Gargoylz Blog » Jelly
18
Mar
Our awesome Spy-boy base

Posted by Max

We made an awesome base by sticking loads of big boxes together.

We had a tunnel and a secret lab and a launch pad for our superspy rocket. But then Jessica came along. She wanted to play but she didn’t want to play Spy-boy. We didn’t want to play Spy-boy with her either but instead she wanted our base to be a princess castle! Ben and I were nearly sick.

Luckily Bart, Jelly and Neb had come to play with us. So Jelly melted down into a squidgy blob all over her shoes, Neb blended in with the cardboard and tripped Jessica up and Bart burped some spiders down her neck.  Jessica ran away screaming and so the secret base became a princess-free zone again.

Bart wanted us to tell you his best joke for this time of year but he likes two and couldn’t decide which one.  What do you think?

Q. What season is it when you’re on a trampoline?…

A. Spring-time!

Q. Can February March?…

A. No but April May!

Ben and I have to make a model of a king for history homework so we’re going to plan it out this weekend. We’ve chosen King Henry the eighth and I’ve had an awesome idea about how to do it that will be a trick as well.


10


Our party hats started off okay. I went round to Max’s house on Saturday and found that Jelly, Neb, Barney and Ira were already there, helping Max to get out all the paper and glue and stuff that we needed. We decided to make pirate hats.  We’d just got our cardboard into cool pirate hat shapes when Max’s mum called us for a snack.  When we got back (bringing cookies for our friends, of course) we found a terrible mess and not a gargoyle in sight. The hats were covered in dead leaves, old socks and toilet paper!  And so was the furniture. Then Barney, Neb and Ira popped out of the wardrobe and yelled ‘surprise’! They thought we’d be pleased. When we complained about the hats, Ira told us that he knew all about olden day pirates and they always looked a bit messy. Then we heard Jelly calling for help. He’d turned into a ball of purple goo and was stuck to the top of Max’s hat. When we’d peeled him off and he’d gone back to normal he explained he wanted to be there when Mrs Hogsbum gave his hat the prize.

We felt really stupid at the party in our hats. I had one of Max’s football socks dangling in my face and he had toilet paper over one eye. We wanted to take our hats off but Mrs Hogsbum said we’d be breaking school rule number 961 – boys must not take party hats off at Christmas parties. And then it was brilliant because we won the prize for the funniest hats!

Then Abel played the most awesome Christmas trick on Mrs Hogsbum. He waited until she was making her rounds of the school at lunchtime and transformed into a Christmas tree, complete with baubles and tinsel. He took up the whole corridor. We were just coming along and saw Mrs Hogsbum going red in the face with steam blowing out of her ears. Unfortunately she spotted us and thought we’d done it. She told us we’d broken school rule number 962 – boys must not block the corridor with Christmas trees. The moment she’d gone, Abel turned back into his normal self, scampered round to overtake her and turned into a tree again. She couldn’t understand how the tree kept moving and in the end she thought she must be going mad and went home. Result!

Now we’ve got two whole weeks off for Christmas!


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‘Be a Chimp’ was the most awesome place in the history of most awesome places.  It was a mega big course up in the trees, with rope ladders and Tarzan swings and best of all, great long zip wires!

And the great thing was Abel and Jelly came too.  The bad thing was so did Arabella! – Luckily Jessica’s too small.  I don’t know why she bothered. She did nothing but shriek and hold everyone else up when she got scared.  If that wasn’t bad enough she tried to tell us how to do it.  The helper had to hoist her up the Tarzan net because she couldn’t climb it.  Max and I got ahead of her but then my dad said we had to wait until she caught up!  And then when she did she was really bossy.  So we made a plan.  We told Arabella that there were pterodactyls in the trees.  Of course she didn’t believe us.

When she was going across the wobbly bridge Jelly popped up in front of her.  That should have been enough to scare her but she just said that Jelly was a cheap plastic model!  He was very offended.

So then we told her that the trees were haunted.  She stuck her tongue out at us.  But she doesn’t know about Abel.  He turned into a tree and when she climbed up him, he growled, ‘Watch out!  My bite’s worse than my bark!’

Arabella screeched, scrambled along the stirrups and down the next zip wire in record time.  After that, she insisted on sticking close to Dad.  Max and I were free.

Tonight I’m going to put some twigs in her pants drawer so she’ll think the ghostly tree has come home with us.


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17
Sep
Five-aside footie fun!

Posted by Max

I’m on the class computer and I’m supposed to be looking up tea cosies through the ages.   (I don’t even know what tea cosies are but they’re sure to be stupid if Miss Bleet’s interested in them!)

We had an awesome day on Sunday – a whole day of footie training.  It was run by Oldacre Town FC and we actually played on their pitch.  Ben and I had just started dribbling practice when someone else turned up – Barry Price.  And he’d brought his four cousins with him.  They barged about with the Basher, crashing into kids and spoiling everything.

Then we had a five-a-side competition.  Ben and I were in a team with Duncan and two boys we didn’t know.  We won our first match one-nil – Ben scored a dazzler – but then disaster struck.  We had to play Barry’s team with the Basher in goal.  They all flattened us like bulldozers.  They should have been red carded but the ref was scared of them.

Then the gargoylz came to the rescue. It was nearly the end of the match and we were five goals down and we heard a whisper from under the away bench.  It was Zack and Jelly.  They’d come to watch and realised we needed an emergency gargoyle trick.

Before we knew what had happened Jelly had turned into a squashy ball.  Zack popped invisible and suddenly the Jelly ball was sailing towards the goal.  Zack must have thrown him!  Barry thought it was the real ball and dived to save it. It got stuck to his hands and his cousins all rushed up to pull it off him. While they were doing that Ben and I both scored a hat trick and won the match six-five! And the best thing was that Barry and his cousins got told off for playing with a baby’s toy.

We were really helpful at the end of the match. We unstuck the ‘baby’s toy’ and said we’d get rid of it. The Basher and his cousins all scowled at us and we managed not to laugh as we took Jelly away.

Right got to go and find some tins of food.  Mrs Hogsbottom has ordered us to bring things in for the harvest festival next week.  She and Mr Widget are going to make a display and then all the food is going to be given to the old people in the village.  Mrs Hogsbum has told us that anyone who doesn’t do this will be breaking School Rule Number 836 – Children must not forget to bring in food for the Harvest Festival when the head teacher has ordered them to do it.

Whoops!  Here comes Miss Bleet and I haven’t found out what a tea cosy is.


6


The trick on Arabella was footballtastic! Zack went invisible and signed her up for the school 5-a-side tournament and she had to play football all day. Mrs Hogsbottom wouldn’t listen when she said it wasn’t her writing, and anyway she’s not called Smelly Arabella. (Zack got over excited when he wrote it!)

Barney has insisted that I give you the recipe for Crackolates.  He says they’re drainpipingly delicious and should be eaten at least once a week.  So here it is.

Crispy Crackolates

Makes 12

Place 12 paper cake cases in muffin tray or on baking tray.

You will need a grown up to help you and -

  • 50g butter
  • 4 tablespoons golden syrup
  • 100g good quality dark/plain chocolate
  • 80g cornflakes
  1. Put butter, syrup and chocolate in large saucepan.  Warning – syrup is very gloopy!
  2. Melt it all very carefully over gentle heat until it’s mixed.
  3. Remove from heat and stir the cornflakes in well.
  4. Place spoonfuls of the mix in the paper cases. Leave to set in fridge.
  5. Eat from the fridge as soon as you come in.  Store in fridge. Crackolates keep for a couple of days – but we bet you won’t have any left. We didn’t.

Azzan says you should eat them four times a week! Jelly says every day!

The gargoylz were very excited yesterday.  They’ve been visiting lots of schools and the children have sent photos of the gargoylz models and pictures they’ve made.  They were amazing.  Toby flew up and decorated the church ceiling with them which really scared the vicar who rushed out in the middle of his sermon shouting ‘monsters!’

We’ve got Sports day on Tuesday.  I bet the gargoylz will do something to make it fun.  Can’t wait to see what.


10

2
Jul
Max’s disaster haircut

Posted by Ben

Posted by Ben Neal

Max has a very interesting haircut at the moment.  Ira and Neb went with him to the hairdressers.  They had a great time playing hide and seek among the towels and curlers but just as the hairdresser was about to use the battery-powered clippers on Max, Ira got excited and made it rain – indoors!  The clippers fizzed and sparked and ran all round Max’s head.  He looks like a spiky tennis ball!

Max is at my house at this moment and we’re having a footie sleepover. More World Cup tonight so we’re going to watch it together in the lounge with the big TV. Barney, Azzan and Jelly are here too.  The others are going to watch the match on the vicar’s television. Not that the vicar has any idea.

Max and I had our own World Cup match at lunchtime yesterday. I scored the winning goal – thanks to Mrs Hogsbum! It was three-all and it was nearly the end of lunchtime. Mrs Hogsbum was just stomping across the playground to shout at some infants when I did a brilliant kick. The ball sailed in the air, bounced off her nose and zoomed straight into the goal. Mrs Hogsbum staggered about a bit and fell on her bottom in a flowerbed. Just then the bell went for afternoon school which meant I had won! I told Mrs H she’d scored the winning goal for me. I don’t know why she was so cross about it. She said I’d broken school rule 765 – boys must not use their head teacher to score winning goals.

We’ve got a special football feast of chocolate crackolates and cola to share with Barney, Azzan and Jelly. And best of all, Arabella’s banned from the lounge. She made a big fuss about it so the gargoylz have promised us they’ll play a trick on her.  And she deserves it. She said that football is silly!


1


We had a gargoyletastic weekend! We got the gargoylz together in my bedroom. Rufus, Jelly and Neb – our new friends – had some great ideas for pranks to play. The trouble was they started arguing about which one to do first. And they were so loud that my annoying sister Arabella came storming in to tell us off. For one horrible moment we thought she was going to spot the gargoylz.

Max quickly stood in front of Rufus, and Neb used his special power to blend in with my duvet. But Jelly was so alarmed that he turned into a ball of gloopy jelly on the floor. Arabella stepped right in the middle of him with her bare feet. It was so funny to see her slipping about trying to get him off – and she got even more annoyed when we started laughing.

Then we got going with our pranks.  We played loads but I’ll tell you about the best one.  Mum and Dad were sitting in the garden having a drink.  Neb used his secret power to blend in with the grass and went over to them.  He sucked up all the tea in their cups when they weren’t looking and put muddy water in instead.  They both took a big gulp and spat it out all over each other.  Trouble was, they heard Max and me laughing and thought we’d done it.

I’m writing this on Arabella’s laptop as mine’s gone funny ever since Bart burped spiders on it. It’s gone to be fixed. Arabella doesn’t know I’m in her room. Or does she? The door’s opening. Help!


2

9
Apr
Easter Egg hunt!

Posted by Max

Blog writer: Agent Black

Poor Ben! He nearly didn’t get his hot cross buns! He was hiding in the wardrobe when he noticed an awful smell. For a moment he thought that Barney had sneaked in and made a bottom burp. Then he realised he was sitting on his dirty football socks that he’d stuffed in there instead of in the washing basket. He held his breath but it got too much and he began to choke. His mum found him straight away.

It was a good weekend for tasty food as it was Easter! We got lots of yummy chocolate eggs and Gran’s hot cross buns were scrumptious. We took some to the gargoylz and Rufus ate six! He said that when he uses his secret power he’s nothing but bones so he needed to fatten up! Then on Sunday, Ben and I made an Easter Egg hunt for the gargoylz. We bought lots of mini eggs with our pocket money and hid them all round the bottom of the garden. Then we invited the gargoylz over.

The hunt was going well when we heard Jessica coming. The gargoylz all froze in terror – except for Jelly who got so confused that he hopped backwards and forwards between our legs. Jessica took one look and ran inside, screaming to Mum that there was a bouncing dinosaur in the garden. Which was very silly of her because everyone knows that pterodactyls are lizards and not dinosaurs at all.

We carried on with the hunt and then we had a huge chocolate feast. Bart rubbed his tummy and told us that it was eggscellent, eggsciting and eggstraordinary! Groan! And we’ve still got another week of school holiday so who knows what we can get up to!

Keep reading, Gargoylz fans!


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