Gargoylz Blog » Max
29
Jul

Posted by Ben

School holidays are awesome!

Today Max and I made a wonderful marble run at the bottom of my garden. It’s muddy down there so we built a mud mountain and then made twisting tracks all the way down. At the bottom we dug a tunnel that went along under the compost heap and came up on the lawn the other side. It was fantastic. Our marbles got such a run up down the mountain that they shot through the tunnel and sped on to the grass. My favourite marble – The Blue Wonder was the best. It went the furthest every time. Its record run was getting as far as the apple tree and that’s a long way across the grass!
We were just setting up for a double run which is two marbles racing each other when there was a loud Boo! I was so frightened I jumped and sat in the mud and Max dropped all his marbles.
Guess who it was! Yes, the gargoylz had come to see us and of course they had to play a trick on us. It was Eli, Theo and Abel. They were really impressed with our marble mountain and joined in the fun.
Then disaster! We heard a horrible moany voice and Arabella appeared. The gargoylz had to hide quickly. Eli turned into a snake and slithered under the compost, Theo turned into a kitten and Abel became a tree. When Arabella saw what we were doing she wanted to join in. I said no, but then she started yelling for Mum and Mum said we had to let her play.
Arabella only wanted to play to annoy us. Normally she says she’s too grown up for that sort of thing. Anyway she started bossing us about straight away. It really ruined the game especially when she demanded that she should have The Blue Wonder as she is the oldest. So I told her she couldn’t have it as it was mine. She stamped her foot and shouted and then told us that she didn’t want to play anyway and that we’d be sorry. She bent down by the tunnel to tie up her shoe and then she stalked off to the house.
Max and I cheered and the gargoylz came out of hiding. But when I sent the Blue Wonder down for its next run it didn’t come out of the tunnel. We tried to peer inside but we couldn’t see it. I was really upset. My favourite, record-breaking marble was stuck.
Lucky for me that I have a friend who can make himself tunnel-shaped. Eli turned back into a snake and shot down the tunnel to see what the problem was. He was soon out the other side with the Blue Wonder. And now we could see what had happened. There was a big lump of sticky chewing gum on my marble. Arabella must have poked the chewing gum down the tunnel with a stick when she tied up her shoe. She must have known that the next marble would run into it and then get stuck in the tunnel and that would be the end of our game.
So it’s time to plan a super trick to get Arabella back!


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15
Jul

Posted by Ben

Yesterday was the film that Mrs Hogsbum had promised us. We were so excited when we all trooped into the hall. Mr Widget had the DVD machine all set up and there was a big screen at the front. We weren’t going to miss a thing. Mrs Hogsbottom had gone on and on in assembly about how we were going to enjoy the film and anyone who didn’t would be breaking school rule no. 568 – Children must enjoy the exciting film that the head teacher is showing them – so Max and I were sure it was Spy-Boy and the Sharkmen from Jupiter. We were so sure that we’d invited the gargoylz to join us.
But when it started we realised that the film was all about fluffy animals who lived in a riverbank and went about in silly boats. It was so old that it was in black and white! And the animals were the worst actors in the history of worst actors! No wonder Mrs Hogsbottom didn’t stay to watch it.
And even worse, Mr Widget had told us that it lasted for two hours. Then I felt a stony paw tap me on the knee. It was Neb. He’d blended in with the wooden floor and come to find out why we’d invited all the gargoylz to see such a boring film.
I explained the mix up and he scampered away, telling me not to worry.
Max and I were just wondering if the clock had stopped when suddenly the picture on the screen flickered and Spy-Boy appeared. The gargoylz had secretly changed the DVDs and they had found Spy-Boy and the Sharkmen from Jupiter from somewhere. Everyone cheered. Mrs Hogsbottom poked her nose round the door and looked really happy because she thought we were cheering at the river animals. Luckily she didn’t turn to see what was on the screen which makes me even more sure that she couldn’t bear to watch the fluffy rats and was torturing us.
Anyway Spy-Boy and the Sharkmen from Jupiter was awesome. We were amazed that the gargoylz had managed to find a copy but it turned out that Toby had noticed it on the vicar’s TV table and had sneaked in to pinch it.
We’re off to give the gargoylz some cookies as a thank you.
Next week it’s the last week of term. We have six lovely long weeks of holiday to come. But before that, Miss Bleet wants our year to have an end of term concert and we’ve all got to do something. Max and I have got to get our thinking caps on. I’m sure the gargoylz will help out.


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8
Jul

Posted by Max

When we got to school on Wednesday the classroom was covered in bits of wool, shiny beads, paper petals, tissue paper and all sorts of smelly girly things. Miss Bleet announced that today was THE BIG DAY – her alternative sports day. Ben and I complained that we should do proper sports as it was good exercise but Miss Bleet said this would be just as good exercise – but for our fingers and brains instead. Groan!
First she said we had to find a partner. Well that was easy. Then she told me and Ben that we’d better behave as she hadn’t forgotten our T-rex model that we made out of Mr Bucket’s best mop, two dictionaries and the class rubbish bin.
We had some really stupid things to do. We had to see who could make the most beautiful paper flower for our mums. It was so boring and we ended up glued together with tissue paper in our ears. Then we had to see who could make the quickest pair of recycled socks. Ben’s were brilliant. He shoved his feet into a couple of cereal boxes and shouted “I’ve won!” but Miss Bleet said it didn’t count as he kept falling over.
Then she gave out some bits of old card and said we had to see who could decorate the most bookmarks in half an hour. Well the girls all got to work with tiny sequins and made nasty flower patterns. Ben and I were just sitting wondering how we could get out of there when we saw a pile of dirty old leaves under the table and Zack’s head poking out from the middle. Bart and Neb were with him. “You need help!” he said. “Got these from the church gutter.” We slapped glue on the bookmarks and stuck the leaves all over them and the gargoylz helped us from under the table. Well, Miss Bleet didn’t say we had to use the things IN the classroom and she definitely didn’t say that gargoylz were not allowed to help. When the half hour was up we’d done the most bookmarks! Miss Bleet wasn’t too pleased about the dirt all over the floor but she couldn’t say anything. Lucinda and Poppy and Tiffany all starting wailing and complaining, but then a line of spiders appeared in the leaves on Ben’s bookmark and marched towards them. Well done Bart! They forgot about complaining – they were so busy running out of the classroom.

We’re having a film next week in school. Ben and I can’t wait. We’re hoping it’s the new Spy-Boy film – Spy-Boy and the Sharkmen from Jupiter.



27
May

Posted by Max

Half term next week – awesome!

We had model disaster – well almost!

By the time the gargoylz had finished helping us, our model of St Mark’s Church was blackened round the edges (Azzan), missing three windows (Neb poked his nose in) and had the top of the spire bitten off (Zack thought it was made of chocolate!)

Luckily it was big enough for Cyrus to hide in. We struggled into the classroom with it because Cyrus is very heavy. Miss Bleet told us we’d have to do it all again even though we told her it was what the church looked like just after the war when it had been bombed. Then we said that if everyone listened carefully they’d hear the choir singing inside. This was Cyrus’s cue. Ben and I just managed to get our fingers in our ears as Cyrus struck up with ‘All things bright and beautiful’ and everyone fell asleep. Ben and I went round hiding their pencils.

When they all woke up, the bell for playtime went and Miss Bleet found she’d written a very nice comment on our reports about our imaginative church – Toby had copied her writing when they were all asleep.

We’re a bit worried about next week. Our mums have said that we’re having a great outing and that it’s going to be educational!  That sounds bad!


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20
May

Posted by Ben

Max’s nan made shortbread biscuits which were awesome. Barney was so impressed he wants you to make them. Here’s the recipe. Get a grownup to help. You can always promise them a biscuit to stop them moaning.

Shortbread biscuits

You will need…
125g butter (margarine’s not half as good.)
55g caster sugar
180g plain flour
A little bit of icing sugar for sprinkling

What you do…
1. Get your tame grownup to turn the oven to 190C/375F/Gas 5.
2. Beat the butter and sugar together in a bowl until it’s all mixed.
3. Sift the flour into the mixture and stir it all until you have a thick paste.
4. Sprinkle flour on your table or work space (this is to stop the mixture sticking to the table) and put your ball of paste on to it.
5. Roll it out until it’s about 1cm thick.
6. Now cut into rectangles (about 2cm wide and 8cm long.)
7. Put your rectangles on a baking tray (with baking paper underneath to stop them sticking.) Sprinkle with a little bit of icing sugar and put into the fridge for 20 mins.
8. Bake in the oven for 15-20 minutes until they are a pale golden-brown. Put them on a wire rack to cool and then eat them before the gargoylz get their paws on them! And don’t forget to feed one to your tame grownup.

Barney says they are especially delicious if you cover them with melted cooking chocolate. Let us know how you get on.

Max and I have got homework – and it’s going to take ages! We’ve got to make a model of the church. Well it will be lot more fun with some gargoyle help!


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6
May

Posted by Ben

We played such a cool trick on the girls and our mums on the royal wedding day – thanks to Abel. They did deserve it.  When Max and I asked very politely if we could watch our DVD they all shouted NO and Jessica stuck her tongue out.

Then we heard ‘boyz!’ hissed through the letterbox and when we looked, Toby and Abel were peeping out of a bush in the front garden.  They sneaked in and Abel slipped into the lounge. The girls and our mums had just got really gooey about lovely wedding dresses – yuck – when Arabella screamed. She told them that the plant in the corner had winked at her. The others didn’t believe her but then Jessica said it was waving at her and showing its teeth. Max’s mum just turned up the volume but then my mum gave a shriek and said there was a twiggy monster in the pot. Max’s mum looked but Abel had ducked down out of sight.

The mums then came looking for us because they were sure that we’d played a trick on them.  Luckily Max and I had thought about this so we made sure we were helping his dad out in the garden. They had to agree it couldn’t have been us and that they’d all be much happier watching it back at my house so off they all went. Result! Max and I got to watch our film in his lounge in peace!  And his dad made us some popcorn. He was amazed how quickly we ate it but he didn’t realise that we had five hungry gargoylz hiding behind the couch. Once they’d heard how well the trick had gone, Barney, Neb and Theo had come to join Toby and Abel.  It was a bit of a squash.

So it was an awesome Royal Wedding day for us.

Now we’re just off to drop a wet sponge on Arabella’s head from the bedroom window.  She’s been complaining we smell because we don’t wash enough and she says she just loves washing all the time.  So we’re going to give her an extra rinse and see how she likes that.


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25
Mar

Posted by Max

Max came round to my house for tea last night as we had to write a story for Miss Bleet about hanging baskets. That was a punishment as she’d found our model of King Henry VIII made out of everyone’s PE bags. We tried to tell her he was a very fat king and that was why we’d needed all the PE bags but she was still cross for some reason and kept muttering that we shouldn’t have used superglue.  Some teachers just don’t understand education!

Anyway, on the way home I had to get new shoes. The most boring shopping in the history of most boring shopping.  Mum picked Max and me up in the car and we went off to this old-fashioned shop where a very cross lady got loads of really horrible shoes out for me to try. I told Mum they all looked like what grandads wear but she wouldn’t listen and the shoes lady kept tutting at me.  Suddenly Max started giggling. One of the pairs of shoes jumped out of the box and started jumping about! Then another pair joined in! Mum and the shoe lady couldn’t believe their eyes! We knew just what had happened. Zack and Neb had stowed away in the car and come in to help. 

Then we heard Toby’s growly voice from under the seats.  “Disgusting! These shoez have got fleaz. That’s why they’re jumping about.”

All the other shoppers screamed and stampeded so fast for the door that they all tried to go through it together and got stuck. The cross lady had to call the fire brigade to get them free! And in the meantime, I chose some really cool shoes and the cross lady and Mum were so upset by everything that they didn’t argue. Result! 

Next Friday is April Fool’s Day. I wonder if the gargoylz have got anything planned?



18
Mar

Posted by Max

We made an awesome base by sticking loads of big boxes together.

We had a tunnel and a secret lab and a launch pad for our superspy rocket. But then Jessica came along. She wanted to play but she didn’t want to play Spy-boy. We didn’t want to play Spy-boy with her either but instead she wanted our base to be a princess castle! Ben and I were nearly sick.

Luckily Bart, Jelly and Neb had come to play with us. So Jelly melted down into a squidgy blob all over her shoes, Neb blended in with the cardboard and tripped Jessica up and Bart burped some spiders down her neck.  Jessica ran away screaming and so the secret base became a princess-free zone again.

Bart wanted us to tell you his best joke for this time of year but he likes two and couldn’t decide which one.  What do you think?

Q. What season is it when you’re on a trampoline?…

A. Spring-time!

Q. Can February March?…

A. No but April May!

Ben and I have to make a model of a king for history homework so we’re going to plan it out this weekend. We’ve chosen King Henry the eighth and I’ve had an awesome idea about how to do it that will be a trick as well.




The gargoylz came back today from their World Book Day travels and already they’ve been up to their usual tricks. They sent leaves and water gushing down on the vicar outside the church.  They’ve been to Hertfordshire and Essex this week and Toby said the visits have been awesome. 

We had great fun last Saturday. We met the gargoylz at the church. We had our paper and charcoal ready to do some brass rubbings in case any grownups came along. We thought we’d have the place to ourselves though as the vicar had gone to a vicar’s paintballing day and there was nothing up on the notice board – like weddings or christenings. We’d forgotten about Doris and Aggie, the demon flower arrangers. Luckily we heard their screeching voices before they saw us so the gargoylz were able to hide and Max and I began doing a rubbing of Sir Oswald Fitzgubbins. He was a knight with a big nose who died in 1456. Doris and Aggie are so old they probably babysat for him when he was young!

Anyway the demon flower arrangers came in with their arms full of daffodils, took one look at us and started moaning.  They said we were making the place untidy and we were putting them off. They needed all their artistic power to decorate the church. We were just about to complain that we were there first when I noticed Barney sitting on a beam above their heads.  We held our noses and just in time. He made a dreadful pong. Doris and Aggie gave a shriek, threw down their daffodils and ran.

Barney felt a bit mean so he put the flowers in the vases for them. Zack tried to help but he put them in all upside-down!

I’m going to Max’s house tomorrow. We’ve got plans to make a Spy-Boy base out of  giant cardboard boxes.




The church roof has been empty all week because the gargoylz have been visiting schools for World Book Day.  Did you do anything good yesterday for World Book Day?  Which character did you dress up as?  Ben was Spyboy and I was the evil Eagleman from ‘Spyboy and the Feathery Fiend’. That’s our favourite book at the moment.

Anyway, playtimes haven’t been as much fun without our stony friends. Ben and I tried to play Super special secret agents today but we made a big mistake!  We’d planned an awesome trick on those icky girls, Lucinda, Poppy and Tiffany. All week we’ve been making confetti bombs!  They’re easy peasy. Ben got some of the thin paper bags that his mum puts sandwiches in.  We filled them with all the paper bits from Dad’s paper shredder.  Our plan was to drop them on the girls when they go to have their playtime chat under the honeysuckle. 

So we got in position and when we heard the footsteps we dropped our bombs.  But we didn’t know that the girls had been overtaken at the last minute and our paper bombs splattered all over…. Barry-the Basher-Price!

He was really angry and started rampaging about.  We were sure he was going to find us any minute when all of a sudden it began to rain over his head.  It was Ira using his special power.  Before he could say ‘you’re bashed’ the paper and water turned to papier-mâché and got stuck on his head like a sort of drippy helmet.

It took three dinner ladies and Mr Duster the caretaker to get Barry free.  And then he had to walk round school with pink bits stuck on his stubbly hair because Dad had shredded some pink paper. Mrs Hogsbottom said he’d broken School Rule number 363 – boys must not have shredded pink paper in their hair.

So Ira saved us in the nick of time.

The gargoylz are off again next week to visit more schools but we’re going to spend all weekend with them. We’ve told our mums we’ve got a brass rubbing project at the church. I wonder what we’ll get up to. 

Oh… Toby wants to know if anyone saw them this week? They were in Brighton, Essex and Kent. They hid from the teachers of course!



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