We had a tunnel and a secret lab and a launch pad for our superspy rocket. But then Jessica came along. She wanted to play but she didn’t want to play Spy-boy. We didn’t want to play Spy-boy with her either but instead she wanted our base to be a princess castle! Ben and I were nearly sick.

Luckily Bart, Jelly and Neb had come to play with us. So Jelly melted down into a squidgy blob all over her shoes, Neb blended in with the cardboard and tripped Jessica up and Bart burped some spiders down her neck.  Jessica ran away screaming and so the secret base became a princess-free zone again.

Bart wanted us to tell you his best joke for this time of year but he likes two and couldn’t decide which one.  What do you think?

Q. What season is it when you’re on a trampoline?…

A. Spring-time!

Q. Can February March?…

A. No but April May!

Ben and I have to make a model of a king for history homework so we’re going to plan it out this weekend. We’ve chosen King Henry the eighth and I’ve had an awesome idea about how to do it that will be a trick as well.

It was set up like a deserted castle and we all had laser guns in the shape of old fashioned swords.  Max and I were in a team together and we sped off to get away from the girls.  Our aim was to make it all the way from the drawbridge to the battlements without being blasted.  And we had to shoot the enemy teams and collect pretend gold coins on the way. The girls were on a different team and they were such sissies that they made our mums go with them! It was easy to know where they were because they kept screaming really girly shrieks just because it was dark.

We had an awesome time, blasting at monsters and collecting treasure.  But then something really scary happened.   We were creeping round the dark tunnels trying to find the last gold coin when we saw one whizzing along the ground ahead of us.  Every time we got near to it, it whizzed off again.  Then we realised it was being pulled along by a snake.  We thought we had it trapped in an old barrel but when we tipped it up we got covered in spiders! Yuck! It was only when the spiders vanished and we heard some growly chuckles that we realised the gargoylz were there! Eli and Bart had sneaked along for the fun! Eli was the snake of course and Bart had burped up the spiders.  Eli had found the last gold coin and we were able to get our prize – a slap up tea in the cafe.

As we were on our way there, we suddenly remembered that we were going to play a trick on the girls. But before we could think one up we heard a bloodcurdling shriek coming from a dark passageway and Jessica and Arabella came dashing out yelling that a haunted suit of armour was after them! We knew it must be one of the gargoylz.  The girls rushed off into the car park shrieking that they would never go to Lasershoot ever, ever again in their lives. RESULT!  When they’d gone, we saw Rufus – as a skeleton – waving one of his bony arms out of the suit of armour.

When we got our tea we made sure that all three gargoylz got plenty of cookies and doughnuts smuggled to them under the table.  Anyway Lasershoot was cool!

Bart wants me to tell you his favourite joke about Eli.

Q. What is a snake’s favourite food? 

A. Hiss Fingers!

And now Toby wants me to tell you something.  Oh yes!  The gargoylz are part of the World Book Day book.  I don’t think you’d need to be told.  Doesn’t everyone know that?  Anyway he’s insisting so I’m telling you!  And he says I must tell you to look out for the gargoylz next week as they’re going to visit lots of schools all around World Book Day. So if you live in Essex, Kent, Hertfordshire or Sussex you might see a stony paw or tail whizzing out of sight.  But remember, keep it a secret!

The show was as bad as we thought – full of dancing pixies and furry animals.  Ben and I got really fidgety.  We had to sit through ten minutes of this and Neb and Zack hadn’t played any pranks at all.  I was just telling Ben that I thought they must have gone to sleep somewhere when Mum poked us in the back.  She told us that if we didn’t keep quiet we’d be banned from playing football for a month!  So we zipped our lips while Jessica and eight other little lambs skipped about.  (They looked more like a herd of hippopotamuses.)  Then Arabella pranced on to the stage to do a dance called the Dying Duck.  She had a stupid pink costume on which was covered in feathers.  Ben and I were just agreeing that we’d never seen a pink duck before when we remembered the footie ban threat and shut up.

Arabella was jumping and twirling to some horrible twinkly music when suddenly the feathers on her dress began to fly off into the air.  We knew what was happening of course.  Invisible paws were plucking the dancing duck!  The feathers were all around Arabella like a pink blizzard.  She tried to dance on, spitting out bits of fluff when suddenly she began to spin like a top across the stage and then disappeared into the wings.  There was an earsplitting crash and that was the end of the show.  She’d bowled into the rest of the farm animals and they were all shrieking so loudly with terror they couldn’t dance.  Result!

I’m at Ben’s house now for tea and we’re going to leave some pink feathers all over her bed! 

The gargoylz said that as we had ten minutes before she opened her eyes, they could help us get everything ready and give her a big surprise. Well, she certainly got a big surprise! We put all the ingredients in a bowl and Neb jumped in and snorkelled round. He said he was mixing it all up but he squirted most of it round the room. By the time Max’s nan woke up there was egg on the ceiling, butter all over the bread bin and flour in the cooker. In the end she made the muffins and we ate them – at least, we ate as many as we could before the gargoylz got their stony paws on them!

This Saturday is going to be soooo boring. Max and I have to go and watch Jessica and Arabella take part in some sort of girly dance show. Hold on – maybe if the gargoylz come along it won’t be so bad…

We thought school was going to be really boring today because Mr Widget was leading Year Four on a snowdrop hunt!  We were waiting in the playground to set off for Oldacre Wood when Barry Price, codename: The Basher, barged into us.  He knocked me flying and I dropped my gloves in a puddle which made him really laugh and made my hands really cold. Max lent me one of his and we had to keep swapping to stop our fingers freezing and snapping off!

When we reached the wood, we had to search for snowdrops. The girls all shrieked with delight and ran around poking and prodding in the leaves. Max and I mooched about. I mean, who wants to find flowers in a place full of great trees to climb? But then we heard some gargoyly giggling and Zack and Neb popped up. They’d seen what had happened in the playground and had brought me some of the vicar’s gloves to borrow. They were a bit big but nice and cosy.  Then we got ready to play a trick on Barry Price to pay him back for being so mean. We got Zack to pop invisible and Neb to blend with the wood and take the vicar’s big gloves and sit in the oldest, tallest, spookiest looking tree in the wood. Then we told Barry that no one had ever climbed that tree as it was haunted. Of course the Basher went straight up it. As soon as Barry was up high, and sneering down at us, Zack and Neb put the vicar’s gloves on and waved them in Barry’s face. Zack wailed that he was the Ghastly Glove Ghost and he hoped no one had been nasty or he would scare them till their hair fell out. Barry hasn’t got much hair but he was still terrified. Then Zack said in a really spooky voice that only thing the Basher could do to make up for it, was to pick the biggest snowdrop he could find for teacher. Barry jumped down the tree immediately. It was so funny to see him scampering about trying to find the biggest flower for Mr Widget. And when he did Mr Widget told him off as no one’s was meant to pick the snowdrops. He didn’t listen when Barry said that the Ghastly Glove Ghost had told him to do it. It was awesome!

We’re back at school now and I’ve got a few minutes on the class computer. The Basher hasn’t said a word to anyone since we got back. That makes a change. Uh oh! He’s staring at the vicar’s gloves that Zack and Neb scared him with. They’re sticking out of my pocket. I forgot to take them back to the gargoylz so they could take them back to the vicar.

I think he suspects that Max and I had something to do with the Ghastly Glove Ghost. We’re going to be in BIG TROUBLE! HELP!

We met up with Max and his family to have a long walk and a pub lunch because our parents said they’d done enough cooking! Max and I didn’t want to go on a boring walk until we found that the gargoylz were coming too. 

Arabella and Jessica were being really bossy and telling us not to jump in the mud as it was dirty. We told them they had to be careful not to upset the mud monsters. Arabella put on her most annoying bossy monitor face and said there were no such things as mud monsters.

Can you guess what happened next?

As soon as the grownups had gone on ahead, a whole army of mud monsters jumped out on the girls and splattered them with mudpies. One of the monsters turned into a mud kitten, another one burped muddy spiders and there was a dreadful pong.  The girls ran shrieking to our parents and got told off for getting so muddy.

 It’s New Year’s Eve and tonight Max is coming to my house and we’re allowed to stay up until midnight when it’ll be 2011 – as long as we go to bed straight after. All the gargoylz are coming so it’s going to be a bit of a squeeze.

Wow! Ira’s just reminded me that we’ve been doing this blog for a whole year. Awesome!

Happy gargoyling new year, Gargoylz fans!

from

Max and Ben

and

Abel, Azzan, Barney, Bart, Cyrus, Eli, Ira, Jelly, Neb, Ruben, Rufus, Theo, Toby, Zack

We’re going to start rehearsing for our class Christmas play. It’s called ‘A Christmas Carol’. It’s an awesome story. This mean old man called Scrooge gets visited by four ghosts and it makes him nicer.  The ghosts are brilliant.  I want to be the ghost of Christmas present.  I thought I’d be dressing up as a ghostly parcel till Miss Bleat told me that ‘Christmas present’ didn’t mean a present that you give at Christmas. It means the ghost of this Christmas. Why do grownups have such funny ways of saying things? Anyway, the ghost of Christmas present gets to say lots and I’ve been practising like mad so that I get chosen. But as usual I’m having trouble remembering the words. Still Max and the gargoylz said they’d help.  The gargoylz haven’t been that helpful so far. I popped into the churchyard after school for a rehearsal. But they had their fingers in their ears when I was trying the lines and Barney even said my acting was giving him a tummy ache. Then he got very anxious that he’d upset me and did an accidental bottom burp. The dreadful stink went everywhere. That was enough for Max and me. We ran home. If this goes on, I don’t think I’m going to get any part at all in the play.

It’s the Christmas fair tomorrow. The gargoylz weren’t too sure about coming into school on a Saturday until they heard there’d be a cake stall.  I wonder what tricks they’ll get up to…

We went back to my house afterwards. It was quite misty and the gargoylz ran along the pavement with us and no one could see them properly. One man thought we were walking a load of dogs when he saw all the little shapes scuttling along with us in the mist. Then he spotted Toby flying overhead. We told him we were walking the parrot too.

When we got home, Jessica came running out shrieking that everywhere was ‘mystery’. We knew she meant misty, but it gave us an idea for a trick. (She’s been really horrible as she wasn’t allowed to go to Nan’s with us.) We said we’d go out into the back garden with her and investigate the mystery. Then Max got the gargoylz to hide all round the flowerbeds and in the trees. Jessica followed us outside and yelped.  She said there was an ugly thing waving its nose at her from a bush. We had a look. It was Neb, of course, but we told Jessica it was just a twig. Then she said she could see a nasty-looking monster with long hair sitting on the roof. That was Eli, wiggling his snakes. Then the branch of a big tree bent over and tapped Jessica on the back. She nearly deafened us yelling that the tree was alive and coming to get her. We knew it was Abel in his tree form.

Mum told us not to tease Jessica and wouldn’t listen when we said it wasn’t us. Anyway, tomorrow we’ve got to bake some cakes for Jessica. Not fair.  I wonder what we can put in them so she won’t be too keen on eating them. Hmmmm…

We’ve had a great half term.  We went to an activity swim at the leisure centre on Tuesday with lots of floats and inflatables.  But mostly we’ve been getting ready for Halloween on Sunday.  And there’s lots to plan.  I’m having a Halloween party and everyone has to dress up in a scary way.  Ben’s coming of course and some other friends from our class – or should I say, fiends from our class.

The gargoylz have been helping and we’ve promised them their own party when everyone else has gone home.  We’ve been making paper ghosts and shiny skeletons to decorate my bedroom.  I left a skeleton on Jessica’s pillow and waited for her screams.  But Mum found it first.  She screamed really loudly so the trick worked in a way.  Bart’s going to burp up lots of spiders for us so my bedroom will be Scary! Scary!! Scary!!!  That will keep Jessica out.

Bart was wondering if anyone has some Halloween jokes for him.  Ben has one.

Q.  Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party?

A.  Because he had no body to go with!

Bart likes that one and so does Rufus!

Abel’s joke is -

Q. Why do witches wear name badges?

A. So you can tell which witch is which! 

Don’t forget to post your Halloween jokes too.

Right, we’re off to the kitchen to practise making witch’s guts and eyeballs. We’re going to use spaghetti and lots of gungy tomato sauce that looks like blood, with mozzarella cheese balls on top. Yummy and yucky!

We had a postcard from Italy today.  It was a bit damp round the edges.  We’d been wondering where Barney had got to as we hadn’t seen him on the church recently and the other gargoylz couldn’t tell us.  Anyway, it was his writing on the card.  It said that last week he saw Mrs Hogsbum packing for her holiday and filling her case with cookies.  He dived straight in, got zipped up and next thing he knew he was in a hotel in Venice and Mrs Hogsbum was unpacking her knickers.  He was so scared he scrambled out of the window and fell straight in a canal.  He didn’t know the roads are all made of water in Venice.

He says he’s having a great time eating pasta and gelato – that’s Italian for ice cream – and he can’t wait until she visits the Leaning Tower of Pizza.  He hopes it’s cheese and tomato!