We had model disaster – well almost!

By the time the gargoylz had finished helping us, our model of St Mark’s Church was blackened round the edges (Azzan), missing three windows (Neb poked his nose in) and had the top of the spire bitten off (Zack thought it was made of chocolate!)

Luckily it was big enough for Cyrus to hide in. We struggled into the classroom with it because Cyrus is very heavy. Miss Bleet told us we’d have to do it all again even though we told her it was what the church looked like just after the war when it had been bombed. Then we said that if everyone listened carefully they’d hear the choir singing inside. This was Cyrus’s cue. Ben and I just managed to get our fingers in our ears as Cyrus struck up with ‘All things bright and beautiful’ and everyone fell asleep. Ben and I went round hiding their pencils.

When they all woke up, the bell for playtime went and Miss Bleet found she’d written a very nice comment on our reports about our imaginative church – Toby had copied her writing when they were all asleep.

We’re a bit worried about next week. Our mums have said that we’re having a great outing and that it’s going to be educational!  That sounds bad!

We weren’t going to let her get the better of us.  We thought we’d wait a few days until she’d forgotten all about it and then yesterday we played a wonderful trick.  Swotty Arabella had worked really hard on a project about barometers.  (They hang on the wall and tell you what the weather’s going to be like – boring!)   On our way to school, she went on and on about how it was the best project ever and she was the brainiest girl in the school and her teacher would be really pleased with her when she whipped it out of her bag.  Little did she know that we had a prank in store for her.

When we got to the playground, she put her bag down and started chatting with her horrible friends.  Barney was hiding in a nearby hedge and he made one of his best smells.  The girls all ran away coughing and spluttering, leaving their bags behind.  Quick as a flash, Toby grabbed the project and flew away with it.  Meanwhile Cyrus quickly shredded some paper with his claws and shoved that in her bag instead so it would look as if she’d torn her project into pieces.  Then we all went into our classes.

Soon there was a humungous shriek from Arabella down the corridor.  I jumped up and told Miss Bleet that my sister needed me.  Max and I dashed out of the door to where Toby was waiting for us with the project. We grabbed it and ran along to Arabella’s classroom.  We peered through the glass door at her.  She was having a tantrum, chucking shredded paper everywhere as she ransacked her bag looking for her project.  Her teacher looked cross.

I knocked at the door and asked in my sweetest voice if Arabella had lost anything.  Then I held up the project.  Arabella went purple and shrieked that I had stolen it.  It was great because her teacher got really cross then and told Arabella she should be grateful to have such a lovely brother. 

Max and I did the biggest high five ever outside! 

It’s Valentine’s day on Monday which is really yucky.  Wonder if we can play a special Valentine’s trick on someone?

The gargoylz said that as we had ten minutes before she opened her eyes, they could help us get everything ready and give her a big surprise. Well, she certainly got a big surprise! We put all the ingredients in a bowl and Neb jumped in and snorkelled round. He said he was mixing it all up but he squirted most of it round the room. By the time Max’s nan woke up there was egg on the ceiling, butter all over the bread bin and flour in the cooker. In the end she made the muffins and we ate them – at least, we ate as many as we could before the gargoylz got their stony paws on them!

This Saturday is going to be soooo boring. Max and I have to go and watch Jessica and Arabella take part in some sort of girly dance show. Hold on – maybe if the gargoylz come along it won’t be so bad…

We’d just arrived and were making for the Cliff Drop Ride when disaster struck.  Barry Price, also known as the Basher, codename: School Bully, came round the corner.

He got in the queue behind us and dropped ice cream down our backs while we waited for our go. (Luckily it was a hot day)  Then he pelted us with peanuts when we were on the airplanes. We got our own back later though – thanks to the gargoylz.

We all climbed aboard the Supersonic Speedcoaster – the one that turns you upside down and has 15 twists. As the ride began, Cyrus sang quietly into Barry’s ear. He fell asleep straight away and missed the whole ride. And it was awesome. We were nearly sick it was so great. When we got to the end Barry woke up and couldn’t understand why the man was telling him to get out. Barry insisted the ride hadn’t started yet and had a tantrum. In the end his mum had to drag him away.

We had a wonderful time after that. The gargoylz’ favourite was the storybook slow river ride. While the boats went round they all hid among the exhibits. We heard lots of happy kids coming out talking about the stony models that squirted their parents with water! Gargoylz’ tricks are awesome!

Uh oh! Arabella’s coming. I bet she wants to show me all her photos of the dolls’ museum. Boring. Got to hide! 

I’ve got to tell you what happened to Max and me last Friday after school.  We were about to rush home to watch the World Cup match when Mrs Hogbottom came marching into the class and said that everyone who was signed up for the basket weaving club with Mr Widget should go to the hall. Well that wasn’t us!  Max and I made for the door to go home, laughing about the silly basket weavers, when Mrs Hogsbum asked us where did we think we were going?  Our mothers had signed us up for the club. We were going to miss the match!

There was nothing to be done.  Mr Widget told us to make dog baskets to sell at the school fair. We decided to make a mouse basket instead so we’d finish and at least get home for half time.

Then we had a brilliant idea. Max went to the window and called the gargoylz over. He asked Cyrus to sing everyone else to sleep so that we could escape.

But then double disaster! Cyrus didn’t give us any warning to put our fingers in our ears and we heard him sing and both fell asleep as well. When we woke up it was one minute to four. We wouldn’t get home for kick off.

And now I’m going to surprise you because Mr Weedy Widget did a wonderful thing, for the first time ever. When he woke up he yawned and told us he had a surprise for us.  He moved aside all the wicker and straws to reveal a TV!  And we watched the match!

Tonight is going to be awesome. England are playing Algeria and I’m going to Max’s house for a sleepover so we can watch it together on the TV in his bedroom. We’ve told the gargoylz they can watch with us but NO TRICKS!

Max’s dad wasn’t too pleased when he had to change all his clothes because they were covered in milk and cornflakes. I don’t know why Max got into trouble. After all, he only gave his sister the rubber egg.  It was Jessica who hit their dad with it.

Talking of sisters, we played a great trick on my sister, Enemy Agent Arabella: also known as Manic Monitor.  Arabella snitched on Max and me just because we were doing an experiment at school. We wanted to know whether Mrs Hogsbum’s prize cactuses would grow better if they got fed on custard. They didn’t – they went floppy and died.

Mrs Hogsbottom didn’t listen when we said it was an important scientific experiment and she made us water all the plants in the school. It took ages.

So we decided to get our own back on Arabella. We asked Ira to rain on her. Then we hid and watched with Eli and Cyrus. It was awesome! As soon as she stepped out at playtime Ira flapped his wings and a little black cloud sprinkled drops of cold rain on her head. She started screaming. Mrs Plod, one of the dinnerladies, came up to see what all the fuss was about and Arabella complained that it was raining and said everyone should go in. Mrs Plod looked up at the blue sky and told her not to be silly. When she’d gone, Ira flapped his wings again! This time Arabella was soaked. She bellowed for Mrs Plod and got told off for pouring water over herself. Eli and his snakes laughed so loudly I thought we’d get found out.

I’m writing this on the classroom computer at lunchtime. I think I can hear Miss Bleat coming. I’ll hide in the stock cupboard. She’ll never find me there.

We had meant to play a trick on Arabella when we suddenly remembered what day it was yesterday! So we forgot all about silly sisters and spent the week planning for it. And it was worth it.

Yesterday was the last day of school – and APRIL FOOLS DAY! The gargoylz were so excited. It’s almost better than Christmas for a gargoyle because they play even more tricks than usual. We had to go to school but it didn’t matter because Max and I had thought up the most fantastic trick ever for the gargoylz to do.

 We decided to turn the school hall into a rainforest. (As we’ve been doing a project about rainforests we thought it would be quite educational.) First of all Cyrus went round the school singing everyone to sleep, including the teachers. He had to keep going up and down the corridors as his power doesn’t last very long. While he was doing that, me and Max and the gargoylz got soil and plants from the playground and decorated the whole hall. The wall bars made excellent trees when we’d put ivy all over them, and you couldn’t see the floor at all. It was completely covered in earth and leaves (and so was the piano). Our rainforest looked fantastic, especially when Ira flapped his wings to make it rain and Azzan breathed fire and turned it all into steam.

Then Max and I sneaked back to class as everyone woke up. The bell rang for the end of term assembly and we all had to go to the hall. We remembered to look surprised and not giggle when we went in and joined the rest of the kids who were gawping in amazement at the steamy green forest. Then Toby flapped past, wearing one of the vicar’s bright holiday shirts and looking like a cockatoo. Eli turned into a snake and slithered about – making all the silly girls shriek. Bart burped up some of his best spiders and Theo tried to turn into a rainforest tiger. Zack popped invisible and ran around with some paper butterflies. The other gargoylz made loud monkey noises.

Mrs Hogsbottom rushed in, slipped on the rainforest floor and fell flat on her face! She looked very funny covered in mud and shrieking ‘Outrageous!’ She was just about to think up a terrible punishment for the whole school as we had broken school rule number six hundred and seventy-four – children must not make rainforests on school property – when Barney came to the rescue. He did one of his stinkiest bottom burps ever, and we all ran out. And just in time as Lucinda Tellingly was telling Mrs Hogsbum that she thought Max and I had done the forest. She even said it was the sort of horrible thing we’d do.  We won’t forget that, Lucinda!

When we saw the gargoylz after school we all agreed it was the best April Fools Day in the history of best April Fools Days.

I’m going to meet Max now. His gran – codename:supercook – is going to make hot cross buns as it’s Good Friday!  Uh oh. I can hear someone squelching along the landing. Mum’s been in the bathroom. Now she’s coming to find me. Signing off in a hurry and going to hide in the wardrobe.

Max and I rushed off to the church really early last Saturday morning to see what prank Toby was going to play on the choir. Toby was waiting for us in the porch and Cyrus was with him. They wouldn’t tell us what the trick was going to be. It was a surprise.

We all crept into the church and hid behind the font. The choir were sitting in rows, warbling some soppy song about love (yuck!) for a wedding (double yuck!). Cyrus crept up behind them and started singing along – and you all know what happens when Cyrus uses his special power! Max and I stuffed our fingers in our ears, but the whole choir slowly fell asleep and slid off their seats! 

Then Toby and Cyrus started running round putting animal masks on everyone.  They said they’d borrowed them from the dressing up box at school.  When the choir woke up there was a terrible panic. One of the elephants started a stampede for the door, followed by three zebras and a newt.

Toby said it was better than watching TV.

Signing off now. Max has just arrived. We’ve decided to make a surprise cake for Lucinda Tellingly Supersneak. It’s going to have something very special in it. (Well, she shouldn’t have said our model of a T-rex looked more like a pigeon with measles.)

More next week . . . Hee hee hee!

The teacher snow trap was brilliant…

We arrived at school early on Monday and got Eli and Cyrus to pile up loads of snow on the roof just above the staffroom window. The plan was that we’d throw a snowball at the window and when one of the teachers stuck their head out to see who’d done it, Eli and Cyrus would give them a snow shower.

Brilliant plan, Agent Black, I hear you say.

Well, Ben threw the snowball and we got ready to watch the fun. The window flew open and Mrs Hogsbum stuck her beaky nose out! I don’t know how she knew we’d done it but she went purple and told us it’s against school rule number three hundred and six to knock on the staffroom window with a snowball. She was in the middle of a very loud ‘Outrageous!’ when Eli and Cyrus pushed the whole pile of snow down on top of her head. Awesome avalanche! She looked very funny with icicles sticking out of her hair.

The snow’s all gone now but there’s plenty of other ways to play tricks. I’ve just noticed that Miss Bleet has left her lunchbox open. Ben and I are off to swap her grated cheese for grated soap! Can’t wait to see what happens. We’ll tell you next week!

See you then fellow agents…