We had a gargoyletastic weekend! We got the gargoylz together in my bedroom. Rufus, Jelly and Neb – our new friends – had some great ideas for pranks to play. The trouble was they started arguing about which one to do first. And they were so loud that my annoying sister Arabella came storming in to tell us off. For one horrible moment we thought she was going to spot the gargoylz.

Max quickly stood in front of Rufus, and Neb used his special power to blend in with my duvet. But Jelly was so alarmed that he turned into a ball of gloopy jelly on the floor. Arabella stepped right in the middle of him with her bare feet. It was so funny to see her slipping about trying to get him off – and she got even more annoyed when we started laughing.

Then we got going with our pranks.  We played loads but I’ll tell you about the best one.  Mum and Dad were sitting in the garden having a drink.  Neb used his secret power to blend in with the grass and went over to them.  He sucked up all the tea in their cups when they weren’t looking and put muddy water in instead.  They both took a big gulp and spat it out all over each other.  Trouble was, they heard Max and me laughing and thought we’d done it.

I’m writing this on Arabella’s laptop as mine’s gone funny ever since Bart burped spiders on it. It’s gone to be fixed. Arabella doesn’t know I’m in her room. Or does she? The door’s opening. Help!

Categories: Enemy agents, Gargoylz, Pranks
Tags: Arabella Bart Gargoylz Jelly Neb Pranks Rufus

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Ben nearly got away with hiding in the stockroom last Friday. It would have been okay if he hadn’t knocked a box of rulers on to the floor just as Miss Bleet opened the stockroom door. When she’d stopped shaking and shrieking about ghosts she spotted him hiding on the top shelf. He had to stay in and clean all the paint pots. By the time she came back to check he’d done it properly he was covered in green paint. She started shrieking about monsters and scuttled off to the staffroom. 

 When we told Bart later he said it reminded him of a monster joke and we had to tell you all.  So here goes…

 What’s green and goes up and down?

A  monster on a trampoline!

Then he told us he’d been to a school recently and heard some great jokes.  Here’s two of them.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Doctor.

Doctor who?

That’s right!

Why did the toilet roll roll down the hill?

To get to the bottom!

Must stop now and put a toothbrush and a pair of pants in my rucksack. I’m going to sleep over at Ben’s for the whole weekend. We’re going to play tricks with the gargoylz. I wonder what they’ve got planned. See you next week.

Categories: Gargoylz, jokes
Tags: Bart Ben Gargoylz jokes Max Miss Bleet

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Blog writer: Agent Black

Mrs Hogsbum is back – worst luck.  She couldn’t wait for a flight so she hired a donkey all the way to Oldacre School.  Don’t know how it managed to swim the Channel!

Up early this morning and I’ve just played a great trick on my annoying little sister, Jessica. Mum’s going to call her for breakfast at any moment and I’ve swapped her boiled egg for rubber egg I got from the joke shop. It looks very realistic. She’s going to get so cross when she can’t break the shell.

Last Friday at computer (boring) club I clicked off the blog just as Mr Widget came up. Unfortunately he caught sight of a picture of Toby on the blog page so I had to pretend that I was researching Gargoyles of the World. Mr Widget said the picture looked nothing like a real gargoyle. He’d have a fit if he knew the truth – which he never will.

Anyway Toby overheard what Mr Widget said about him so he decided to play a trick on him.  He got Zack to pop invisible and go and borrow some green food colouring from the vicar’s kitchen. He put it in Mr Widget’s tea, so when Mr Widget drank it he went green all round his mouth. We went and told Mrs Hogsbum. She didn’t believe us until she came along and saw him. She told him he’d broken school rule number five hundred and thirty-two – teachers must not go green without permission. Computer club finished early – good result!

And then we told Bart all the jokes and he cheered up immediately so double good result.

Oh dear! Dad’s on the warpath. It turns out that Jessica hit the rubber egg so hard it bounced out, hit Dad’s spoon and splattered him with cornflakes and milk. For some reason they think it’s my fault. Got to go!

Categories: Gargoylz, Pranks, jokes
Tags: Bart Gargoylz Max Mr Weedy Widget Pranks Toby Zack

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School has been wonderful! Mrs Hogbum is stuck out in Mongolia because of the volcano that’s erupting in Iceland. She can’t fly back. Obviously she forgot to pack her broomstick when she went on holiday. Ha ha! The volcano will be in such trouble. It’s probably broken school rule number one million and five: volcanos must not erupt and stop head teachers getting back for the start of term.

Anyway, it’s 4 o’clock and we’re in the ICT room. The bell went half an hour ago. Unfortunately our mums signed us up for computer club with Mr Weedy Widget! They said it would make us behave sensibly after we got into trouble for making Lucinda shriek in English. Well it’s not our fault if she does that when she sees a skeleton.  Good old Rufus. He loomed up outside the classroom window right by her desk. It was awesome.

We tried to get out of computer club. Bart wanted us to go and play with all the gargoylz after school and he looked so sad when we said we couldn’t that we were determined not to let him down. When the bell rang I told Miss Bleet that I had the Mercury measles – like the Martian measles but with bigger spots – and Max said he was allergic to mice, especially wireless ones. Miss Bleet looked like she believed us but then Mrs Hogsbottom stalked past. She told us we were being outrageous and breaking School Rule number two hundred and seventeen – Boys must not pretend to have impossible diseases to get out of computer club.

So now we’re meant to be learning how to do research on the Internet but I’m secretly blogging instead. Max is looking up jokes and acting as superspy look out. He’s found some great jokes for Bart. That should cheer him up. Trouble is which one would work best? See what you think.

Q.  On which day do monsters eat people?
A.  Chewsday.

Q.  What is a sea monster’s favorite dish?
A.  Fish and ships.

Q. What’s big, heavy, furry, dangerous and has 16 wheels?
A.  A monster on roller-skates.

Let us know which one you like best.

Ow! Max just kicked me under the table. Here comes Mr Widget…

Categories: Gargoylz, jokes
Tags: Bart Ben computer club jokes Lucinda Max Miss Bleet Mr Weedy Widget Mrs Hogsbum Rufus volcano

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Blog writer: Agent Black

Poor Ben! He nearly didn’t get his hot cross buns! He was hiding in the wardrobe when he noticed an awful smell. For a moment he thought that Barney had sneaked in and made a bottom burp. Then he realised he was sitting on his dirty football socks that he’d stuffed in there instead of in the washing basket. He held his breath but it got too much and he began to choke. His mum found him straight away.

It was a good weekend for tasty food as it was Easter! We got lots of yummy chocolate eggs and Gran’s hot cross buns were scrumptious. We took some to the gargoylz and Rufus ate six! He said that when he uses his secret power he’s nothing but bones so he needed to fatten up! Then on Sunday, Ben and I made an Easter Egg hunt for the gargoylz. We bought lots of mini eggs with our pocket money and hid them all round the bottom of the garden. Then we invited the gargoylz over.

The hunt was going well when we heard Jessica coming. The gargoylz all froze in terror – except for Jelly who got so confused that he hopped backwards and forwards between our legs. Jessica took one look and ran inside, screaming to Mum that there was a bouncing dinosaur in the garden. Which was very silly of her because everyone knows that pterodactyls are lizards and not dinosaurs at all.

We carried on with the hunt and then we had a huge chocolate feast. Bart rubbed his tummy and told us that it was eggscellent, eggsciting and eggstraordinary! Groan! And we’ve still got another week of school holiday so who knows what we can get up to!

Keep reading, Gargoylz fans!

Categories: Gargoylz
Tags: Barney Bart Ben Easter Eggs Gargoylz Jelly Jessica Max Rufus

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Agent Ben Neal reporting and in training.  Tonight Max and I have a very important mission.  It’s Sport Relief and we’re going to have a sponsored hop.  But it’ll be a sponsored hop with a difference.  We’re going to hop for five minutes straight and see how many jokes we can tell at the same time.  And every joke has got to be a sport joke…  We’ll let you know how we get on.

But first – Bart, who thinks he is the master of jokes, has insisted I pass on his advice about how to warm up for an event like this.

1. Eat lots of yummy cookiez to build your strength.
2. To protect your voice, don’t answer any questionz in class.  (All jokes have to be said out loud.)
3. Play some awesome trickz to get yourself in the mood.  Burping up spiderz near girlz is a good one.
4. Eat more cookiez to keep up your strength.
5. Eat even more cookiez.

 We’ll tell you how it went next week.

Categories: Gargoylz
Tags: Bart Gargoylz jokes Sport Relief

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Agent Neal reporting. I’m on the computer at school and I’m meant to be finding out some boring old stuff about ‘Farming in the Swiss Alps’ but Max and I have got something much more important to do – secret plan: catch up with our blog.

Sorry you didn’t get to hear Bart’s joke. He’s says we must start with it this week so here it is…

Q.  How do you spot a modern spider?

A.  He doesn’t have a web, he has a website!

Bart rolled about on his fat tummy for five minutes after telling us that.

On Wednesday the gargoylz called us into the church after school. They said they had a surprise. We’d just sat down on a pew and Ira started to tell us a long story about when he went to sea on his pirate ship. (Ira has never been to sea in his life!)  

Suddenly Barney came running down the aisle saying it was snowing! He dashed for the door, yelling “Time for a snowball fight.” Max and I were really excited and we charged after him. When we got outside we found there wasn’t any snow – on the ground that is. The gargoylz had played a trick on us.  But there was something even better –  a big plate of round, coconutty, chocolately cakes.  Barney told us they’re called Coconut Snowballs. He got the recipe from one of the vicar’s magazines.

And they were awesome!

I can hear Miss Bleet wittering on to Lucinda Tellingly about how hard she’s worked. Yuck!

Now she’s coming over here. Better switch screens before she sees this.

Categories: Gargoylz, Pranks
Tags: Bart Ben Coconut Snowballs Gargoylz Ira Max snow

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Max here. I’m on Dad’s laptop so better be quick because I’m not really meant to use it. He made such a fuss when I got crisps stuck in the keyboard. Grown-ups are so silly sometimes.

I’d better explain why Bart looked so worried when he turned up at the classroom window last Friday. We found out when school was over. He was waiting for us in the churchyard. It turned out he couldn’t find any of the gargoylz anywhere so he’d come to ask us to help him look for them.

Agent Black and Agent Neal instantly leapt into action. Secret Plan: Find the Gargoylz.

We peered up at the steeple, poked round the gravestones and even stuck our heads into the church. Of course we pulled them out again double quick when we saw Aggie and Doris, Demon Flower Arrangers, inside.

There was no sign of the gargoylz anywhere. What had happened to our little stony friends?  Had they fallen down a well or got stuck in Mrs Hogsbottom’s cupboard or been kidnapped by aliens?  

Then Bart said we should look in the trees in the corner of the churchyard. Ben and I zoomed along and – SPLAT! We fell on our faces in a pool of oozy mud. When we’d got the mud out of our ears we heard a lot of gargoyle chuckling. We looked up and saw Toby, Theo, Zack and Ira laughing at us from the trees. They’d made a mud trap and covered it with leaves. It had all been Bart’s idea! We told him it was an awesome trick.

Then Bart said he had something even better – a new joke. How do you spot…—  Whoops! Dad’s coming. Tell you next week!

Categories: Gargoylz, Pranks
Tags: Bart Demon Flower Arrangers Ira Max mud Theo Toby Zack

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Ben Neal, superspy, here at the classroom computer.

Miss Bleet couldn’t believe it when she saw the beetle on her desk. She was wittering on about how it must be a homing beetle when Zack popped invisible and dropped it down her back. She had stopped screaming by home time.

Max and I have had an awesome footie competition this week.  It was Superspies v. Gargoylz. Max and I won on Monday night and the gargoylz won on Tuesday night – but that’s only because they cheated. We’d told Zack he couldn’t go invisible but he forgot and scored five goals.  So Wednesday’s match was the decider. But we’d only just got started when the Basher turned up. He’d seen something going on from his bedroom window.

The gargoylz just managed to hide in time but Max and I were too slow. Barry stormed over, snatched the ball and lobbed it up onto the school roof. Then he stood there laughing at us. Of course, getting your ball back from a high place is no problem when you’ve got secret gargoyle friends, but Barry doesn’t know that we have. And we couldn’t ask them to get it with him standing there. But then suddenly he shouted that there was a snake in the grass and he ran away! 

Good old Eli. His secret power is brilliant. Toby flew up and got the ball and we carried on with the match. At ten-all we decided to call the whole thing a draw!

Bart has just appeared at the window. He’s looking worried. I wonder what he wants. We’ll let you know next week . . .

Categories: Enemy agents, Gargoylz, Pranks
Tags: Barry the Basher Bart Eli football Gargoylz Miss Bleet snake Toby Zack

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Hello, Ben here!

NEWS FLASH – OLDACRE PRIMARY SCHOOL CLOSED DUE TO SNOW

That came on the radio on Monday and we haven’t been to school all week. Awesome!

Anyway, I expect you’ve been wondering what happened when Jessica found the Christmas spider in her knicker drawer. We were just making a snow fort at the bottom of the garden when we heard a yell. We ran in to see the fun. Big mistake.

It wasn’t Jessica who’d found the Christmas spider – it was Mrs Black. I don’t know how she knew it was us who’d put it there! When she’d finished telling us off, she noticed the snow prints we’d left on the new carpet in the hall . . . and up the stairs . . . and on the landing. We scarpered – leaving a load more prints on the way down!

Anyway, we were still determined to get Jessica so we asked Bart to come and burp some spiders into her toy box in the lounge. But it wasn’t Jessica who found the spiders – it was Mrs Black again! She doesn’t like spiders, so she’s locked herself in her bedroom and won’t come out, even though Max has promised her there are no spiders anymore – which is true. They’ve all disappeared, of course, like Bart’s burped spiders always do.

School’s open on Monday and we’ve got an idea for a snowtastic trick to play on the teachers. It’s going to be brilliant! We’ll tell you all about it next week. Now we’re off to make plans with the gargoylz . . .

P.S. Bart’s just made up a great joke and he can’t stop laughing.

Q: What do you call a hot snowman?

A: A puddle

Categories: Enemy agents, Gargoylz, Pranks
Tags: Bart burping Gargoylz Jessica jokes Mrs Black school snow spiders

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