Gargoylz Blog

Seaside Surprise

Max — Fri, 18 May 2012 14:20:01 +0000

Nan took us to the seaside last Sunday! It was a lovely sunny day so just right. We went by train and we put our backpacks up on the rack but mine kept jumping about! You’ve guessed it. There was a gargoyle inside. Jelly had sneaked in. When Nan went off to get us a drink, he slipped out and told us that he’d never seen the sea so he had to come. We agreed.
We arrived at Stonegate-on-Sea and we could see straight away that we were going to have a good day. There was a sandy beach and a long pier with fun things to do. My backpack gave a huge wriggle and Jelly called out loudly, ‘Jolly good show!’ I had to quickly pretend it was me and Nan gave me a funny look.
First we went to the beach. Jelly was very excited and jumped out of my backpack
before I could stop him. He scampered off collecting shells. Luckily no one spotted him. The waves were really big so Nan hired us wetsuits and body boards and we went surfing. The water was freezing but we were fine in our wetsuits. I had just done an amazing run right up on to the beach when a purple ball bounced down the beach and landed next to me. It was Jelly using his special power. “I say,” he said. “Surfing looks jolly good fun.” Jelly always talks in a funny way, as if he was in an old film. I took him out with me for a go on my surfboard. He was so terrified he melted into a puddle of purple goo!
Nan had packed an amazing picnic and we stuffed our faces. Jelly loved the chocolate shortcake and ate five pieces. Nan thought it was us, of course. Ben and I wanted to go surfing again but Nan said we had to let our lunch go down first so she took us on the pier. The pier was really long but we rode a special train to the end where there was an amusement arcade. Nan gave us some coins and we set off. Jelly was amazed by the machine where you operate a crane to get a toy. It wasn’t the game he liked but he could see some dinosaur toys inside and he thought they were dino gargoylz like him. Before we could stop him, he’d melted into goo and slipped inside the coin slot. At that moment a little girl came to play the game. Just in time, Jelly froze when he saw the humans. The girl told her mum she was going to win the purple pterosaur – Jelly!
Oh no, Jessica just complained to Mum that I’ve been on the computer for too long and she wants to play her stupid Prancing Princess game. You’ll have to wait till next week to find out what happened!

Mayday mayhem

Ben — Fri, 11 May 2012 15:06:54 +0000

We had a terrible weekend thinking about the horrible maypole dancing we were going to be doing on Monday. It was going to be mega embarrassing, especially as Miss Bleet was making us wear proper maypole dancing shorts! Maypole dancing is really stupid. You have a tall pole and lots of different coloured ribbons handing from the top. Every dancer grabs hold of a ribbon and they all skip in a really silly way in and out of each other and it is supposed to make a pretty pattern down the maypole.
When we got to the village green there were the three class creeps, Lucinda and Poppy and Tiffany in their yucky frilly dresses. The only good thing was that Barry the Basher hadn’t turned up. Max and I mooched off to our places at the end of our ribbons and the school orchestra started up the music. Well, it wasn’t music really, more a load of honking and banging. I saw people stuffing their fingers in their ears. Miss Bleet told the crowd that we would be cleverly weaving in and out of each other and when we’d finished the result would be amazing. Boring! But at least Barry wasn’t there.
Then disaster! At the last minute Barry came along smirking. He said loudly that his mum had promised him a treat if he was the best maypole dancer so he was going to make sure he was the only maypole dancer by the end!
Just as we were about to start we heard a yell. The vicar was standing under a great big tree and it was dropping all its leaves all over him. Everyone rushed over to him (except Barry who decided to climb the maypole to get a better view).
“That’s Abel!” Max whispered to me, pointing at the tree. Our gargoyle friend Abel had come to the rescue. Abel can turn into any sort of tree and this time he was the biggest, leafiest tree in the world. Well, not exactly leafiest as he’d dropped them all on the vicar. While everyone was looking at the vicar being dug out, we suddenly saw that some of our other gargoyle friends were holding ribbons and dancing round the maypole – with Barry still climbing in the middle. Before he could jump down they had covered him in ribbons. By the time everyone came back the gargoylz had disappeared and the maypole was covered in a lovely pattern of ribbons with a big Barry-shaped bulge in the middle that kept shouting ‘Get me out!’ It was great, and by the time Miss Bleet had got him down the pole had fallen over and we couldn’t do any dancing! Thank you, Gargoylz.
We all went off to the fair that had been set up on the green after that – and gave our friends special secret rides on the Waltzer.
Max’s nan has promised us a surprise treat for being so good about the dancing. Can’t wait.

Rain Rain Go Away

Max — Sat, 05 May 2012 09:34:23 +0000

Hasn’t it rained a lot lately? The gargoylz have been very busy keeping the gutters on the church roof free of leaves and working properly so we haven’t seen much of them. And of course every time they got it clear, the wind blew more leaves up there. But yesterday they pulled an amazing prank.
It was playtime and it had stopped raining for once so we were outside. We splashed through the puddles, making sure that Lucinda, Poppy and Tiffany got a good soaking, and then we heard some loud complaining coming from the churchyard. We ran over to the wall to see what was going on and saw Doris and Aggie, the demon flower arrangers. They were telling the vicar that the leaves on the roof were a disgrace. It made the place too untidy! We could see lots of stony eyes gazing down at them from the church porch. Then there was a lot of scuttling as the gargoylz gathered up all the leaves and put them in the gutter just above Doris and Aggie’s heads. They were making a dam. The water was still streaming down off the roof from the last shower so the gutter filled up very quickly. The gargoylz filled their mouths with water and squirted the demon flower arrangers and the vicar right in the face. They’ve all got very good aim. We had to hold our mouths shut so we wouldn’t be heard laughing. The vicar skedaddled into the porch and Doris and Aggie ran off home, screaming.
Then the gargoylz fetched all the leaves and some mud and made themselves a paddling pool. We were just watching them jumping in and out of it when Mrs Hogsbum yelled ‘School Rule number 851. Boys must not hang over the church wall and laugh.’
There’s no school on Monday – Wa-hay! But Ben and I have had a horrible shock. Miss Bleat had all of our year group in the hall for an announcement. She was going on about how it’s the Mayday bank holiday and that there will be a maypole in the middle of Oldacre and that how there was going to be a demonstration of maypole dancing by volunteers. Lucinda, Poppy and Tiffany said they were dancing and Ben and I were just mocking them when Miss Bleat said that we were dancing as well. Our mums had volunteered us and wasn’t it going to be lovely as all of Oldacre would be there to see us. We couldn’t believe it! Barry the Basher thought this was really funny and was going on about Ben and me being girls when Miss Bleat told him that his mum had volunteered him as well. He gulped like a fish and she thought he was having an asthma attack.
We’re off to find the gargoylz. We’re going to need some help to survive Monday.

Amazing Magic!

Ben — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 15:24:47 +0000

The trick we played on Mr Widget was BRILLIANT! He comes into our class to do science every week but we don’t do really cool things like blowing up the classroom. We just do silly little experiments. Last week we had to pour boring liquids into other boring liquids and it made coloured liquid. The girls thought it was great and really pretty and Lucinda (yuk!) chirped, ‘It must be magic!’ Mr Widget told us there’s no such thing as magic. It’s all science. That gave us the idea for the trick.
This week we got Zack to pop invisible. When Mr Widget came in we didn’t give him a chance to do his weedy experiments (potting stupid plants this week to see how they grow – mega boring. How can you watch a plant grow!) We said that we could do magic. Well, we thought Mr Widget was going to explode, which would have been really interesting, and he told us not to be so silly. Then Max said he could really do magic – he could lift his book without touching it. Mr Widget sighed and said he could do that too. He showed us with a ruler as a lever. He lifted the book about a centimetre before it fell off the table and everybody laughed.
Then we said we could do magic without a ruler. I shouted Abracadabra very loudly and the book rose up from the floor and floated round the room. The class clapped but Mr Widget looked really confused and started muttering that it was all done with strings. I said Alakazam, and the book balanced on Mr Widget’s head. He snatched it and examined it, trying to find the strings. Of course there weren’t any – it was all Zack, who managed to stay invisible for the whole lesson and kept making the book sail past Mr Widget’s nose and put him off his planting. He looked a bit pale by the end of the lesson and started mumbling about ghosts. We said there’s no such thing as ghosts, it’s all science. He didn’t look very pleased.
After school we heard him tell Mrs Hogsbum that he wasn’t going to come into our classroom any more as it was probably haunted. Mrs Hogsbum shouted OUTRAGEOUS so loudly down the corridor that three windows cracked!
Anyone out there got any ideas how to make her disappear?

Slime Show

Max — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 15:18:05 +0000

Ben and I have never been so keen to go into assembly but the thought of seeing Mrs Hogsbum do bungee-jumping had us there at top speed. But it turned out to be sooooo boring because she hadn’t gone bungee-jumping after all. Have you ever played ‘Chinese whispers’ where you sit in a line and someone at one end whispers something quickly to their neighbour who passes it on and then by the time it gets down the line the message has really changed? Well this is what happened here. Mrs Hogsbottom had really gone gunge-pumping at the local pond but by the time Lucinda had told Poppy who had told Duncan who had told us, it had changed to bungee-jumping.
Anyway we had to sit through 43 different slides of gunge and slime that Mrs H had pumped out of the pond near the school. Most of us were sitting longing for the bell but there was a sound of clapping and laughing over our heads. Then Max nudged my elbow and pointed upwards. It was the gargoylz! They were hiding behind the wall bars and they seemed to be really enjoying the show. No one else could see them but we spotted their stony tails and pointy ears. At least it put Mrs Hogsbottom in a good mood for the rest of the day.
After school we went to find the gargoylz and were invited to a special Slime Show at the bottom of the graveyard. Gargoylz love slime you see. There were several smelly greeny exhibits for us to admire.
Toby – Green Slime Found Under The Vicar’s Watering Can.
Jelly – Purple Slime (He had just turned into a pile of purple goo.)
Bart – Collage Of Slime And Leaves Found In The Church Gutter.
Eli – Sausage of Slime. (He’d turned into a snake and rolled in some gunge!)
Theo wanted to do an exhibit but being a cat he had to clean his paws all the time so he didn’t look slimy at all. This show was certainly more interesting than Mrs Hogsbum’s.
When we’d finished looking at the exhibition we all had a slimy fight. It was great, especially when Mrs Hogsbum poked her nose over the wall and Rufus got her on the nose with a big slime ball from behind a gravestone. By the time she’d wiped her eyes we had run away!
Look out for next week’s blog. We’re going to play the most humungous trick on Mr Widget who doesn’t believe in magic.

Milking Time!

Ben — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 14:49:27 +0000

We had some eggscellent Easter Eggs – sorry, that was Bart’s idea to spell excellent like that!
This week our mums dragged us along to the local farm. It was our silly sisters’ turn to choose a treat for the school holidays and they wanted to see the fluffy wuffy chicks and lambs!
Max and I did not want to go but when we got there it turned out to be really good. We were asked to help milk the cows! It’s a farm that shows you how things used to be done so we had to do it with our hands and not with a machine. Cows are big! We thought our sisters were going to do it too and spoil the fun but they were too scared of the cows – ha ha! Max was given Daisy and I got Primrose. There was another cow in the corner called Buttercup who looked really sad. The farmer explained that she was a bit old and had stopped giving milk and that maybe she would have to go. It didn’t sound good for Buttercup.
Well at first the milking was bit tricky. It went everywhere. I squirted Ben in the ear – result! – before the farmer came along and told us to do it properly. Then we heard some scuttling and giggling coming from the roof of the barn. We knew what that meant – there were some gargoylz up there. At that moment, there was a crash and Rufus fell into the straw by Primrose’s feet. Rufus is a big gargoyle and the farmer was going to see him at any moment. And we knew he couldn’t use his special power as when he turns into a skeleton, he’s even bigger! Daisy and Primrose started mooing in alarm. Then we heard a whisper above us – ‘Put your fingers in your earz!” It was Cyrus and he was about to sing. We quickly blocked our ears and watched as the cows and the farmer fell asleep to Cyrus’s lullaby.
He jumped down on to Primrose’s back and we could see it was safe to unblock our ears. Rufus explained that they’d wanted to see us so they’d hidden in the car. They thought the farm was a great place but they hadn’t wanted to be seen by humanz. The farmer started stirring so they scampered off to hide behind the milk churns. We carried on milking as if nothing had happened but as Buttercup woke up she began mooing urgently. The farmer went over to see what was the matter and found her udders were full of milk. Cyrus’s song had helped her make milk. The farmer was delighted and said she could stay a bit longer. Cyrus has promised to pop back every day and sing in her ear just before milking.
Back to school next week worse luck. Mrs Hogsbum will start with one of her boring assemblies as usual about what she did in the holidays – with a slide show. Though this one might not be too bad. Lucinda told Poppy who told Duncan who told us that Mrs Hogsbum was going bungee-jumping!

April Fools!

Max — Fri, 06 Apr 2012 13:59:12 +0000

Hope you enjoyed April Fool’s Day. We did, although it didn’t go quite as we expected!
We were determined to get our own back on Bart so we made him a chocolate cake with a difference. It looked like chocolate but it was made of mud! We put all sorts of nasty things in there – slimy leaves, pinecones and twigs. Then we felt a bit guilty so we put jam in the middle. We put the cake on a plate and set off for the church.
Of course it was really busy there as it was Sunday and the vicar saw our cake and his eyes lit up. We had to pretend we’d made it for our gran because he wanted a slice! At last we managed to find a quiet piece of churchyard and waited for Bart to come. The first gargoyle to appear was Jelly so we let him in on the prank. He thought it was ‘jolly exciting’ and went to get Bart for us.
Bart took one look the cake and started gobbling it up. We waited for him to turn green and spit it out but he didn’t! It turns out that gargoylz love mud! Our trick hadn’t worked. Or so we thought. Then Bart got to the jam. He began running round yelling at the top of his voice, steam coming out of his ears. At last our trick had worked. Bart hates jam!
When he’d calmed down, he told us it was a good trick. And nothing makes gargoylz happier than a good trick.

Bart was so happy he came up with three April Fool’s jokes in a row. Here they are.

What monster plays the best April Fool’s tricks? Prankenstein!

What do you get if you cross Halloween with April 1st?
April Ghoul’s Day!

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Noah.
Noah who?
Noah body . . . April Fool’s!

What did you do on April Fool’s day? Hope you get lots of Easter eggs on Sunday!

Yummy Cupcakes!

Ben — Fri, 30 Mar 2012 14:24:01 +0000

Easter holidays! At last!
Here’s the yummy cupcake recipe we promised last week. These are called Gargoyle Cakes because they look like gargoylz. YOU WILL NEED A TAME GROWN UP TO HELP YOU. (You can let them have a cake at the end if they’re good.)
You need
• 115g margarine
• 115g caster sugar
• 115g self-raising flour
• 1tsp baking powder
• 2 large eggs
• cake cases
• a large bowl for mixing
• a metal spoon
• a wooden spoon
• a hand whisk
• a baking tray
For the topping you need…
• Chocolate spread
• A bag of small sweets or sprinkles or whatever you can think of to make a face on your cakes.
What you do
1. Preheat the oven to gas mark 4 (180°C, 350°F).
2. Put cake cases onto a baking tray.
3. Put the butter, sugar, flour, baking powder and eggs in a large bowl and whisk with it up until it’s all mixed in and looks nice and creamy.
4. Spoon the mixture into the cake cases.
5. Get your grown up to pop the tray into the oven.
6. Bake the cakes for 15-20 mins until they have risen and are golden brown.
7. Get your grown up to take them out of the oven. Let the cakes cool down.
8. This is the best bit. Spread some chocolate spread onto the cakes then use the sweets or whatever you’ve got to make a really ugly gargoyle face on each cake!
9. Eat them.

There should be enough for lots of people or one gargoyle called Barney!

Sunday is April Fool’s Day! Don’t forget to play tricks on your family. We are definitely going to play a cool trick on Bart but we haven’t decided what it will be yet…

Mother’s Day Mischief

Max — Fri, 23 Mar 2012 14:51:58 +0000

Getting ready for Mother’s Day was exhausting for Ben and me! We’re glad it only happens once a year.
After reminding you lot, we then totally forgot about it till Ben came round on Saturday. We were going for a bike ride with the gargoylz but Mum stopped us. She wanted to plant some bulbs in a pot for Nan as a Mother’s Day present. Although Nan’s a nan, she’s Dad’s mum too, of course! And Mum wanted us to do it for her as she was busy. Ben and I looked at each other in horror when we realised that we needed to get to the shops and buy gifts for our mums or they’d never let us forget it. So we decided to stuff the bulbs in the pot really quickly and then head off.
Well we’d forgotten we had the gargoylz to help! It took hours to do the job. We had to persuade Ira not to rain too much on the bulbs, stop Zack eating them and make sure that Azzan didn’t set them on fire in his excitement!
At last they were finished and we had five minutes to dash down to the shops before they closed when the phone rang and Mum said it sounded like Mrs Hogsbottom and she wanted to speak to me. I could feel my face going green with shock. And Ben pointed up to the clock. We were going to be too late to buy any presents. We were in big trouble. I picked up the receiver as if it was a poisonous snake.
But it wasn’t Mrs Hogsbum, it was Nan! She’d put on a false voice because she wanted to talk to me in secret. She suggested that Ben and I go round to her and make some cakes to give our mums as their present. Awesome. We didn’t have to get to the shops after all. We set off right away. And good old Nan. Not only did we make cupcakes for our mums – their favourite – we also make cupcakes for us. And the gargoylz of course.
And the next day, all the mums were delighted with their cakes and bulbs, although Nan was a bit surprised to find an extra display of thistles and nettles in her pot. The gargoylz had given her some of their favourite flowers as they were so pleased with the cupcakes!
Barney says we should tell you how to make cupcakes because they’re Dangling Drainpipes Delicious but that will have to wait until next week.

Secret Plan – Trick Bart!

Ben — Fri, 16 Mar 2012 11:36:07 +0000

I’m on one of the computers in the ICT room so I’m secretly putting the blog on early!

We tried all week to play a trick back on Bart. On Saturday morning we saw he was inside the church, nibbling at the flower arrangements. They were made of prickly holly and gargoylz love eating prickles, as we all know. Time for secret plan – Trick Bart. We opened the church door a little and balanced a wet sponge on the top. We knew that he have to push the door open a bit more and then he’d be splatted! So we called to him to come and hear a new joke. But he took the long way round over the roof and just as he appeared on the gutter above us, Aggie and Doris the Demon Flower Arrangers turned up. They scowled at us and threw the door open. The sponge splatted Aggie, bounced off her nose and splatted Doris as well. We ran!

Time for secret plan – Trick Bart number two. We decided we’d better not go back to the church until we were sure that the Demon Flower Arrangers had gone so we left it until the afternoon. We got Cyrus and Jelly to help us. We got them to cover the roof of the church porch with washing up liquid so that when we called Bart over, he’d go skidding on it and land in the hedge.

We stood ready for action but suddenly it began to rain just over the porch. The washing up liquid went all foamy and slid down on top of us! When we’d fought our way out of the bubbles we saw Bart and Ira laughing at us. Ira had used his special power to make it rain. We still haven’t managed to play a trick on Bart. Any ideas?

Hey, don’t forget it’s Mother’s Day on Sunday. We had to explain about giving presents to our mums to the gargoylz as they don’t have mums to give presents to! Barney wasn’t listening properly and thought that we had to give our mum’s press-ups!