

Poor Ben! He nearly didn’t get his hot cross buns! He was hiding in the wardrobe when he noticed an awful smell. For a moment he thought that Barney had sneaked in and made a bottom burp. Then he realised he was sitting on his dirty football socks that he’d stuffed in there instead of in the washing basket. He held his breath but it got too much and he began to choke. His mum found him straight away.

It was a good weekend for tasty food as it was Easter! We got lots of yummy chocolate eggs and Gran’s hot cross buns were scrumptious. We took some to the gargoylz and Rufus ate six! He said that when he uses his secret power he’s nothing but bones so he needed to fatten up! Then on Sunday, Ben and I made an Easter Egg hunt for the gargoylz. We bought lots of mini eggs with our pocket money and hid them all round the bottom of the garden. Then we invited the gargoylz over.

The hunt was going well when we heard Jessica coming. The gargoylz all froze in terror – except for Jelly who got so confused that he hopped backwards and forwards between our legs. Jessica took one look and ran inside, screaming to Mum that there was a bouncing dinosaur in the garden. Which was very silly of her because everyone knows that pterodactyls are lizards and not dinosaurs at all.

We carried on with the hunt and then we had a huge chocolate feast. Bart rubbed his tummy and told us that it was eggscellent, eggsciting and eggstraordinary! Groan! And we’ve still got another week of school holiday so who knows what we can get up to!

Keep reading, Gargoylz fans!


9


 Secret Plan: Write this blog before Mum finds out that I flooded the bathroom because I forgot to turn the bath taps off.

We had meant to play a trick on Arabella when we suddenly remembered what day it was yesterday! So we forgot all about silly sisters and spent the week planning for it. And it was worth it.

Yesterday was the last day of school – and APRIL FOOLS DAY! The gargoylz were so excited. It’s almost better than Christmas for a gargoyle because they play even more tricks than usual. We had to go to school but it didn’t matter because Max and I had thought up the most fantastic trick ever for the gargoylz to do.

 We decided to turn the school hall into a rainforest. (As we’ve been doing a project about rainforests we thought it would be quite educational.) First of all Cyrus went round the school singing everyone to sleep, including the teachers. He had to keep going up and down the corridors as his power doesn’t last very long. While he was doing that, me and Max and the gargoylz got soil and plants from the playground and decorated the whole hall. The wall bars made excellent trees when we’d put ivy all over them, and you couldn’t see the floor at all. It was completely covered in earth and leaves (and so was the piano). Our rainforest looked fantastic, especially when Ira flapped his wings to make it rain and Azzan breathed fire and turned it all into steam.

Then Max and I sneaked back to class as everyone woke up. The bell rang for the end of term assembly and we all had to go to the hall. We remembered to look surprised and not giggle when we went in and joined the rest of the kids who were gawping in amazement at the steamy green forest. Then Toby flapped past, wearing one of the vicar’s bright holiday shirts and looking like a cockatoo. Eli turned into a snake and slithered about – making all the silly girls shriek. Bart burped up some of his best spiders and Theo tried to turn into a rainforest tiger. Zack popped invisible and ran around with some paper butterflies. The other gargoylz made loud monkey noises.

Mrs Hogsbottom rushed in, slipped on the rainforest floor and fell flat on her face! She looked very funny covered in mud and shrieking ‘Outrageous!’ She was just about to think up a terrible punishment for the whole school as we had broken school rule number six hundred and seventy-four – children must not make rainforests on school property – when Barney came to the rescue. He did one of his stinkiest bottom burps ever, and we all ran out. And just in time as Lucinda Tellingly was telling Mrs Hogsbum that she thought Max and I had done the forest. She even said it was the sort of horrible thing we’d do.  We won’t forget that, Lucinda!

When we saw the gargoylz after school we all agreed it was the best April Fools Day in the history of best April Fools Days.

I’m going to meet Max now. His gran – codename:supercook – is going to make hot cross buns as it’s Good Friday!  Uh oh. I can hear someone squelching along the landing. Mum’s been in the bathroom. Now she’s coming to find me. Signing off in a hurry and going to hide in the wardrobe.


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