Gargoylz Blog » 2010 » August
27
Aug

Posted by Ben

Max nearly deafened me when I told him what the awesome surprise was.  He was coming on holiday with me! 

And here we are, staying in a caravan right next to the beach.  It’s great.  We’ve got sand and huge waves – and some gargoyle friends of course. 

Yesterday we entered a sandcastle competition. Max and I made a superspy motor launch with shells for the missile launch buttons and seaweed for missiles – it made Arabella scream when we launched it at her.  The gargoylz all got together behind a rock and made a sand church which they decorated with sand models of themselves.  While we waited for the judges we had ice cream and Azzan got covered in it.  (He got overexcited and melted his with his flames.)

At that moment we saw the judges coming.  The other gargoylz hid but Azzan tripped!  He rolled over and the sand stuck to the ice cream on his stone.  He looked like a sand dragon.  He just had time to sit up with one paw in the air when the judges arrived.  And we won first prize for him!  The gargoylz were really cross until they realised what the prize was.  Free ice cream for the rest of the holiday.      

Bart has a holiday joke for Abel. 

Q. What do trees wear at the seaside?

A. Swimming trunks!

We go back to school next Wednesday, worse luck.  But we have a plan.  Every time we see Mrs Hogsbum we’re going to lean to one side and hold our noses!  We’ll never let her forget her holiday trip to Pisa.




Barney’s home and has told us all about his holiday.  It turns out that the Leaning Tower wasn’t made of pizza after all.  It was a proper tower in Pisa that leans.  He didn’t realise until he’d got to the top and took a big bite out of the stone!   It gave him such a fright that he made one of his smells and Mrs Hogsbum got the blame!  All the tourists had to hold their noses and the guide asked Mrs Hogbum to leave.  She shouted outrageous and told them they’d broken holiday rule number 754 – No one tells a head teacher to leave a leaning tower. 

There was an animal fun day at the church yesterday in aid of the donkey sanctuary down the road.  The vicar dressed up as a kangaroo and bounced around giving out sweets from his pouch – until Zack got inside and scoffed the lot.  Ben and I went as a giant cockroach and scared Doris and Aggie, the demon flower arrangers.

Theo turned into a kitten and won first prize for his costume.  The vicar thought he was a small child.  Our new friend Abel had transformed into a tree and was having a snooze when the vicar’s wife pinned a treasure hunt clue to his trunk.  He soon woke up and changed the wording so that all the treasure hunters ended up in the pond!  It was a great day and the donkeys are now going to have new ear warmers for winter.

Mum’s calling me.  She says it’s Ben on the phone and he’s got an awesome surprise for me.



13
Aug

Posted by Ben

Max’s Dalek impression with the tin foil and the plunger was really realistic. He knew Jessica is scared of them so he barged into her bedroom in his disguise, chanting ‘exterminate, exterminate’ and hoping she’d run for her life. But it didn’t work like that.  She whacked him over the head with a fairy wand saying that she was Doctor Who and that was her sonic screwdriver.

We had a postcard from Italy today.  It was a bit damp round the edges.  We’d been wondering where Barney had got to as we hadn’t seen him on the church recently and the other gargoylz couldn’t tell us.  Anyway, it was his writing on the card.  It said that last week he saw Mrs Hogsbum packing for her holiday and filling her case with cookies.  He dived straight in, got zipped up and next thing he knew he was in a hotel in Venice and Mrs Hogsbum was unpacking her knickers.  He was so scared he scrambled out of the window and fell straight in a canal.  He didn’t know the roads are all made of water in Venice.

He says he’s having a great time eating pasta and gelato – that’s Italian for ice cream – and he can’t wait until she visits the Leaning Tower of Pizza.  He hopes it’s cheese and tomato!



6
Aug

Posted by Max

Unfortunately Ben wasn’t fast enough hiding from Arabella and her five zillion and three photos of the dolls’ museum even though he hid on the top shelf of the airing cupboard.

Anyway he soon recovered when I told him we were going to spend the whole of the next day in my garden right away from his annoying sister.

However, I’d forgotten that my annoying sister would be around.  When we got outside, ready for a game of superspies, Jessica had taken over the whole lawn with a yucky teddy bears’ picnic and told us to go away and play indoors. 

We were about to spray her with water from the hose when Mum saw us and made us sweep the patio – and she said she was going to keep an eye on us.

We were just thinking that this wasn’t going to be a fun day after all when a pair of stony ears popped up from a pot plant.  It was Zack, and Neb was with him.  We pretended to be polishing the pot and bent down to tell them all about Jesscia taking over the garden.  Zack and Neb grinned at each other so we knew they were going to do something cool.  Zack disappeared and Neb blended with the patio stones.

When Jessica went inside to get more juice, her teddy bears began moving about.  She couldn’t believe her eyes when she came back to see Grumblytum on his head, Sleepytime Ted up a tree and Mr Fuzzyfur with his head through a hole in the fence and the others were all in a heap on the shed roof.  And half the picnic had been eaten.  She let out an ear-splitting scream and told Mum that we’d done it!  Of course Mum knew it wasn’t us as she’d been watching us making a beautiful job of the patio.  Jessica was so cross she started taking her bears inside.  We helped which made her even crosser and then we had a great game of superspies.   It’s extra good when you’ve got two vanishing gargoylz!

Bart has read a teddy bear joke in a book.

Q. What do you get if you cross a skunk with a teddy bear?
A. Winnie the Pooh!

Oh dear he’s just made one up one of his own.

Q. What do you get if you cross a bottom burping gargoyle with a teddy bear?

A. Barney the Pooh!

I’ve thought of another trick I can play on Jessica.  Going off to get tin foil and a plunger!



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