We had an awesome day on Sunday – a whole day of footie training.  It was run by Oldacre Town FC and we actually played on their pitch.  Ben and I had just started dribbling practice when someone else turned up – Barry Price.  And he’d brought his four cousins with him.  They barged about with the Basher, crashing into kids and spoiling everything.

Then we had a five-a-side competition.  Ben and I were in a team with Duncan and two boys we didn’t know.  We won our first match one-nil – Ben scored a dazzler – but then disaster struck.  We had to play Barry’s team with the Basher in goal.  They all flattened us like bulldozers.  They should have been red carded but the ref was scared of them.

Then the gargoylz came to the rescue. It was nearly the end of the match and we were five goals down and we heard a whisper from under the away bench.  It was Zack and Jelly.  They’d come to watch and realised we needed an emergency gargoyle trick.

Before we knew what had happened Jelly had turned into a squashy ball.  Zack popped invisible and suddenly the Jelly ball was sailing towards the goal.  Zack must have thrown him!  Barry thought it was the real ball and dived to save it. It got stuck to his hands and his cousins all rushed up to pull it off him. While they were doing that Ben and I both scored a hat trick and won the match six-five! And the best thing was that Barry and his cousins got told off for playing with a baby’s toy.

We were really helpful at the end of the match. We unstuck the ‘baby’s toy’ and said we’d get rid of it. The Basher and his cousins all scowled at us and we managed not to laugh as we took Jelly away.

Right got to go and find some tins of food.  Mrs Hogsbottom has ordered us to bring things in for the harvest festival next week.  She and Mr Widget are going to make a display and then all the food is going to be given to the old people in the village.  Mrs Hogsbum has told us that anyone who doesn’t do this will be breaking School Rule Number 836 – Children must not forget to bring in food for the Harvest Festival when the head teacher has ordered them to do it.

Whoops!  Here comes Miss Bleet and I haven’t found out what a tea cosy is.

We had a scare on Wednesday.  We were just going home when Miss Bleet reminded us about a nature project on birds that we should have done during the holidays. Boring. We were supposed to give them in on Thursday.  Of course Max and I had forgotten all about it.  We were just wondering if she’d ban us from playing football all term when the gargoylz came to our rescue.  They sneaked home with us and rolled in Dad’s vegetable patch.  When they were really sticky with earth and squashed tomatoes, they covered themselves in feathers.  Zack had brought along all the vicar’s pillows and we got the feathers from there.  Then the gargoylz climbed up in the apple tree and pretended to be birds while we took photos.  Toby flew about so we got some video shots too.  Then we quickly put them on a powerpoint and called it Unusual Birds of Oldacre.

Miss Bleet was a bit puzzled as she didn’t recognise all the types of bird, especially the Tobybird that seemed to wave at the camera, but she told our mums how well we’d done and they’ve signed us up for a footie training day on Sunday as a reward.  Can’t wait.

PS Bart has a joke…

Q. What is orange and sounds like a parrot?

A. A carrot!

Well, he thought it was funny!

Max has a very interesting haircut at the moment.  Ira and Neb went with him to the hairdressers.  They had a great time playing hide and seek among the towels and curlers but just as the hairdresser was about to use the battery-powered clippers on Max, Ira got excited and made it rain – indoors!  The clippers fizzed and sparked and ran all round Max’s head.  He looks like a spiky tennis ball!

Max is at my house at this moment and we’re having a footie sleepover. More World Cup tonight so we’re going to watch it together in the lounge with the big TV. Barney, Azzan and Jelly are here too.  The others are going to watch the match on the vicar’s television. Not that the vicar has any idea.

Max and I had our own World Cup match at lunchtime yesterday. I scored the winning goal – thanks to Mrs Hogsbum! It was three-all and it was nearly the end of lunchtime. Mrs Hogsbum was just stomping across the playground to shout at some infants when I did a brilliant kick. The ball sailed in the air, bounced off her nose and zoomed straight into the goal. Mrs Hogsbum staggered about a bit and fell on her bottom in a flowerbed. Just then the bell went for afternoon school which meant I had won! I told Mrs H she’d scored the winning goal for me. I don’t know why she was so cross about it. She said I’d broken school rule 765 – boys must not use their head teacher to score winning goals.

We’ve got a special football feast of chocolate crackolates and cola to share with Barney, Azzan and Jelly. And best of all, Arabella’s banned from the lounge. She made a big fuss about it so the gargoylz have promised us they’ll play a trick on her.  And she deserves it. She said that football is silly!

We missed the England match kick off last week because Zack popped invisible and ran off with the remote control.  The next thing we knew, we were watching a shopping channel selling make up!  Then we heard my annoying little sister stomping up the stairs. The gargoylz only just managed to hide when she burst in and wanted to know where the kitten was.  She’d seen it looking out of my bedroom window.  We said there wasn’t one but then we all heard a miaow under the bed. That naughty Theo. He must have been looking out and seen her in the front garden and thought he would scare her by changing into a fierce tiger!  Of course he only managed a sweet little kitten.

Jessica insisted on checking under the bed and the next minute shrieked our ears off and ran away.  We were gob-smacked!  We thought that Theo had finally become a fierce tiger after all.  But then we found out what had happened.  Rufus had turned into a skeleton and scared her!

Trouble is, Jessica’s shrieking brought Mum in and the gargoylz had to dive into the wardrobe.  Mum heard them shuffling about and is now convinced that we’ve got mice!

At last we watched the match while the gargoylz tried on all my football shirts and did action replays on the bed.

Signing off now.  Mum’s dragging me to the hairdressers.  We go past the church so I hope I can get one or two gargoylz to come with me.  That should make it interesting!

I’ve got to tell you what happened to Max and me last Friday after school.  We were about to rush home to watch the World Cup match when Mrs Hogbottom came marching into the class and said that everyone who was signed up for the basket weaving club with Mr Widget should go to the hall. Well that wasn’t us!  Max and I made for the door to go home, laughing about the silly basket weavers, when Mrs Hogsbum asked us where did we think we were going?  Our mothers had signed us up for the club. We were going to miss the match!

There was nothing to be done.  Mr Widget told us to make dog baskets to sell at the school fair. We decided to make a mouse basket instead so we’d finish and at least get home for half time.

Then we had a brilliant idea. Max went to the window and called the gargoylz over. He asked Cyrus to sing everyone else to sleep so that we could escape.

But then double disaster! Cyrus didn’t give us any warning to put our fingers in our ears and we heard him sing and both fell asleep as well. When we woke up it was one minute to four. We wouldn’t get home for kick off.

And now I’m going to surprise you because Mr Weedy Widget did a wonderful thing, for the first time ever. When he woke up he yawned and told us he had a surprise for us.  He moved aside all the wicker and straws to reveal a TV!  And we watched the match!

Tonight is going to be awesome. England are playing Algeria and I’m going to Max’s house for a sleepover so we can watch it together on the TV in his bedroom. We’ve told the gargoylz they can watch with us but NO TRICKS!

Bart’s spiders in the sleeping bags trick was great! Bart burped his spiders and then we all hid nearby and listened. As soon as Arabella and Jessica got into bed they gave a shriek and flapped about so much that the tent collapsed on top of them!

On the way home we stopped for a picnic by a church. When we got the food out half of it had gone and everyone thought Ben and I had eaten it. We said it wasn’t us (which was true), it must have been rats (which wasn’t true but it made Jessica squeal). We knew who’d been at the picnic hamper really – the gargoylz.

 Then we lost Bart and our parents were telling us to hurry up and get in the car. We couldn’t go without him and we guessed that he must be in the old church.  So we told our mums and dads we had to have a quick look around the church.  We said it was for a school project. (That always shuts parents up.)

Time for secret plan – Find Bart.  We took all the gargoylz with us and started searching inside. Then we heard gargoyly chuckling coming from the font. And there was Bart having a bath.  But before we could get him the door at the back opened and the vicar came in! Bart just managed to climb on to the end of a nearby pew and freeze like a statue. We quickly pretended to be admiring him. The vicar was really surprised to see Bart there. He said he didn’t remember an ugly statue like that being in the church yesterday, especially a wet one. Toby whispered from the rafters that it wouldn’t be there tomorrow either and we had to make sure we didn’t giggle till the vicar had gone. Zack wanted to pop invisible and trick the vicar by ringing the church bells but then Arabella shouted that we were going so we had to rush back to the cars and make sure all the gargoylz got in the boot.

We’re looking forward to tonight. Straight after school we’re going to watch the first match of the World Cup!  South Africa v Mexico.  We expect all our readers will be watching too. And tomorrow it’s England’s first match – Goaltastic!

Miss Bleet couldn’t believe it when she saw the beetle on her desk. She was wittering on about how it must be a homing beetle when Zack popped invisible and dropped it down her back. She had stopped screaming by home time.

Max and I have had an awesome footie competition this week.  It was Superspies v. Gargoylz. Max and I won on Monday night and the gargoylz won on Tuesday night – but that’s only because they cheated. We’d told Zack he couldn’t go invisible but he forgot and scored five goals.  So Wednesday’s match was the decider. But we’d only just got started when the Basher turned up. He’d seen something going on from his bedroom window.

The gargoylz just managed to hide in time but Max and I were too slow. Barry stormed over, snatched the ball and lobbed it up onto the school roof. Then he stood there laughing at us. Of course, getting your ball back from a high place is no problem when you’ve got secret gargoyle friends, but Barry doesn’t know that we have. And we couldn’t ask them to get it with him standing there. But then suddenly he shouted that there was a snake in the grass and he ran away! 

Good old Eli. His secret power is brilliant. Toby flew up and got the ball and we carried on with the match. At ten-all we decided to call the whole thing a draw!

Bart has just appeared at the window. He’s looking worried. I wonder what he wants. We’ll let you know next week . . .