Well the trick with the wet sponge worked but not exactly as we meant. We got the bucket and the sponge up in the bedroom without Ben’s mum seeing.  Ben stood at the window waiting for Arabella to pass but Toby got really excited and threw the sponge too soon.  Ben hadn’t managed to get the window open and the sponge bounced off the glass and hit him in the face! It was funny!

We had the worst lesson in the history of worst lessons today at school. Mr Widget took us for country dancing out in the playground. Yuck! If that wasn’t bad enough we had to dance with girls. Double Yuck! And if that wasn’t bad enough, Mr Widget played the tunes on his bagpipes.  We had to stick cotton wool in our ears.  We wondered about asking Zack to use his pin like he did last time and pop the bagpipes but Mr Widget had wrapped them in a sort of pin-proof bag. We sent out an urgent message to the gargoylz (paper aeroplane over the church wall) and along came Jelly.

Jelly was awesome. He glooped into a bouncy ball and bounced across the playground and then shot up the bottom pipe of the bagpipes into the bag. Then Jelly began to jump about inside. Poor Mr Widget could hardly hold on to the bagpipes, they were wriggling so much. He played faster and faster until we all fell over in a heap.  Mrs Hogsbum leant out of her window and said he’d broken school rule number 855– teachers must not play musical instruments that wriggle.

Country dancing was over – result!

Got to go.  Nan’s coming round and she’s promised to bring cakes.  Toby, Neb and Eli have just arrived so I’ve got to make sure there are some left for me!

Categories: News
Tags: Arabella bagpipes Ben cakes Mr Weedy Widget Mrs Hogsbum school rule Toby tricks Zack

5

Our Valentine’s day trick worked awesomely – and you won’t believe who we played it on!  Mrs Hogsbottom! 

When it was first playtime we got Theo to sneak a special homemade Valentine card on to her desk.  Mr Duster, the caretaker, nearly caught him but he turned into a kitten just in time and we didn’t see him for hours as Mr Duster scooped him up, gave him a cushion in his broom cupboard and found some tuna for him.  Toby tried to rescue him but Theo said he didn’t want to be rescued as he was enjoying himself. 

Anyway, we didn’t know that was all happening because Ben, Azzan, Ira and I were hiding under Mrs Hogsbum’s window waiting to see what would happen when she read her card.  Ira had written the verse and it said (in wobbly writing as he had to hold the pencil in his beak)…

Yo ho ho
And a bottle of ink
You’ve got a big nose
And you stink.

When Mrs Hogsbum came into her room and read the card she bellowed ‘Outrageous’ and the whole school heard it. Then she insisted on finding out who had written Ira’s card so she stormed round the school making everyone go into the hall and write out the poem so she could check our writing. Even the teachers! In the end she decided that Mr Widget who had sent it! Well, his writing was very wobbly with her breathing down his neck! She yelled ‘Outrageous’ another hundred and fifty times and told Mr Widget that he’d broken School Rule number 636 – Teachers must not send rude Valentine cards to the head teacher! She said he’d have to stay in at playtime!

It’s half term next week and Ben and I are going to Lasershoot.  Arabella and Jessica are going too so we’ve got to think up a really good trick so they won’t go there ever again.

Categories: Enemy agents, Gargoylz, Pranks
Tags: Azzan Ben Gargoylz Ira Max Mr Duster Mr Weedy Widget Mrs Hogsbum Theo Toby

10

Max’s trick on his dad didn’t quite go to plan but it was very funny.  He rubbed lead from a pencil on a pair of glasses but he didn’t realise his mum was going to borrow them for a second to write a note. Then she took them off and set off to fetch Jessica from Brownies and as it was cold she put her furry hat on as well. It’s got two points like ears. Brown Owl thought she’d come dressed as a great horned owl! And Max’s mum never understood why. The lead had rubbed off by the time she got home so she just thinks that Brown Owl is owl-obsessed!

We thought school was going to be really boring today because Mr Widget was leading Year Four on a snowdrop hunt!  We were waiting in the playground to set off for Oldacre Wood when Barry Price, codename: The Basher, barged into us.  He knocked me flying and I dropped my gloves in a puddle which made him really laugh and made my hands really cold. Max lent me one of his and we had to keep swapping to stop our fingers freezing and snapping off!

When we reached the wood, we had to search for snowdrops. The girls all shrieked with delight and ran around poking and prodding in the leaves. Max and I mooched about. I mean, who wants to find flowers in a place full of great trees to climb? But then we heard some gargoyly giggling and Zack and Neb popped up. They’d seen what had happened in the playground and had brought me some of the vicar’s gloves to borrow. They were a bit big but nice and cosy.  Then we got ready to play a trick on Barry Price to pay him back for being so mean. We got Zack to pop invisible and Neb to blend with the wood and take the vicar’s big gloves and sit in the oldest, tallest, spookiest looking tree in the wood. Then we told Barry that no one had ever climbed that tree as it was haunted. Of course the Basher went straight up it. As soon as Barry was up high, and sneering down at us, Zack and Neb put the vicar’s gloves on and waved them in Barry’s face. Zack wailed that he was the Ghastly Glove Ghost and he hoped no one had been nasty or he would scare them till their hair fell out. Barry hasn’t got much hair but he was still terrified. Then Zack said in a really spooky voice that only thing the Basher could do to make up for it, was to pick the biggest snowdrop he could find for teacher. Barry jumped down the tree immediately. It was so funny to see him scampering about trying to find the biggest flower for Mr Widget. And when he did Mr Widget told him off as no one’s was meant to pick the snowdrops. He didn’t listen when Barry said that the Ghastly Glove Ghost had told him to do it. It was awesome!

We’re back at school now and I’ve got a few minutes on the class computer. The Basher hasn’t said a word to anyone since we got back. That makes a change. Uh oh! He’s staring at the vicar’s gloves that Zack and Neb scared him with. They’re sticking out of my pocket. I forgot to take them back to the gargoylz so they could take them back to the vicar.

I think he suspects that Max and I had something to do with the Ghastly Glove Ghost. We’re going to be in BIG TROUBLE! HELP!

Categories: Enemy agents, Gargoylz, Pranks
Tags: Barry the Basher Ben Gargoylz Jessica Max Mr Weedy Widget Neb Zack

2

I’m on the class computer and I’m supposed to be looking up tea cosies through the ages.   (I don’t even know what tea cosies are but they’re sure to be stupid if Miss Bleet’s interested in them!)

We had an awesome day on Sunday – a whole day of footie training.  It was run by Oldacre Town FC and we actually played on their pitch.  Ben and I had just started dribbling practice when someone else turned up – Barry Price.  And he’d brought his four cousins with him.  They barged about with the Basher, crashing into kids and spoiling everything.

Then we had a five-a-side competition.  Ben and I were in a team with Duncan and two boys we didn’t know.  We won our first match one-nil – Ben scored a dazzler – but then disaster struck.  We had to play Barry’s team with the Basher in goal.  They all flattened us like bulldozers.  They should have been red carded but the ref was scared of them.

Then the gargoylz came to the rescue. It was nearly the end of the match and we were five goals down and we heard a whisper from under the away bench.  It was Zack and Jelly.  They’d come to watch and realised we needed an emergency gargoyle trick.

Before we knew what had happened Jelly had turned into a squashy ball.  Zack popped invisible and suddenly the Jelly ball was sailing towards the goal.  Zack must have thrown him!  Barry thought it was the real ball and dived to save it. It got stuck to his hands and his cousins all rushed up to pull it off him. While they were doing that Ben and I both scored a hat trick and won the match six-five! And the best thing was that Barry and his cousins got told off for playing with a baby’s toy.

We were really helpful at the end of the match. We unstuck the ‘baby’s toy’ and said we’d get rid of it. The Basher and his cousins all scowled at us and we managed not to laugh as we took Jelly away.

Right got to go and find some tins of food.  Mrs Hogsbottom has ordered us to bring things in for the harvest festival next week.  She and Mr Widget are going to make a display and then all the food is going to be given to the old people in the village.  Mrs Hogsbum has told us that anyone who doesn’t do this will be breaking School Rule Number 836 – Children must not forget to bring in food for the Harvest Festival when the head teacher has ordered them to do it.

Whoops!  Here comes Miss Bleet and I haven’t found out what a tea cosy is.

Categories: News
Tags: Barry the Basher Ben football Gargoylz Jelly Max Miss Bleet Mr Weedy Widget Mrs Hogsbum Zack

6

The world cup is over – boo hoo!  Only stupid sisters like Arabella and Jessica are pleased about that.  Never mind, the football season starts soon!

Sports day was wicked. Toby and Eli hid in the sacks and Miss Bleet thought they were haunted.  And then Neb blended in with the sand in the long jump and tickled all the jumpers’ feet!

Next, Max and I won the leapfrog race! Lucinda and Tiffany were in the lead but they kept stopping to make sure that they weren’t showing their pants so we beat them easy peasy – and without the gargoylz help. 

But you can never keep the gargoylz quiet for long and soon they were playing a trick.  Mr Widget was selling his homemade lemonade to the parents. First Theo distracted him by doing his kitten impression. While he was busy shooing him off, Zack popped invisible and stuck a pin in all the plastic cups. Every time Mr Widget went to serve a drink he was showered in lemonade! He was so sweet and sticky he got chased by wasps. He zoomed down the 50m sprint faster than all the year 6 kids and won the race!  (The wasps came second.)

On Monday we’ve got a school trip. We’re going to an open air theatre to see a play by some bloke called Shakespeare.  Mrs Hogsbum says it will be really good so it definitely won’t be.  We’re going to get all the gargoylz to come along. They’ll have fun and Ira can make it rain during the boring bits which will probably be all the time.

Categories: Gargoylz, Pranks
Tags: Ben Eli Ira Lucinda Max Miss Bleet Mr Weedy Widget Mrs Hogsbum Neb Shakespeare Sports Day Toby Zack

3

Posted by Ben Neal

I’ve got to tell you what happened to Max and me last Friday after school.  We were about to rush home to watch the World Cup match when Mrs Hogbottom came marching into the class and said that everyone who was signed up for the basket weaving club with Mr Widget should go to the hall. Well that wasn’t us!  Max and I made for the door to go home, laughing about the silly basket weavers, when Mrs Hogsbum asked us where did we think we were going?  Our mothers had signed us up for the club. We were going to miss the match!

There was nothing to be done.  Mr Widget told us to make dog baskets to sell at the school fair. We decided to make a mouse basket instead so we’d finish and at least get home for half time.

Then we had a brilliant idea. Max went to the window and called the gargoylz over. He asked Cyrus to sing everyone else to sleep so that we could escape.

But then double disaster! Cyrus didn’t give us any warning to put our fingers in our ears and we heard him sing and both fell asleep as well. When we woke up it was one minute to four. We wouldn’t get home for kick off.

And now I’m going to surprise you because Mr Weedy Widget did a wonderful thing, for the first time ever. When he woke up he yawned and told us he had a surprise for us.  He moved aside all the wicker and straws to reveal a TV!  And we watched the match!

Tonight is going to be awesome. England are playing Algeria and I’m going to Max’s house for a sleepover so we can watch it together on the TV in his bedroom. We’ve told the gargoylz they can watch with us but NO TRICKS!

Categories: Gargoylz, Pranks, world cup
Tags: Ben Cyrus football Gargoylz Max Mr Weedy Widget Mrs Hogsbum world cup

0

Agent Max Black reporting.

Poor Ben. His computer came back from being fixed and his dad took it away for another week. All because Arabella made a silly fuss about him using her laptop without asking.

Half term is about to start!  Ben and I are going camping with our families.  Problem is we’ve got to take Jessica and Arabella.

Today in school, Mr Widget brought in his bagpipes and gave us a concert in the hall for an hour.  It was awful.  It sounded like an elephant with toothache. We had to do something and we knew just who to ask for help – the gargoylz!  We quickly devised a secret plan – Stop the Bagpipes.

We asked to go to the toilet but Miss Bleet insisted on walking us there.  Luckily she didn’t come inside.  We climbed on a toilet and stuck our heads out of the window.  Even there we could hear the bagpipes.  Ben gave a whistle and Toby came flying over.  We asked him to find Zack and told him our secret plan.    

We went back to the hall.  Mr Widget was droning away at ‘the wheels on the bus go round and round.’ Nothing happened for a bit but then Ben and I saw the glint of a pin sailing through the air and heading straight for the bagpipes.  Our secret plan was working. The next second there was a terrible wheezing sound and the bagpipes deflated!  They sounded like one of Barney’s best bottom burps. Mrs Hogsbottom shouted “Outrageous!” and told Mr Widget he’d have to stay behind after school. He had broken school rule number 854 – teachers must not make rude noises when playing musical instruments. 

 Mum’s yelling at me to get packed. Can’t wait for our camping trip.  Ben and I are sharing a tent – with the gargoylz of course.  We’re going to make a secret plan to scare our pesky sisters. Tell you all about it next week.

Categories: Gargoylz, Pranks
Tags: Barney Ben camping Max Black Mr Weedy Widget Mrs Hogsbum Toby Zack

6

Blog writer: Agent Black

Mrs Hogsbum is back – worst luck.  She couldn’t wait for a flight so she hired a donkey all the way to Oldacre School.  Don’t know how it managed to swim the Channel!

Up early this morning and I’ve just played a great trick on my annoying little sister, Jessica. Mum’s going to call her for breakfast at any moment and I’ve swapped her boiled egg for rubber egg I got from the joke shop. It looks very realistic. She’s going to get so cross when she can’t break the shell.

Last Friday at computer (boring) club I clicked off the blog just as Mr Widget came up. Unfortunately he caught sight of a picture of Toby on the blog page so I had to pretend that I was researching Gargoyles of the World. Mr Widget said the picture looked nothing like a real gargoyle. He’d have a fit if he knew the truth – which he never will.

Anyway Toby overheard what Mr Widget said about him so he decided to play a trick on him.  He got Zack to pop invisible and go and borrow some green food colouring from the vicar’s kitchen. He put it in Mr Widget’s tea, so when Mr Widget drank it he went green all round his mouth. We went and told Mrs Hogsbum. She didn’t believe us until she came along and saw him. She told him he’d broken school rule number five hundred and thirty-two – teachers must not go green without permission. Computer club finished early – good result!

And then we told Bart all the jokes and he cheered up immediately so double good result.

Oh dear! Dad’s on the warpath. It turns out that Jessica hit the rubber egg so hard it bounced out, hit Dad’s spoon and splattered him with cornflakes and milk. For some reason they think it’s my fault. Got to go!

Categories: Gargoylz, Pranks, jokes
Tags: Bart Gargoylz Max Mr Weedy Widget Pranks Toby Zack

9

School has been wonderful! Mrs Hogbum is stuck out in Mongolia because of the volcano that’s erupting in Iceland. She can’t fly back. Obviously she forgot to pack her broomstick when she went on holiday. Ha ha! The volcano will be in such trouble. It’s probably broken school rule number one million and five: volcanos must not erupt and stop head teachers getting back for the start of term.

Anyway, it’s 4 o’clock and we’re in the ICT room. The bell went half an hour ago. Unfortunately our mums signed us up for computer club with Mr Weedy Widget! They said it would make us behave sensibly after we got into trouble for making Lucinda shriek in English. Well it’s not our fault if she does that when she sees a skeleton.  Good old Rufus. He loomed up outside the classroom window right by her desk. It was awesome.

We tried to get out of computer club. Bart wanted us to go and play with all the gargoylz after school and he looked so sad when we said we couldn’t that we were determined not to let him down. When the bell rang I told Miss Bleet that I had the Mercury measles – like the Martian measles but with bigger spots – and Max said he was allergic to mice, especially wireless ones. Miss Bleet looked like she believed us but then Mrs Hogsbottom stalked past. She told us we were being outrageous and breaking School Rule number two hundred and seventeen – Boys must not pretend to have impossible diseases to get out of computer club.

So now we’re meant to be learning how to do research on the Internet but I’m secretly blogging instead. Max is looking up jokes and acting as superspy look out. He’s found some great jokes for Bart. That should cheer him up. Trouble is which one would work best? See what you think.

Q.  On which day do monsters eat people?
A.  Chewsday.

Q.  What is a sea monster’s favorite dish?
A.  Fish and ships.

Q. What’s big, heavy, furry, dangerous and has 16 wheels?
A.  A monster on roller-skates.

Let us know which one you like best.

Ow! Max just kicked me under the table. Here comes Mr Widget…

Categories: Gargoylz, jokes
Tags: Bart Ben computer club jokes Lucinda Max Miss Bleet Mr Weedy Widget Mrs Hogsbum Rufus volcano

9