There’s still plenty of snow around. On Saturday me and Ben got the sledge out of the garage and took it off to the park. We called for the gargoylz on the way of course and we all went to the big hill. We went so early we were the only ones there. All the garogylz came with us, even Theo who doesn’t like getting his paws wet. We had to take turns and in the end Zack and Toby decided to go off and find some more sledges. They soon came back with a broken gate, an old bath tub and the vicar’s best tea tray. It was brilliant! With four sledges we had loads of races. Then Abel had an idea. He turned into a tree and lay down in the snow. He told us to all climb on board and then we set off down the hill, riding on his trunk. (He bent all his branches up so they didn’t get caught in the snow.) Trouble was we were going so fast we didn’t stop when we got to the frozen lake! Me and Ben jumped off as we knew that the ice might break but the gargolyz zoomed straight on to it. (Even if they fell in they’d be all right, being made of stone). But then we heard the park keeper shouting at us. He said we’d pushed the tree on to the lake! He was running along towards us shouting we’d be in terrible trouble for cutting down one of the council’s precious trees and chucking it on the ice. But when he got to us there was no sign of the tree – or the gargoylz.

We looked really innocent and suggested that he’d been working too hard and he should have a cup of tea! When he’d staggered off scratching his head we picked up the gate and bath and the vicar’s tea tray and I got my sledge and me and Ben started to pull it across the park to go home but it was really heavy. It seemed to be piled high with snow but then suddenly the snow moved and the gargoylz burst out shouting ‘boo’! We had a great snowball fight! Hope there’s more snow tonight!!!

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On Monday we all marched into assembly and there in front of us was the screen with a big picture of a potato on it. We groaned. Mrs Hogsbum hadn’t forgotten that she was going to show us her holiday photos, all about her trip to Potato World. Me and Ben used our superspy vision apparatus – our eyes – to see if there were any gargoylz in sight who could save us from this fate worse than death. But no stony ears or tails to be seen.
Every photo showed a potato – apart from the one with Mrs Hogsbum holding her favourite potato. After an hour and a half of boring potatoes, we were just about falling asleep when Mrs Hogbum bellowed ‘Outrageous’! That woke us up. On the screen was a large potato with a Christmas hat on! Everyone burst out laughing. Mrs Hogsbum clicked to the next picture. But this potato was on a skateboard. The next one was on a rollercoaster, and then there was a video of three potatoes pinging rubber bands all over her office. Now we could hear gargoyly giggling from the window so we knew who to thank for the awesome show. The gargoylz had come to our rescue. Somehow they’d got on to her computer and changed the pictures. Mrs Hogsbottom stormed out looking purple in the face and we thought that was going to be the end of the fun, but luckily Mr Widget took over and showed us the rest of the pictures which were all very funny.
Then it was chips for lunch – what a result! That’s the best way to treat a potato!!

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We had a great Christmas and hope you did too.
We played a great trick on Arabella and Jessica. Our horrible sisters were being particularly horrible. We wanted to play Twister but they made us sit and listen to them singing for hours and when we complained our mums said we had to have more Christmas spirit! So we decided to get our own back. When they’d stopped screeching, we warned them about the haunted Christmas tree. Then we ran off and fetched Abel. All the other gargoylz came along to see the trick. For the rest of the day, Abel turned into a Christmas tree and appeared wherever the girls were. The other gargoylz took turns to sit on the top like a fairy and howl at our ghastly sisters. They ran to Mum but of course, when she came in, Abel had disappeared. It was very funny. In the end the girls sat in the corner with a blanket over their heads and we went upstairs to play Twister with the gargoylz. Rufus kept squashing everybody, Zack kept popping invisible but Jelly was really good at stretching and not falling over so he won.
Happy New Year everyone from Max, Ben and all the gargoylz.

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Ben stayed over on Friday night and we were really excited the next morning as we were going to have a Mega Cake Feast at the church Christmas fete. Then Mum told us that some sort of bug was going round so they didn’t have enough helpers and she’d told the vicar that we would help. Awesome, we thought. We’ll make sure we’re running the cake stall. But when we got there Barry the Basher’s mum was running it and he was stuffing his face. The cakes were disappearing fast. And what was worse, we were put on the ‘buy something nice for your mum for Christmas’ stall. It was covered in soap and bath salts and it smelled like flowers. Yuck! And then something even worse happened. The Basher came over and started laughing at us. He was so busy making faces that he didn’t notice a stony little paw putting tinsel round his head and pinning fairy wings to his back. Suddenly everyone was laughing at him and he didn’t know why. Until his mum gave a shriek and rushed him off. That left the cake stall in need of expert helpers – us! By the time we went home, the table was empty and we were full. And so were the gargoylz.

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Ben’s great-aunt Betty came to stay with him last weekend. We asked his mum if he could stay at mine as it was going to be really boring round his house. His mum said no – and worse than that, she said I should come and meet Great-aunt Betty. Ben’s great-aunt wasn’t ‘great’ at all. It turned out that she likes girls but she thinks boys should be seen and not heard. That meant we had to sit on the couch and keep still! And that’s impossible. Arabella, Ben’s bossy sister, was really enjoying the attention because Great-aunt Betty was making a huge fuss of her and telling her how clever she was. That was a disaster. It was making Arabella even more bossy.
Of course Max and I had gone prepared. We had a gargoyle or two up our sleeve. They weren’t really up our sleeves but Neb and Jelly were hiding behind the couch.
Great-aunt Betty and Arabella were helping themselves to cake and they were taking the biggest pieces so we whispered to Neb and Jelly to help us out and then we’d share the cake with them. Suddenly all the jam in the cake sploshed out and hit Great-aunt Betty and Arabella in the face! They shrieked and rushed off to the bathroom.
Ben and I rolled about the couch laughing. At that moment, Jelly popped up beside us and asked when did we want them to do their trick. We were gobsmacked! Ben said, ‘we thought it was you and Neb!” Neb appeared then and the two gargoylz looked very confused. They promised that they had nothing to do with it. Then we heard some gargoyly giggling coming from behind Great-aunt Betty’s chair.
Tell you what happened next week.

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Me and Ben had a great idea last weekend. A boy who lives down the road is a scout and he told us he’d been on a hammock camp with his troop. It sounded awesome! You don’t stay in a tent – you sleep in hammocks hung on trees! We decided to try it out. We didn’t have warm sleeping bags, or hammocks, but we weren’t going give up just like that! We got a load of string and made two really good hammocks with lots of knots. Mum and Dad thought it was a silly idea and I heard Mum say, ‘They won’t stay out for long.’ When it got dark we went out into the garden and hung the hammocks from the trees and got lots of duvets and blankets and climbed in.
After about 5 minutes we were getting a bit cold but we weren’t going to give up. It was dark and the wind was a bit noisy, but we weren’t scared at all even though we’d forgotten to take a torch with us.
Then something moved in the trees. Then we heard footsteps! And then our hammocks started to rock – and it wasn’t the wind!! We shut our eyes in terror. Arghhhhhh!

You’ll have to wait till next week for the rest.

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We’ve had a great week off. Remember the Halloween party last Saturday? Our ghost pirate costumes were really amazing and the gargoylz all came with us, in disguise. The hall was all decorated in lanterns and bats and the only light was from some electric pumpkins so everyone looked very frightening. Lucinda didn’t stop screaming the whole evening. I don’t know why. We only put 3 frogs down her back. Miss Bilberry, the ancient Chair of Governors of Oldacre School, got everyone lined up so she could judge the costume competition. The hall door burst open and a really evil-looking figure in a long cape came sweeping in, screeching at the top of her voice. Her face looked really green and horrible in the dim lights. Miss Bilberry immediately announced that the person in the cape was the winner of the ‘Scariest Witch’ category. The winner didn’t look too pleased. She stormed over to the lights and put them on. It was Mrs Hogsbum! We could see that she wasn’t green any more – just bright red. She looked as if she was about to explode! Miss Bilberry, who can’t see too well, presented her with a plastic cauldron, told her she was the scariest witch she’d ever seen and asked her which class she was in.
Funnily enough, Mrs Hogsbum didn’t stay too long after that. We got a prize for most unusual costume – a box of yummy chocolate bats. Then a very small child won the prize for the Ghostliest Ghost. Miss Bilberry gave him his prize – a bag of bloodshot eyeball sweets and said she was very impressed by the way he looked as if he was floating round the room under his sheet without touching the ground. We were the only ones who knew it wasn’t a child at all, but Toby, who can fly!
Bonfire night on Monday! We’re going to a big display on the village green. There’ll be a fair there as well!

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Lucinda and Poppy and Tiffany have been really getting on our nerves this week. They are all learning to ride horses and they think they are so important. They keep galloping round the playground making stupid neighing noises. And then yesterday a policeman came in with his horse to talk to our class and they went mad!
But in the end it gave us a brilliant idea for a trick to play on them. Today at playtime we asked Rufus and Zack if they would help us and of course they said yes. We said we needed Zack to get a big blanket and a saddle by dinnertime and told them both what we wanted them to do. At dinnertime we made sure we were the first out into the playground. There in the corner of the playground was what looked like a horse, covered in a blanket, with a saddle on its back and reins to hold on to! (Guess which big lumpy gargoyle was underneath the blanket making the horse shape. That’s right, it was Rufus.) We hung around until the girls ran out and screeched so loudly when they saw it that we nearly went deaf. We told them it was a mechanical practice horse that the policeman had left and only really good riders could go on it. Well, of course they all wanted a go and started fighting. Poppy won and got on first. As soon as she kicked the horse it gave a wiggle and she fell straight off. Tiffany said she was better than Poppy and wouldn’t have any trouble staying on. She soon fell off when the horse kicked its legs up. Lucinda laughed and got on saying she was the expert. The horse reared up and galloped off round the playground (out of sight of the dinner ladies, luckily). Lucinda clung on – until Rufus reared up and threw her into the school compost heap. Then we went up the horse and both got on. It trotted obediently round the playground. The girls had their mouths open like gobsmacked goldfish.
They didn’t mention horses for the rest of the day. I don’t know why…
One more week till half term! AWESOME!

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Our mums signed us up for a special after school club this week. We weren’t keen as it was being run by Mr Widget and he usually does boring stuff like leaf collecting or ant counting. However when we arrived we found it was volleyball! First of all we played with eight on each side. It was great fun, especially as we had Duncan on our team and he’s really good at it. Then we played sitting volleyball like they did in the Paralympics. We had to play sitting on our bottoms.
Anyway when we told the gargoylz about it, they all wanted to play. So we marked out a pitch behind the nettles in the graveyard. But they didn’t understand the rules. Toby thought he could fly with the ball, Theo pounced on it like a kitten and Barney got so excited he kept making humungous pongs!
Then we heard some screechy voices. It was Doris and Aggie, the demon flower arrangers. They were coming close, TOO CLOSE! Ben and I were just wondering where we could hide the gargoylz when Abel used his special power and turned into a tree. Suddenly he was a small weeping willow with long branches reaching down to the ground. It was a bit like a tent. Quick as flash, our stony friends scampered behind the leaves out of sight. But Doris and Aggie were rolling their sleeves up and stomping towards us.
Oh no, Dad’s calling me for tea so I’d better go. Tell you the rest next week.

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It’s harvest festival time. We don’t mind bringing in tins for the people who haven’t got enough food but Mrs Hogsbum then said they had to be colour coordinated! She only wanted purple, pink and beige tins. You see, the photographer from the Gazette was coming to take a picture and she wanted it to be the best photo of a harvest festival in the history of photos of harvest festivals. The stupid thing is that the photos in the Gazette are usually black and white so it didn’t matter what colour the tins were.
Anyway our parents went mad trying to track down tins of the right colour to bring in on Monday. There was a lot of salmon and plums so we feel really sorry for the hungry people. Anyway, Mrs Hogsbum wouldn’t let anyone near the display. She had to do it herself. She was in the hall for ages, stacking tins, making shapes with tins, spelling out words with tins. Finally she decided on a sailing ship design. We were desperate to play a trick on her but then she said that no one could go into the hall until Friday. This made life really hard as we have to go across the hall to get to the infants, and the PE cupboard and the secretary’s office. Instead we had to go out into the playground and go all around the school. This gave us the chance to send a message to our little stony friends on the church roof. We weren’t allowed to go into the hall but she hadn’t said that gargoylz couldn’t. Of course she doesn’t know that the gargoylz are alive but she should have been clearer on who couldn’t go into the hall.
So every now and then we’d be working hard with our maths or our spellings and an ‘outrageous’ would rip through the school. We all ran to see what had happened. First time the tins were all upside-down. Then they were in a long line snaking across the hall floor. The last time they looked like a statue of a toilet with the seat up! So Mrs H locked the hall doors and set up a video camera inside to catch anyone who went near her precious tins.
The photographer is coming tonight. I wonder if any invisible paws have managed to change the display again. We’ll find out in tomorrow’s Gazette!

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