Gargoylz Blog » Lucinda
16
Jul

Posted by Ben

The world cup is over – boo hoo!  Only stupid sisters like Arabella and Jessica are pleased about that.  Never mind, the football season starts soon!

Sports day was wicked. Toby and Eli hid in the sacks and Miss Bleet thought they were haunted.  And then Neb blended in with the sand in the long jump and tickled all the jumpers’ feet!

Next, Max and I won the leapfrog race! Lucinda and Tiffany were in the lead but they kept stopping to make sure that they weren’t showing their pants so we beat them easy peasy – and without the gargoylz help. 

But you can never keep the gargoylz quiet for long and soon they were playing a trick.  Mr Widget was selling his homemade lemonade to the parents. First Theo distracted him by doing his kitten impression. While he was busy shooing him off, Zack popped invisible and stuck a pin in all the plastic cups. Every time Mr Widget went to serve a drink he was showered in lemonade! He was so sweet and sticky he got chased by wasps. He zoomed down the 50m sprint faster than all the year 6 kids and won the race!  (The wasps came second.)

On Monday we’ve got a school trip. We’re going to an open air theatre to see a play by some bloke called Shakespeare.  Mrs Hogsbum says it will be really good so it definitely won’t be.  We’re going to get all the gargoylz to come along. They’ll have fun and Ira can make it rain during the boring bits which will probably be all the time.




School has been wonderful! Mrs Hogbum is stuck out in Mongolia because of the volcano that’s erupting in Iceland. She can’t fly back. Obviously she forgot to pack her broomstick when she went on holiday. Ha ha! The volcano will be in such trouble. It’s probably broken school rule number one million and five: volcanos must not erupt and stop head teachers getting back for the start of term.

Anyway, it’s 4 o’clock and we’re in the ICT room. The bell went half an hour ago. Unfortunately our mums signed us up for computer club with Mr Weedy Widget! They said it would make us behave sensibly after we got into trouble for making Lucinda shriek in English. Well it’s not our fault if she does that when she sees a skeleton.  Good old Rufus. He loomed up outside the classroom window right by her desk. It was awesome.

We tried to get out of computer club. Bart wanted us to go and play with all the gargoylz after school and he looked so sad when we said we couldn’t that we were determined not to let him down. When the bell rang I told Miss Bleet that I had the Mercury measles – like the Martian measles but with bigger spots – and Max said he was allergic to mice, especially wireless ones. Miss Bleet looked like she believed us but then Mrs Hogsbottom stalked past. She told us we were being outrageous and breaking School Rule number two hundred and seventeen – Boys must not pretend to have impossible diseases to get out of computer club.

So now we’re meant to be learning how to do research on the Internet but I’m secretly blogging instead. Max is looking up jokes and acting as superspy look out. He’s found some great jokes for Bart. That should cheer him up. Trouble is which one would work best? See what you think.

Q.  On which day do monsters eat people?
A.  Chewsday.

Q.  What is a sea monster’s favorite dish?
A.  Fish and ships.

Q. What’s big, heavy, furry, dangerous and has 16 wheels?
A.  A monster on roller-skates.

Let us know which one you like best.

Ow! Max just kicked me under the table. Here comes Mr Widget…



16
Apr

Posted by Max

Blog writer: Agent Black

This has been a great Easter holidays. We’ve done loads of tricks this week.  The best one was the prank we played on the Basher.

On Wednesday we went to see the gargoylz at the church. But just as we started a fantastic game of ‘had’ in the churchyard, the Basher loomed over his garden wall. He was the last person we wanted to see – the gargoylz only just hid in time. He said we had to tell him what we were doing and he climbed over the wall. 

Then I saw Azzan waving at me from behind a grave. Theo was with him and it gave me an idea. I nudged Ben to let him know we had a secret plan and then told Barry that we’d found a fire breathing cat. He scoffed of course and said he’d thump us for wasting his time.

I winked at Theo and he turned into a kitten and gave a sweet miaow. Azzan stayed hidden but just as the Basher bent down to peer at Theo, Azzan blasted a flame over Theo’s head.  Barry was so frightened he vaulted his wall and was inside his house shouting for his mum before you could say ‘dragon!’

 Of course Theo was convinced it was because he’d turned into a fierce tiger but it didn’t matter. The Basher didn’t disturb us again.

Back to school on Monday (boo!) but we’re going to play an awesome trick on super annoying Lucinda Tellingly (Yay!) We haven’t forgotten she was going to tell on us about the rainforest.




 Secret Plan: Write this blog before Mum finds out that I flooded the bathroom because I forgot to turn the bath taps off.

We had meant to play a trick on Arabella when we suddenly remembered what day it was yesterday! So we forgot all about silly sisters and spent the week planning for it. And it was worth it.

Yesterday was the last day of school – and APRIL FOOLS DAY! The gargoylz were so excited. It’s almost better than Christmas for a gargoyle because they play even more tricks than usual. We had to go to school but it didn’t matter because Max and I had thought up the most fantastic trick ever for the gargoylz to do.

 We decided to turn the school hall into a rainforest. (As we’ve been doing a project about rainforests we thought it would be quite educational.) First of all Cyrus went round the school singing everyone to sleep, including the teachers. He had to keep going up and down the corridors as his power doesn’t last very long. While he was doing that, me and Max and the gargoylz got soil and plants from the playground and decorated the whole hall. The wall bars made excellent trees when we’d put ivy all over them, and you couldn’t see the floor at all. It was completely covered in earth and leaves (and so was the piano). Our rainforest looked fantastic, especially when Ira flapped his wings to make it rain and Azzan breathed fire and turned it all into steam.

Then Max and I sneaked back to class as everyone woke up. The bell rang for the end of term assembly and we all had to go to the hall. We remembered to look surprised and not giggle when we went in and joined the rest of the kids who were gawping in amazement at the steamy green forest. Then Toby flapped past, wearing one of the vicar’s bright holiday shirts and looking like a cockatoo. Eli turned into a snake and slithered about – making all the silly girls shriek. Bart burped up some of his best spiders and Theo tried to turn into a rainforest tiger. Zack popped invisible and ran around with some paper butterflies. The other gargoylz made loud monkey noises.

Mrs Hogsbottom rushed in, slipped on the rainforest floor and fell flat on her face! She looked very funny covered in mud and shrieking ‘Outrageous!’ She was just about to think up a terrible punishment for the whole school as we had broken school rule number six hundred and seventy-four – children must not make rainforests on school property – when Barney came to the rescue. He did one of his stinkiest bottom burps ever, and we all ran out. And just in time as Lucinda Tellingly was telling Mrs Hogsbum that she thought Max and I had done the forest. She even said it was the sort of horrible thing we’d do.  We won’t forget that, Lucinda!

When we saw the gargoylz after school we all agreed it was the best April Fools Day in the history of best April Fools Days.

I’m going to meet Max now. His gran – codename:supercook – is going to make hot cross buns as it’s Good Friday!  Uh oh. I can hear someone squelching along the landing. Mum’s been in the bathroom. Now she’s coming to find me. Signing off in a hurry and going to hide in the wardrobe.




Hi! Agent Black here on the classroom computer.

(Superspy secret note: must not let anyone in class see this blog!)

Our cake for Lucinda was the best surprise fairy cake in the history of best surprise fairy cakes. It was all pink and girly with pretty little icing shapes we found in the cupboard. (Bleurgh!)

 Lucinda didn’t like it! I don’t know why. We got Zack to pop invisible and sneak it onto her desk before school on Monday. Then we made sure we didn’t go into the classroom until Lucinda was already inside so that we couldn’t be accused of anything. Poppy and Tiffany and the others crowded round the cake, going ooh and ahh. We went ooh and ahh too, so it didn’t look suspicious.

Lucinda said she’d love to share it but it was too small so she’d have to eat it all herself. Then she took a big bite.

She didn’t know we’d put a plastic beetle on a spring inside it. As soon as she got her teeth into the cake the beetle popped up and her face got splattered with pink sloppy icing!

We made sure we kept our faces straight. Ben even got a cloth and wiped the icing off her dress. It wasn’t his fault the icing got spread around even further – it was Lucinda’s because she was screeching and flapping her arms about.

We could see Zack, Barney, Bart and Azzan at the window rolling about laughing. They soon ducked when Miss Bleet flung it open to release the toy beetle into the wild. After that, the beetle kept turning up in funny places – thanks to the gargoylz.

In fact I’ve just noticed that it’s now lurking on Miss Bleet’s desk . . .

Uh-oh. She’s coming! Must sign off fast.




Ben Neal, top trickster, signing in . . .

Max and I rushed off to the church really early last Saturday morning to see what prank Toby was going to play on the choir. Toby was waiting for us in the porch and Cyrus was with him. They wouldn’t tell us what the trick was going to be. It was a surprise.

We all crept into the church and hid behind the font. The choir were sitting in rows, warbling some soppy song about love (yuck!) for a wedding (double yuck!). Cyrus crept up behind them and started singing along – and you all know what happens when Cyrus uses his special power! Max and I stuffed our fingers in our ears, but the whole choir slowly fell asleep and slid off their seats! 

Then Toby and Cyrus started running round putting animal masks on everyone.  They said they’d borrowed them from the dressing up box at school.  When the choir woke up there was a terrible panic. One of the elephants started a stampede for the door, followed by three zebras and a newt.

Toby said it was better than watching TV.

Signing off now. Max has just arrived. We’ve decided to make a surprise cake for Lucinda Tellingly Supersneak. It’s going to have something very special in it. (Well, she shouldn’t have said our model of a T-rex looked more like a pigeon with measles.)

More next week . . . Hee hee hee!



29
Jan

Posted by Max

Hello, Agent Black reporting!

Remember Ben and Azzan’s photo trick?  It should have been awesome.  All the pictures went up in the hall before school. Soon there was a deafening shriek. We put our earplugs in and rushed into the hall on our superspy propelling machines – codename feet. Arabella was yelling her head off because everyone was laughing at her picture. That is until they came across this really gruesome child holding a watering can over his head.  It was voted most ugly.  And then it turned out that Arabella had brought it in and it was Ben!  We had to hide in the boys’ toilets until the mocking stopped.  Barry the Basher Price was the worst.  He’s been on about it all week.  Until today.

Today I took my telescope (best Christmas present in the history of best Christmas presents) into school. Ben and I hid behind the bins with Toby and Zack and poked it over the top. We took it in turns to spy on Lucinda Tellingly picking her nose. But then the Basher snatched it and ran off! He was about to use it as a cricket bat when Zack popped invisible and snatched it back. It was great seeing the look on the Basher’s face when the telescope danced off in mid-air. He didn’t eat any of his chips at lunchtime. He just sat there muttering about the Telescope of Terror.

We’re going to play with the gargoylz all day tomorrow. The choir will be practising for a wedding in the church and Toby says he’s got a spectacular trick to play on them.

We’ll tell you all about it next time . . .



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