Arabella has been the bossiest school monitor in the history of bossiest school monitors all week! We decided to play an awesome trick on her. It was Cyrus’s idea. He’d seen it on the vicar’s tv. The vicar had been watching a boring programme all about church porches so Cyrus sang him to sleep and watched the programmes he wanted to. And he got this great idea.
Max and I were at my house and we called Arabella into the kitchen then we showed her our plates which were covered in flies. And then we ate them in front of her! She screamed. Then we got more flies to fly round her head making really loud buzzing noises. And of course when Mum came in to see what all the noise was about, our plates were clean and the flying flies buzzed off. Then at tea time, we put some flies into her spaghetti and just as she was about to eat a big mouthful, we pointed them out. Arabella spat sauce and pasta all over the table. It was awesome!
We didn’t eat real flies of course. That would be disgusting. Cyrus made them for us. And guess who ran round Arabella’s head holding a fly in each hand and buzzing in her ear – you’ve got it, invisible Zack.
Want to make your own flies? Well here’s how you do it…

You need:
Big, juicy raisins
Flaked almonds
To make one fly -
Take one raisin and two bits of flaked almond.
Make two little holes in the raisin. (You can snip it with scissors as long as they’re clean scissors and haven’t got yucky glue on and they’re safe for kids to use and all that boring stuff.)
Stick an almond slice into each hole to look just like wings.
Then eat them in front of your annoying sisters or parents!
Have fun!

Got to go and hide now. Turns out Mum needed the raisins for a cake and we’d eaten the last ones! Can’t think how she knows it was us.

Categories: Enemy agents, Gargoylz, News, Pranks
Tags:

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It was the Fun Day yesterday and it was fun! The gargoylz came and dashed off the moment they saw all the baby rides. The last we saw of them, they were hiding in the mini train and they were having a great time.
Max and I were asked to help with the bubbles. We thought we’d be blowing them out of those little wand things but it turned out they had a machine. It was awesome. All we had to do was fill it with soapy mixture and turn it on. It made the most humungous bubbles and the little kids loved them. They ran all over the place, chasing them and trying to make them burst. The bubbles were super strong and very hard to break. Jessica had a great time and almost seemed human. Hard to believe, I know!
But then disaster! We were told to have an ice cream break and we didn’t need to be told twice. We got a double scoop with chocolate flake and crunchy cone completely free because we were helpers. They were mega-delicious. We’d eaten about half when a stony paw pulled at my sleeve. It was Rufus and he looked worried. It turned out that Toby had been mucking about with the bubble machine trying to make the biggest bubble in the history of biggest bubbles. He’d been sitting on the machine when the bubble came out and he’d got trapped inside. Now he was floating high above the park and the others didn’t know how to rescue him as Toby is the only one who can fly.
We asked Barney and Eli to look after our ice creams and then we gathered the rest of the gargoylz together. We could see Toby’s bubble floating away over the play park. Luckily no one was in there as they were all at the Fun Day. Abel dashed up to the top of the slide and then turned into the tallest tree he could. But he still wasn’t high enough to reach Toby. I had a brainwave – gargoyle ladder! I got the others to scramble up to the very top of Abel’s tree and then stand on each other’s shoulders. Rufus turned into a skeleton to make himself as tall as possible. The gargoyle ladder was very wobbly but it worked. As Toby floated by, Theo stretched out a claw and popped the bubble. Toby flew away and the other gargoylz tumbled down in a heap and slid down the slide. Mission success!
Max and I went back to the bubble machine and found that Barney and Eli had finished our ice creams! Luckily we had some pocket money and bought our own – triple scoop with two flakes each.

Mum and Dad have been hinting all day about a surprise to finish off the school holidays. Wonder what it will be…

Categories: Gargoylz, News
Tags:

8

Ben and I came up with the most awesome trick in the history of awesome tricks to get back at Arabella for trying to spoil our marble run. We had some help from the gargoylz, of course.
Enoch, Ira, Theo and Toby turned up and sneaked down to the bottom of Ben’s garden with us. Theo turned into a kitten and ran up a tree. He miaowed at the top of his voice. Ben and I hid behind a bush and waited. Arabella heard him and ran out into the garden. She saw a poor little tabby kitten stuck and went to get a chair to stand on so that she could reach him. But while she was inside, Toby flew over, grabbed Theo and took him up to sit on her bedroom windowsill. When she staggered out with the chair he miaowed loudly again. She peered up into the tree and it was ages before she realised he’d moved. So she staggered back in with the chair and we saw her heading for the stairs to go up to her bedroom to rescue him.
Ben signalled Toby and he grabbed Theo and took him over to the garden shed. Arabella appeared at her bedroom window and thought the kitten had fallen. Then she saw him on the garden shed. While she was running downstairs, Toby took Theo up to the roof. Enoch hid behind the bird table and Ira went up into the apple tree.
Arabella sprinted down to the shed. Just as she realised that the kitten had gone, Theo miaowed from the roof. Then Enoch miaowed from behind the bird table – he did an excellent impression of Theo – and then Ira miaowed from the apple tree. (well, it sounded more like a squawk) Arabella ran backwards and forwards trying to find the kitten until she collapsed in a heap. Then Theo the kitten strolled up to her, batted her on the nose with a paw and stalked off with his tail in the air.
Arabella was too tired all day to bother us and we made another marble run. It was awesome. The Blue Wonder – remember Ben’s best marble? – shot down a mountain, through a tunnel and up a ramp to land in the pond. It was a record run!
Great! Mum has just told us that we are going with Jessica to the church fete and WE CAN HELP TO TRICK HER. That sounds awesome! She’s never let us do that before.

Categories: Gargoylz, News, Pranks
Tags:

6

Yesterday was the film that Mrs Hogsbum had promised us. We were so excited when we all trooped into the hall. Mr Widget had the DVD machine all set up and there was a big screen at the front. We weren’t going to miss a thing. Mrs Hogsbottom had gone on and on in assembly about how we were going to enjoy the film and anyone who didn’t would be breaking school rule no. 568 – Children must enjoy the exciting film that the head teacher is showing them – so Max and I were sure it was Spy-Boy and the Sharkmen from Jupiter. We were so sure that we’d invited the gargoylz to join us.
But when it started we realised that the film was all about fluffy animals who lived in a riverbank and went about in silly boats. It was so old that it was in black and white! And the animals were the worst actors in the history of worst actors! No wonder Mrs Hogsbottom didn’t stay to watch it.
And even worse, Mr Widget had told us that it lasted for two hours. Then I felt a stony paw tap me on the knee. It was Neb. He’d blended in with the wooden floor and come to find out why we’d invited all the gargoylz to see such a boring film.
I explained the mix up and he scampered away, telling me not to worry.
Max and I were just wondering if the clock had stopped when suddenly the picture on the screen flickered and Spy-Boy appeared. The gargoylz had secretly changed the DVDs and they had found Spy-Boy and the Sharkmen from Jupiter from somewhere. Everyone cheered. Mrs Hogsbottom poked her nose round the door and looked really happy because she thought we were cheering at the river animals. Luckily she didn’t turn to see what was on the screen which makes me even more sure that she couldn’t bear to watch the fluffy rats and was torturing us.
Anyway Spy-Boy and the Sharkmen from Jupiter was awesome. We were amazed that the gargoylz had managed to find a copy but it turned out that Toby had noticed it on the vicar’s TV table and had sneaked in to pinch it.
We’re off to give the gargoylz some cookies as a thank you.
Next week it’s the last week of term. We have six lovely long weeks of holiday to come. But before that, Miss Bleet wants our year to have an end of term concert and we’ve all got to do something. Max and I have got to get our thinking caps on. I’m sure the gargoylz will help out.

Categories: Gargoylz, News
Tags: Bart Ben Lucinda Max

14

Max came round to my house for tea last night as we had to write a story for Miss Bleet about hanging baskets. That was a punishment as she’d found our model of King Henry VIII made out of everyone’s PE bags. We tried to tell her he was a very fat king and that was why we’d needed all the PE bags but she was still cross for some reason and kept muttering that we shouldn’t have used superglue.  Some teachers just don’t understand education!

Anyway, on the way home I had to get new shoes. The most boring shopping in the history of most boring shopping.  Mum picked Max and me up in the car and we went off to this old-fashioned shop where a very cross lady got loads of really horrible shoes out for me to try. I told Mum they all looked like what grandads wear but she wouldn’t listen and the shoes lady kept tutting at me.  Suddenly Max started giggling. One of the pairs of shoes jumped out of the box and started jumping about! Then another pair joined in! Mum and the shoe lady couldn’t believe their eyes! We knew just what had happened. Zack and Neb had stowed away in the car and come in to help. 

Then we heard Toby’s growly voice from under the seats.  “Disgusting! These shoez have got fleaz. That’s why they’re jumping about.”

All the other shoppers screamed and stampeded so fast for the door that they all tried to go through it together and got stuck. The cross lady had to call the fire brigade to get them free! And in the meantime, I chose some really cool shoes and the cross lady and Mum were so upset by everything that they didn’t argue. Result! 

Next Friday is April Fool’s Day. I wonder if the gargoylz have got anything planned?

Categories: Enemy agents, Gargoylz, Pranks
Tags: April Fool's Day Ben Gargoylz Max Miss Bleet Neb Pranks Toby Zack

9

We made an awesome base by sticking loads of big boxes together.

We had a tunnel and a secret lab and a launch pad for our superspy rocket. But then Jessica came along. She wanted to play but she didn’t want to play Spy-boy. We didn’t want to play Spy-boy with her either but instead she wanted our base to be a princess castle! Ben and I were nearly sick.

Luckily Bart, Jelly and Neb had come to play with us. So Jelly melted down into a squidgy blob all over her shoes, Neb blended in with the cardboard and tripped Jessica up and Bart burped some spiders down her neck.  Jessica ran away screaming and so the secret base became a princess-free zone again.

Bart wanted us to tell you his best joke for this time of year but he likes two and couldn’t decide which one.  What do you think?

Q. What season is it when you’re on a trampoline?…

A. Spring-time!

Q. Can February March?…

A. No but April May!

Ben and I have to make a model of a king for history homework so we’re going to plan it out this weekend. We’ve chosen King Henry the eighth and I’ve had an awesome idea about how to do it that will be a trick as well.

Categories: Enemy agents, Gargoylz, Pranks, jokes
Tags: Bart Ben Gargoylz Jelly Jessica jokes Max Neb Pranks spiders

10

The gargoylz came back today from their World Book Day travels and already they’ve been up to their usual tricks. They sent leaves and water gushing down on the vicar outside the church.  They’ve been to Hertfordshire and Essex this week and Toby said the visits have been awesome. 

We had great fun last Saturday. We met the gargoylz at the church. We had our paper and charcoal ready to do some brass rubbings in case any grownups came along. We thought we’d have the place to ourselves though as the vicar had gone to a vicar’s paintballing day and there was nothing up on the notice board – like weddings or christenings. We’d forgotten about Doris and Aggie, the demon flower arrangers. Luckily we heard their screeching voices before they saw us so the gargoylz were able to hide and Max and I began doing a rubbing of Sir Oswald Fitzgubbins. He was a knight with a big nose who died in 1456. Doris and Aggie are so old they probably babysat for him when he was young!

Anyway the demon flower arrangers came in with their arms full of daffodils, took one look at us and started moaning.  They said we were making the place untidy and we were putting them off. They needed all their artistic power to decorate the church. We were just about to complain that we were there first when I noticed Barney sitting on a beam above their heads.  We held our noses and just in time. He made a dreadful pong. Doris and Aggie gave a shriek, threw down their daffodils and ran.

Barney felt a bit mean so he put the flowers in the vases for them. Zack tried to help but he put them in all upside-down!

I’m going to Max’s house tomorrow. We’ve got plans to make a Spy-Boy base out of  giant cardboard boxes.

Categories: Enemy agents, Gargoylz, World Book Day
Tags: Barney Ben Demon Flower Arrangers Gargoylz Max World Book Day Zack

0

The church roof has been empty all week because the gargoylz have been visiting schools for World Book Day.  Did you do anything good yesterday for World Book Day?  Which character did you dress up as?  Ben was Spyboy and I was the evil Eagleman from ‘Spyboy and the Feathery Fiend’. That’s our favourite book at the moment.

Anyway, playtimes haven’t been as much fun without our stony friends. Ben and I tried to play Super special secret agents today but we made a big mistake!  We’d planned an awesome trick on those icky girls, Lucinda, Poppy and Tiffany. All week we’ve been making confetti bombs!  They’re easy peasy. Ben got some of the thin paper bags that his mum puts sandwiches in.  We filled them with all the paper bits from Dad’s paper shredder.  Our plan was to drop them on the girls when they go to have their playtime chat under the honeysuckle. 

So we got in position and when we heard the footsteps we dropped our bombs.  But we didn’t know that the girls had been overtaken at the last minute and our paper bombs splattered all over…. Barry-the Basher-Price!

He was really angry and started rampaging about.  We were sure he was going to find us any minute when all of a sudden it began to rain over his head.  It was Ira using his special power.  Before he could say ‘you’re bashed’ the paper and water turned to papier-mâché and got stuck on his head like a sort of drippy helmet.

It took three dinner ladies and Mr Duster the caretaker to get Barry free.  And then he had to walk round school with pink bits stuck on his stubbly hair because Dad had shredded some pink paper. Mrs Hogsbottom said he’d broken School Rule number 363 – boys must not have shredded pink paper in their hair.

So Ira saved us in the nick of time.

The gargoylz are off again next week to visit more schools but we’re going to spend all weekend with them. We’ve told our mums we’ve got a brass rubbing project at the church. I wonder what we’ll get up to. 

Oh… Toby wants to know if anyone saw them this week? They were in Brighton, Essex and Kent. They hid from the teachers of course!

Categories: Enemy agents, Gargoylz, Pranks, World Book Day
Tags: Barry the Basher Ben Gargoylz Lucinda Max Mr Duster Pranks Toby tricks World Book Day

13

We had the best time ever at Lasershoot!

It was set up like a deserted castle and we all had laser guns in the shape of old fashioned swords.  Max and I were in a team together and we sped off to get away from the girls.  Our aim was to make it all the way from the drawbridge to the battlements without being blasted.  And we had to shoot the enemy teams and collect pretend gold coins on the way. The girls were on a different team and they were such sissies that they made our mums go with them! It was easy to know where they were because they kept screaming really girly shrieks just because it was dark.

We had an awesome time, blasting at monsters and collecting treasure.  But then something really scary happened.   We were creeping round the dark tunnels trying to find the last gold coin when we saw one whizzing along the ground ahead of us.  Every time we got near to it, it whizzed off again.  Then we realised it was being pulled along by a snake.  We thought we had it trapped in an old barrel but when we tipped it up we got covered in spiders! Yuck! It was only when the spiders vanished and we heard some growly chuckles that we realised the gargoylz were there! Eli and Bart had sneaked along for the fun! Eli was the snake of course and Bart had burped up the spiders.  Eli had found the last gold coin and we were able to get our prize – a slap up tea in the cafe.

As we were on our way there, we suddenly remembered that we were going to play a trick on the girls. But before we could think one up we heard a bloodcurdling shriek coming from a dark passageway and Jessica and Arabella came dashing out yelling that a haunted suit of armour was after them! We knew it must be one of the gargoylz.  The girls rushed off into the car park shrieking that they would never go to Lasershoot ever, ever again in their lives. RESULT!  When they’d gone, we saw Rufus – as a skeleton – waving one of his bony arms out of the suit of armour.

When we got our tea we made sure that all three gargoylz got plenty of cookies and doughnuts smuggled to them under the table.  Anyway Lasershoot was cool!

Bart wants me to tell you his favourite joke about Eli.

Q. What is a snake’s favourite food? 

A. Hiss Fingers!

And now Toby wants me to tell you something.  Oh yes!  The gargoylz are part of the World Book Day book.  I don’t think you’d need to be told.  Doesn’t everyone know that?  Anyway he’s insisting so I’m telling you!  And he says I must tell you to look out for the gargoylz next week as they’re going to visit lots of schools all around World Book Day. So if you live in Essex, Kent, Hertfordshire or Sussex you might see a stony paw or tail whizzing out of sight.  But remember, keep it a secret!

Categories: Enemy agents, Gargoylz, Pranks
Tags: Arabella Bart Ben Eli Gargoylz Jessica Max Rufus Toby World Book Day

1

Our Valentine’s day trick worked awesomely – and you won’t believe who we played it on!  Mrs Hogsbottom! 

When it was first playtime we got Theo to sneak a special homemade Valentine card on to her desk.  Mr Duster, the caretaker, nearly caught him but he turned into a kitten just in time and we didn’t see him for hours as Mr Duster scooped him up, gave him a cushion in his broom cupboard and found some tuna for him.  Toby tried to rescue him but Theo said he didn’t want to be rescued as he was enjoying himself. 

Anyway, we didn’t know that was all happening because Ben, Azzan, Ira and I were hiding under Mrs Hogsbum’s window waiting to see what would happen when she read her card.  Ira had written the verse and it said (in wobbly writing as he had to hold the pencil in his beak)…

Yo ho ho
And a bottle of ink
You’ve got a big nose
And you stink.

When Mrs Hogsbum came into her room and read the card she bellowed ‘Outrageous’ and the whole school heard it. Then she insisted on finding out who had written Ira’s card so she stormed round the school making everyone go into the hall and write out the poem so she could check our writing. Even the teachers! In the end she decided that Mr Widget who had sent it! Well, his writing was very wobbly with her breathing down his neck! She yelled ‘Outrageous’ another hundred and fifty times and told Mr Widget that he’d broken School Rule number 636 – Teachers must not send rude Valentine cards to the head teacher! She said he’d have to stay in at playtime!

It’s half term next week and Ben and I are going to Lasershoot.  Arabella and Jessica are going too so we’ve got to think up a really good trick so they won’t go there ever again.

Categories: Enemy agents, Gargoylz, Pranks
Tags: Azzan Ben Gargoylz Ira Max Mr Duster Mr Weedy Widget Mrs Hogsbum Theo Toby

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