Max’s banana trick didn’t work quite as well as he thought it would. Well, he wasn’t to know that his mum had decided to do baked bananas with syrup and sugar for afters.  The whole thing got covered in melted plastic so no one could eat it. And somehow, Max got the blame!

We had a scare on Wednesday.  We were just going home when Miss Bleet reminded us about a nature project on birds that we should have done during the holidays. Boring. We were supposed to give them in on Thursday.  Of course Max and I had forgotten all about it.  We were just wondering if she’d ban us from playing football all term when the gargoylz came to our rescue.  They sneaked home with us and rolled in Dad’s vegetable patch.  When they were really sticky with earth and squashed tomatoes, they covered themselves in feathers.  Zack had brought along all the vicar’s pillows and we got the feathers from there.  Then the gargoylz climbed up in the apple tree and pretended to be birds while we took photos.  Toby flew about so we got some video shots too.  Then we quickly put them on a powerpoint and called it Unusual Birds of Oldacre.

Miss Bleet was a bit puzzled as she didn’t recognise all the types of bird, especially the Tobybird that seemed to wave at the camera, but she told our mums how well we’d done and they’ve signed us up for a footie training day on Sunday as a reward.  Can’t wait.

PS Bart has a joke…

Q. What is orange and sounds like a parrot?

A. A carrot!

Well, he thought it was funny!

Categories: Gargoylz, Pranks, jokes
Tags: Ben football Gargoylz homework jokes Max Miss Bleet Toby tricks Zack

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The world cup is over – boo hoo!  Only stupid sisters like Arabella and Jessica are pleased about that.  Never mind, the football season starts soon!

Sports day was wicked. Toby and Eli hid in the sacks and Miss Bleet thought they were haunted.  And then Neb blended in with the sand in the long jump and tickled all the jumpers’ feet!

Next, Max and I won the leapfrog race! Lucinda and Tiffany were in the lead but they kept stopping to make sure that they weren’t showing their pants so we beat them easy peasy – and without the gargoylz help. 

But you can never keep the gargoylz quiet for long and soon they were playing a trick.  Mr Widget was selling his homemade lemonade to the parents. First Theo distracted him by doing his kitten impression. While he was busy shooing him off, Zack popped invisible and stuck a pin in all the plastic cups. Every time Mr Widget went to serve a drink he was showered in lemonade! He was so sweet and sticky he got chased by wasps. He zoomed down the 50m sprint faster than all the year 6 kids and won the race!  (The wasps came second.)

On Monday we’ve got a school trip. We’re going to an open air theatre to see a play by some bloke called Shakespeare.  Mrs Hogsbum says it will be really good so it definitely won’t be.  We’re going to get all the gargoylz to come along. They’ll have fun and Ira can make it rain during the boring bits which will probably be all the time.

Categories: Gargoylz, Pranks
Tags: Ben Eli Ira Lucinda Max Miss Bleet Mr Weedy Widget Mrs Hogsbum Neb Shakespeare Sports Day Toby Zack

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Ben nearly got away with hiding in the stockroom last Friday. It would have been okay if he hadn’t knocked a box of rulers on to the floor just as Miss Bleet opened the stockroom door. When she’d stopped shaking and shrieking about ghosts she spotted him hiding on the top shelf. He had to stay in and clean all the paint pots. By the time she came back to check he’d done it properly he was covered in green paint. She started shrieking about monsters and scuttled off to the staffroom. 

 When we told Bart later he said it reminded him of a monster joke and we had to tell you all.  So here goes…

 What’s green and goes up and down?

A  monster on a trampoline!

Then he told us he’d been to a school recently and heard some great jokes.  Here’s two of them.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Doctor.

Doctor who?

That’s right!

Why did the toilet roll roll down the hill?

To get to the bottom!

Must stop now and put a toothbrush and a pair of pants in my rucksack. I’m going to sleep over at Ben’s for the whole weekend. We’re going to play tricks with the gargoylz. I wonder what they’ve got planned. See you next week.

Categories: Gargoylz, jokes
Tags: Bart Ben Gargoylz jokes Max Miss Bleet

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School has been wonderful! Mrs Hogbum is stuck out in Mongolia because of the volcano that’s erupting in Iceland. She can’t fly back. Obviously she forgot to pack her broomstick when she went on holiday. Ha ha! The volcano will be in such trouble. It’s probably broken school rule number one million and five: volcanos must not erupt and stop head teachers getting back for the start of term.

Anyway, it’s 4 o’clock and we’re in the ICT room. The bell went half an hour ago. Unfortunately our mums signed us up for computer club with Mr Weedy Widget! They said it would make us behave sensibly after we got into trouble for making Lucinda shriek in English. Well it’s not our fault if she does that when she sees a skeleton.  Good old Rufus. He loomed up outside the classroom window right by her desk. It was awesome.

We tried to get out of computer club. Bart wanted us to go and play with all the gargoylz after school and he looked so sad when we said we couldn’t that we were determined not to let him down. When the bell rang I told Miss Bleet that I had the Mercury measles – like the Martian measles but with bigger spots – and Max said he was allergic to mice, especially wireless ones. Miss Bleet looked like she believed us but then Mrs Hogsbottom stalked past. She told us we were being outrageous and breaking School Rule number two hundred and seventeen – Boys must not pretend to have impossible diseases to get out of computer club.

So now we’re meant to be learning how to do research on the Internet but I’m secretly blogging instead. Max is looking up jokes and acting as superspy look out. He’s found some great jokes for Bart. That should cheer him up. Trouble is which one would work best? See what you think.

Q.  On which day do monsters eat people?
A.  Chewsday.

Q.  What is a sea monster’s favorite dish?
A.  Fish and ships.

Q. What’s big, heavy, furry, dangerous and has 16 wheels?
A.  A monster on roller-skates.

Let us know which one you like best.

Ow! Max just kicked me under the table. Here comes Mr Widget…

Categories: Gargoylz, jokes
Tags: Bart Ben computer club jokes Lucinda Max Miss Bleet Mr Weedy Widget Mrs Hogsbum Rufus volcano

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Max Black updating all you Gargoylz fans.

Ben didn’t flick screens quick enough but Miss Bleet was really interested in the coconut snowballs especially when we told her they were a traditional Swiss food. We had to make some and take them into the class for show and tell and Miss Bleet ate seven! Then she turned a bit green and had to sit in the corner for the rest of the day, with her head in the sick bucket. 

Anyway, here’s Barney’s recipe for you all…

Coconut Snowballz

Warning – very tasty
Warning – containz coconut

You need…

225g digestive biscuits
100g desiccated coconut
2 tablespoonz cocoa powder
1 tin condensed milk 397g
50g coconut for rolling

A bowl
Rolling pin
Sieve
Plate for the rolling coconut
Container or plate for storing

What you do…

Crush the biscuits with the rolling pin. (You can put them in a plastic bag first so that they stay in one place.) Then put the crushed biscuits in the bowl.

Add the coconut and the condensed milk.

Add the cocoa powder, sieving it into the bowl.

Stir. It’s a big gloopy mixture!

Put the spare coconut on a large plate ready for rolling.

When it’s all mixed in, wash handz then scoop up a ball of the mixture – about the size of a ping pong ball. Make it nice and round, roll it in the spare coconut and then put it on the container or plate.

Do this until all the mixture is used up. You should have a pile of coconut snowballz. 

Put them in the fridge for about an hour.  Then eat – or share! 

Keep any left over in the fridge.

We don’t think you’ll have any left over! In fact I made some earlier and Mum told me I had to leave some for Jessica. But I sort of forgot. I can hear her yells so she must have just discovered the empty plate.

Urgent mission – hide!

Categories: Gargoylz
Tags: Ben Coconut Snowballs Max Miss Bleet

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Ben Neal, superspy, here at the classroom computer.

Miss Bleet couldn’t believe it when she saw the beetle on her desk. She was wittering on about how it must be a homing beetle when Zack popped invisible and dropped it down her back. She had stopped screaming by home time.

Max and I have had an awesome footie competition this week.  It was Superspies v. Gargoylz. Max and I won on Monday night and the gargoylz won on Tuesday night – but that’s only because they cheated. We’d told Zack he couldn’t go invisible but he forgot and scored five goals.  So Wednesday’s match was the decider. But we’d only just got started when the Basher turned up. He’d seen something going on from his bedroom window.

The gargoylz just managed to hide in time but Max and I were too slow. Barry stormed over, snatched the ball and lobbed it up onto the school roof. Then he stood there laughing at us. Of course, getting your ball back from a high place is no problem when you’ve got secret gargoyle friends, but Barry doesn’t know that we have. And we couldn’t ask them to get it with him standing there. But then suddenly he shouted that there was a snake in the grass and he ran away! 

Good old Eli. His secret power is brilliant. Toby flew up and got the ball and we carried on with the match. At ten-all we decided to call the whole thing a draw!

Bart has just appeared at the window. He’s looking worried. I wonder what he wants. We’ll let you know next week . . .

Categories: Enemy agents, Gargoylz, Pranks
Tags: Barry the Basher Bart Eli football Gargoylz Miss Bleet snake Toby Zack

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Hi! Agent Black here on the classroom computer.

(Superspy secret note: must not let anyone in class see this blog!)

Our cake for Lucinda was the best surprise fairy cake in the history of best surprise fairy cakes. It was all pink and girly with pretty little icing shapes we found in the cupboard. (Bleurgh!)

 Lucinda didn’t like it! I don’t know why. We got Zack to pop invisible and sneak it onto her desk before school on Monday. Then we made sure we didn’t go into the classroom until Lucinda was already inside so that we couldn’t be accused of anything. Poppy and Tiffany and the others crowded round the cake, going ooh and ahh. We went ooh and ahh too, so it didn’t look suspicious.

Lucinda said she’d love to share it but it was too small so she’d have to eat it all herself. Then she took a big bite.

She didn’t know we’d put a plastic beetle on a spring inside it. As soon as she got her teeth into the cake the beetle popped up and her face got splattered with pink sloppy icing!

We made sure we kept our faces straight. Ben even got a cloth and wiped the icing off her dress. It wasn’t his fault the icing got spread around even further – it was Lucinda’s because she was screeching and flapping her arms about.

We could see Zack, Barney, Bart and Azzan at the window rolling about laughing. They soon ducked when Miss Bleet flung it open to release the toy beetle into the wild. After that, the beetle kept turning up in funny places – thanks to the gargoylz.

In fact I’ve just noticed that it’s now lurking on Miss Bleet’s desk . . .

Uh-oh. She’s coming! Must sign off fast.

Categories: Enemy agents, Gargoylz, Pranks
Tags: Gargoylz Lucinda Miss Bleet tricks Zack

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Hi! Ben Neal soaptastic superspy here.

Remember Miss Bleet’s lunchbox and us swapping the grated cheese for grated soap? Well, Miss Bleet foamed at the mouth all afternoon. Mrs Hogbum thought she had some dreadful disease and sent her home before we all got it. Trouble is, the trick didn’t work quite as well as it should have done because Mrs H. took us for the rest of the day and said ‘outrageous’ two hundred and fifty-seven times.

Azzan is helping me go through some old pictures of me as a baby. (It’s very kind of him but he’s singed half of them!) We’ve got to take one of our baby photos into school next week for everyone to guess who’s who.  Azzan has just found a gruesome picture of my sister Arabella when she was one. She was so ugly!  Of course she’s even uglier now.

 Anyway we’ve thought of a cool trick.  I’m going to take the picture of Arabella in.  No one will guess it’s me because it isn’t!  And if Miss Bleet complains, I’ll just give her my innocent wide eyed smile.  It worked on Mrs Simmer today at lunch – she gave me extra jam on my rice pudding. 

Can’t wait to see Arabella’s face when she catches sight of the photo in the school hall.  Must remember to take earplugs to school on Monday so I can put them in when she starts shrieking. I’m off to phone Max and tell him all about it.

We’ll report back to you all next week . . .

Categories: Enemy agents, Gargoylz, Pranks
Tags: Arabella Azzan Gargoylz Miss Bleet Mrs Hogsbum soap tricks

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Agent Max Black signing in to the secret superspy blog on our classroom computer.

The teacher snow trap was brilliant…

We arrived at school early on Monday and got Eli and Cyrus to pile up loads of snow on the roof just above the staffroom window. The plan was that we’d throw a snowball at the window and when one of the teachers stuck their head out to see who’d done it, Eli and Cyrus would give them a snow shower.

Brilliant plan, Agent Black, I hear you say.

Well, Ben threw the snowball and we got ready to watch the fun. The window flew open and Mrs Hogsbum stuck her beaky nose out! I don’t know how she knew we’d done it but she went purple and told us it’s against school rule number three hundred and six to knock on the staffroom window with a snowball. She was in the middle of a very loud ‘Outrageous!’ when Eli and Cyrus pushed the whole pile of snow down on top of her head. Awesome avalanche! She looked very funny with icicles sticking out of her hair.

The snow’s all gone now but there’s plenty of other ways to play tricks. I’ve just noticed that Miss Bleet has left her lunchbox open. Ben and I are off to swap her grated cheese for grated soap! Can’t wait to see what happens. We’ll tell you next week!

See you then fellow agents…

Categories: Enemy agents, Gargoylz, Pranks
Tags: Ben Cyrus Eli Max Black Miss Bleet Mrs Hogsbum snow

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