Gargoylz Blog » Azzan

Max nearly deafened me when I told him what the awesome surprise was.  He was coming on holiday with me! 

And here we are, staying in a caravan right next to the beach.  It’s great.  We’ve got sand and huge waves – and some gargoyle friends of course. 

Yesterday we entered a sandcastle competition. Max and I made a superspy motor launch with shells for the missile launch buttons and seaweed for missiles – it made Arabella scream when we launched it at her.  The gargoylz all got together behind a rock and made a sand church which they decorated with sand models of themselves.  While we waited for the judges we had ice cream and Azzan got covered in it.  (He got overexcited and melted his with his flames.)

At that moment we saw the judges coming.  The other gargoylz hid but Azzan tripped!  He rolled over and the sand stuck to the ice cream on his stone.  He looked like a sand dragon.  He just had time to sit up with one paw in the air when the judges arrived.  And we won first prize for him!  The gargoylz were really cross until they realised what the prize was.  Free ice cream for the rest of the holiday.      

Bart has a holiday joke for Abel. 

Q. What do trees wear at the seaside?

A. Swimming trunks!

We go back to school next Wednesday, worse luck.  But we have a plan.  Every time we see Mrs Hogsbum we’re going to lean to one side and hold our noses!  We’ll never let her forget her holiday trip to Pisa.


2


Last day of school! Hurray!

The play was awesome!  There were witches and walking trees and ghosts.  And at the end, the baddie, who was called Macbeth, got his head cut off and someone held it up.  It looked really real and dripped with blood and the Basher burst out crying. We didn’t need Ira to make it rain at all but we forgot to tell him so the whole audience got soaked! 

Anyway, the gargoylz really liked it so they invited us to go and watch them put on their version of the play in the churchyard. It was called MacGargoyle. Zack was MacGargoyle and he kept disappearing so it was hard to follow what was going on. Rufus, Eli and Azzan were the walking trees but they only had two leaves and a dandelion between them. We tried not to laugh. MacGargoyle’s head was a balloon with a face drawn on it so when Toby lifted it up, the wind blew it away and it popped on the spire.

Bart has just nudged my elbow.  He wants me to tell you a joke he heard in a school recently.

Q. What do you call an exploding ape?

A. A ba-boom!

We’re off to an amusement park on Monday – hurrah!


4


The trick on Arabella was footballtastic! Zack went invisible and signed her up for the school 5-a-side tournament and she had to play football all day. Mrs Hogsbottom wouldn’t listen when she said it wasn’t her writing, and anyway she’s not called Smelly Arabella. (Zack got over excited when he wrote it!)

Barney has insisted that I give you the recipe for Crackolates.  He says they’re drainpipingly delicious and should be eaten at least once a week.  So here it is.

Crispy Crackolates

Makes 12

Place 12 paper cake cases in muffin tray or on baking tray.

You will need a grown up to help you and -

  • 50g butter
  • 4 tablespoons golden syrup
  • 100g good quality dark/plain chocolate
  • 80g cornflakes
  1. Put butter, syrup and chocolate in large saucepan.  Warning – syrup is very gloopy!
  2. Melt it all very carefully over gentle heat until it’s mixed.
  3. Remove from heat and stir the cornflakes in well.
  4. Place spoonfuls of the mix in the paper cases. Leave to set in fridge.
  5. Eat from the fridge as soon as you come in.  Store in fridge. Crackolates keep for a couple of days – but we bet you won’t have any left. We didn’t.

Azzan says you should eat them four times a week! Jelly says every day!

The gargoylz were very excited yesterday.  They’ve been visiting lots of schools and the children have sent photos of the gargoylz models and pictures they’ve made.  They were amazing.  Toby flew up and decorated the church ceiling with them which really scared the vicar who rushed out in the middle of his sermon shouting ‘monsters!’

We’ve got Sports day on Tuesday.  I bet the gargoylz will do something to make it fun.  Can’t wait to see what.


4

2
Jul
Max’s disaster haircut

Posted by Ben

Posted by Ben Neal

Max has a very interesting haircut at the moment.  Ira and Neb went with him to the hairdressers.  They had a great time playing hide and seek among the towels and curlers but just as the hairdresser was about to use the battery-powered clippers on Max, Ira got excited and made it rain – indoors!  The clippers fizzed and sparked and ran all round Max’s head.  He looks like a spiky tennis ball!

Max is at my house at this moment and we’re having a footie sleepover. More World Cup tonight so we’re going to watch it together in the lounge with the big TV. Barney, Azzan and Jelly are here too.  The others are going to watch the match on the vicar’s television. Not that the vicar has any idea.

Max and I had our own World Cup match at lunchtime yesterday. I scored the winning goal – thanks to Mrs Hogsbum! It was three-all and it was nearly the end of lunchtime. Mrs Hogsbum was just stomping across the playground to shout at some infants when I did a brilliant kick. The ball sailed in the air, bounced off her nose and zoomed straight into the goal. Mrs Hogsbum staggered about a bit and fell on her bottom in a flowerbed. Just then the bell went for afternoon school which meant I had won! I told Mrs H she’d scored the winning goal for me. I don’t know why she was so cross about it. She said I’d broken school rule 765 – boys must not use their head teacher to score winning goals.

We’ve got a special football feast of chocolate crackolates and cola to share with Barney, Azzan and Jelly. And best of all, Arabella’s banned from the lounge. She made a big fuss about it so the gargoylz have promised us they’ll play a trick on her.  And she deserves it. She said that football is silly!


0

16
Apr
The fire breathing cat…

Posted by Max

Blog writer: Agent Black

This has been a great Easter holidays. We’ve done loads of tricks this week.  The best one was the prank we played on the Basher.

On Wednesday we went to see the gargoylz at the church. But just as we started a fantastic game of ‘had’ in the churchyard, the Basher loomed over his garden wall. He was the last person we wanted to see – the gargoylz only just hid in time. He said we had to tell him what we were doing and he climbed over the wall. 

Then I saw Azzan waving at me from behind a grave. Theo was with him and it gave me an idea. I nudged Ben to let him know we had a secret plan and then told Barry that we’d found a fire breathing cat. He scoffed of course and said he’d thump us for wasting his time.

I winked at Theo and he turned into a kitten and gave a sweet miaow. Azzan stayed hidden but just as the Basher bent down to peer at Theo, Azzan blasted a flame over Theo’s head.  Barry was so frightened he vaulted his wall and was inside his house shouting for his mum before you could say ‘dragon!’

 Of course Theo was convinced it was because he’d turned into a fierce tiger but it didn’t matter. The Basher didn’t disturb us again.

Back to school on Monday (boo!) but we’re going to play an awesome trick on super annoying Lucinda Tellingly (Yay!) We haven’t forgotten she was going to tell on us about the rainforest.


8

29
Jan
The photo trick!

Posted by Max

Hello, Agent Black reporting!

Remember Ben and Azzan’s photo trick?  It should have been awesome.  All the pictures went up in the hall before school. Soon there was a deafening shriek. We put our earplugs in and rushed into the hall on our superspy propelling machines – codename feet. Arabella was yelling her head off because everyone was laughing at her picture. That is until they came across this really gruesome child holding a watering can over his head.  It was voted most ugly.  And then it turned out that Arabella had brought it in and it was Ben!  We had to hide in the boys’ toilets until the mocking stopped.  Barry the Basher Price was the worst.  He’s been on about it all week.  Until today.

Today I took my telescope (best Christmas present in the history of best Christmas presents) into school. Ben and I hid behind the bins with Toby and Zack and poked it over the top. We took it in turns to spy on Lucinda Tellingly picking her nose. But then the Basher snatched it and ran off! He was about to use it as a cricket bat when Zack popped invisible and snatched it back. It was great seeing the look on the Basher’s face when the telescope danced off in mid-air. He didn’t eat any of his chips at lunchtime. He just sat there muttering about the Telescope of Terror.

We’re going to play with the gargoylz all day tomorrow. The choir will be practising for a wedding in the church and Toby says he’s got a spectacular trick to play on them.

We’ll tell you all about it next time . . .


0

22
Jan
Soaptastic superspy!

Posted by Ben

Hi! Ben Neal soaptastic superspy here.

Remember Miss Bleet’s lunchbox and us swapping the grated cheese for grated soap? Well, Miss Bleet foamed at the mouth all afternoon. Mrs Hogbum thought she had some dreadful disease and sent her home before we all got it. Trouble is, the trick didn’t work quite as well as it should have done because Mrs H. took us for the rest of the day and said ‘outrageous’ two hundred and fifty-seven times.

Azzan is helping me go through some old pictures of me as a baby. (It’s very kind of him but he’s singed half of them!) We’ve got to take one of our baby photos into school next week for everyone to guess who’s who.  Azzan has just found a gruesome picture of my sister Arabella when she was one. She was so ugly!  Of course she’s even uglier now.

 Anyway we’ve thought of a cool trick.  I’m going to take the picture of Arabella in.  No one will guess it’s me because it isn’t!  And if Miss Bleet complains, I’ll just give her my innocent wide eyed smile.  It worked on Mrs Simmer today at lunch – she gave me extra jam on my rice pudding. 

Can’t wait to see Arabella’s face when she catches sight of the photo in the school hall.  Must remember to take earplugs to school on Monday so I can put them in when she starts shrieking. I’m off to phone Max and tell him all about it.

We’ll report back to you all next week . . .


5


Happy New Year!

I had the most AWESOME Christmas ever. The best bit was the look on my sister Jessica’s face when she saw my giant plastic spider on top of the Christmas tree. I skateboarded straight round to Ben’s house to tell him how loudly she’d screamed. When I got there I skidded on the snow and landed on top of the snowman he’d made in his front garden. It got squashed flat so we called for the gargoylz and Toby, Barney and Azzan came and helped us make another one.

It took a long time because Azzan kept breathing fire and melting it. In the end Toby sat on him and he wasn’t very happy. Then Ben’s mum poked her head out of the window and the gargoylz had to hide in the wheelie bin. She asked us to sweep the snow off the front path and she said if we did it straight away we could have some chocolate chip cookies that she’d just baked. Then she said our snowman looked a bit odd. I suppose she’d never seen one with a dragon’s tail and wings before.

As soon as she’d gone we asked Azzan to breathe all over the path. He cheered up straight away and melted the snow at super speed. Ben’s mum couldn’t believe it! We got extra cookies – and shared them with the gargoylz, of course.

Must stop now. Ben and I are going to put the Christmas spider in Jessica’s knicker drawer. We’ll let you know what happens next week!


2

©Random House Children's books. Terms & Conditions | Privacy Policy
This site requires JavaScript, Internet Explorer 7+ or Firefox 2+.