Gargoylz Blog » 2010 » December

I had an awesome Christmas Day with lots of goodies to eat and loads of presents. And I hope you did too.  But the best day was Boxing Day because I saw Max and the gargoylz.

We met up with Max and his family to have a long walk and a pub lunch because our parents said they’d done enough cooking! Max and I didn’t want to go on a boring walk until we found that the gargoylz were coming too. 

Arabella and Jessica were being really bossy and telling us not to jump in the mud as it was dirty. We told them they had to be careful not to upset the mud monsters. Arabella put on her most annoying bossy monitor face and said there were no such things as mud monsters.

Can you guess what happened next?

As soon as the grownups had gone on ahead, a whole army of mud monsters jumped out on the girls and splattered them with mudpies. One of the monsters turned into a mud kitten, another one burped muddy spiders and there was a dreadful pong.  The girls ran shrieking to our parents and got told off for getting so muddy.

 It’s New Year’s Eve and tonight Max is coming to my house and we’re allowed to stay up until midnight when it’ll be 2011 – as long as we go to bed straight after. All the gargoylz are coming so it’s going to be a bit of a squeeze.

Wow! Ira’s just reminded me that we’ve been doing this blog for a whole year. Awesome!

Happy gargoyling new year, Gargoylz fans!

from

Max and Ben

and

Abel, Azzan, Barney, Bart, Cyrus, Eli, Ira, Jelly, Neb, Ruben, Rufus, Theo, Toby, Zack


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Bart insisted that we give you his Christmas present a bit early so here it is… a bunch of Christmas jokes!

What is a child’s favourite king at Christmas?  

A stocking!

What did the cow say on 25th December?

Mooey Christmas!

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?

Tinselitis!

How did Good King Wenceslas like his pizza?

Deep and crisp and even!

What goes oh, oh, oh?

Santa walking backwards!

What did Rudolph want for Christmas?

A sleigh-station!

What’s warm and delicious and sneaks round the kitchen?

Mince spies!

And talking of mince pies, Ben and I are off to see the gargoylz with a whole tin of them.  We’re going to have a Christmas Feast.  So here’s the last joke.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Mary.

Mary who?

Mary Christmas Everyone!


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Our party hats started off okay. I went round to Max’s house on Saturday and found that Jelly, Neb, Barney and Ira were already there, helping Max to get out all the paper and glue and stuff that we needed. We decided to make pirate hats.  We’d just got our cardboard into cool pirate hat shapes when Max’s mum called us for a snack.  When we got back (bringing cookies for our friends, of course) we found a terrible mess and not a gargoyle in sight. The hats were covered in dead leaves, old socks and toilet paper!  And so was the furniture. Then Barney, Neb and Ira popped out of the wardrobe and yelled ‘surprise’! They thought we’d be pleased. When we complained about the hats, Ira told us that he knew all about olden day pirates and they always looked a bit messy. Then we heard Jelly calling for help. He’d turned into a ball of purple goo and was stuck to the top of Max’s hat. When we’d peeled him off and he’d gone back to normal he explained he wanted to be there when Mrs Hogsbum gave his hat the prize.

We felt really stupid at the party in our hats. I had one of Max’s football socks dangling in my face and he had toilet paper over one eye. We wanted to take our hats off but Mrs Hogsbum said we’d be breaking school rule number 961 – boys must not take party hats off at Christmas parties. And then it was brilliant because we won the prize for the funniest hats!

Then Abel played the most awesome Christmas trick on Mrs Hogsbum. He waited until she was making her rounds of the school at lunchtime and transformed into a Christmas tree, complete with baubles and tinsel. He took up the whole corridor. We were just coming along and saw Mrs Hogsbum going red in the face with steam blowing out of her ears. Unfortunately she spotted us and thought we’d done it. She told us we’d broken school rule number 962 – boys must not block the corridor with Christmas trees. The moment she’d gone, Abel turned back into his normal self, scampered round to overtake her and turned into a tree again. She couldn’t understand how the tree kept moving and in the end she thought she must be going mad and went home. Result!

Now we’ve got two whole weeks off for Christmas!


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The Christmas fair was awesome.  There were some cool stalls in the hall – Cracker Tug-of-war, Pudding Rolling and Splat the Christmas Rat.  And of course, the cake stall.  The gargoylz were all hiding under it when Ben and I arrived and Miss Bleet, who was running it, looked very upset as the supplies kept disappearing. We had to buy a whole lot of goodies and lure the gargoylz away in case they got spotted. Then Zack saw Father Christmas and shouted – ‘Hello Santa, how’s Ruben?’

Mrs Hogsbottom thought it was me and told me I’d broken School Rule number 357 – Boys must not shout at Father Christmas! Poor Zack was very disappointed that Santa didn’t seem to recognise his voice. He cheered up when Ben and I told him it wasn’t the real Santa because we’d seen Mr Duster’s wellies under the red trousers – and Santa is far too busy to come to a school fair at this time of year.   

Anyway, the school play was yesterday and Ben was in it after all! And he played the main part – Scrooge. Luckily for him, Gavin, who was supposed to play Scrooge has chickenpox and Duncan, his understudy, came out in spots just before the curtain went up. Anyway, Miss Bleet had to ask Ben to do it instead. As he didn’t have time to learn his lines (and he couldn’t have done no matter how long he had!) he was allowed to use his script. He was very nervous but the gargoylz helped. When the ghosts visited Scrooge they sat above the stage and made wonderful wailing sounds and rattled chains and boxes of pasta.  We weren’t sure why they used pasta until Eli explained that they just liked the noise.

Signing off now. Tomorrow we’ve got to make hats for our school Christmas party next week. There’s a prize for the best one. We’ve promised the gargoylz that they can help. We’re not sure that was a good idea.


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We covered Jessica’s cupcakes in green gooey icing and told her it was snot!  She stamped her foot and said ‘it’s not!’ We roared with laughter and said we were glad she agreed. Do you get it, gargoylz fans?  If not, try saying ‘It’s not’ and ‘It’s snot’ out loud!!

We’re going to start rehearsing for our class Christmas play. It’s called ‘A Christmas Carol’. It’s an awesome story. This mean old man called Scrooge gets visited by four ghosts and it makes him nicer.  The ghosts are brilliant.  I want to be the ghost of Christmas present.  I thought I’d be dressing up as a ghostly parcel till Miss Bleat told me that ‘Christmas present’ didn’t mean a present that you give at Christmas. It means the ghost of this Christmas. Why do grownups have such funny ways of saying things? Anyway, the ghost of Christmas present gets to say lots and I’ve been practising like mad so that I get chosen. But as usual I’m having trouble remembering the words. Still Max and the gargoylz said they’d help.  The gargoylz haven’t been that helpful so far. I popped into the churchyard after school for a rehearsal. But they had their fingers in their ears when I was trying the lines and Barney even said my acting was giving him a tummy ache. Then he got very anxious that he’d upset me and did an accidental bottom burp. The dreadful stink went everywhere. That was enough for Max and me. We ran home. If this goes on, I don’t think I’m going to get any part at all in the play.

It’s the Christmas fair tomorrow. The gargoylz weren’t too sure about coming into school on a Saturday until they heard there’d be a cake stall.  I wonder what tricks they’ll get up to…


Categories: Gargoylz, Pranks, jokes
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