Last day of school! Hurray!

The play was awesome!  There were witches and walking trees and ghosts.  And at the end, the baddie, who was called Macbeth, got his head cut off and someone held it up.  It looked really real and dripped with blood and the Basher burst out crying. We didn’t need Ira to make it rain at all but we forgot to tell him so the whole audience got soaked! 

Anyway, the gargoylz really liked it so they invited us to go and watch them put on their version of the play in the churchyard. It was called MacGargoyle. Zack was MacGargoyle and he kept disappearing so it was hard to follow what was going on. Rufus, Eli and Azzan were the walking trees but they only had two leaves and a dandelion between them. We tried not to laugh. MacGargoyle’s head was a balloon with a face drawn on it so when Toby lifted it up, the wind blew it away and it popped on the spire.

Bart has just nudged my elbow.  He wants me to tell you a joke he heard in a school recently.

Q. What do you call an exploding ape?

A. A ba-boom!

We’re off to an amusement park on Monday – hurrah!

Categories: Gargoylz, jokes
Tags: Azzan Barry the Basher Bart Eli Gargoylz Ira jokes Rufus Shakespeare Toby Zack

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The world cup is over – boo hoo!  Only stupid sisters like Arabella and Jessica are pleased about that.  Never mind, the football season starts soon!

Sports day was wicked. Toby and Eli hid in the sacks and Miss Bleet thought they were haunted.  And then Neb blended in with the sand in the long jump and tickled all the jumpers’ feet!

Next, Max and I won the leapfrog race! Lucinda and Tiffany were in the lead but they kept stopping to make sure that they weren’t showing their pants so we beat them easy peasy – and without the gargoylz help. 

But you can never keep the gargoylz quiet for long and soon they were playing a trick.  Mr Widget was selling his homemade lemonade to the parents. First Theo distracted him by doing his kitten impression. While he was busy shooing him off, Zack popped invisible and stuck a pin in all the plastic cups. Every time Mr Widget went to serve a drink he was showered in lemonade! He was so sweet and sticky he got chased by wasps. He zoomed down the 50m sprint faster than all the year 6 kids and won the race!  (The wasps came second.)

On Monday we’ve got a school trip. We’re going to an open air theatre to see a play by some bloke called Shakespeare.  Mrs Hogsbum says it will be really good so it definitely won’t be.  We’re going to get all the gargoylz to come along. They’ll have fun and Ira can make it rain during the boring bits which will probably be all the time.

Categories: Gargoylz, Pranks
Tags: Ben Eli Ira Lucinda Max Miss Bleet Mr Weedy Widget Mrs Hogsbum Neb Shakespeare Sports Day Toby Zack

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Posted by Max Black

Bart’s spiders in the sleeping bags trick was great! Bart burped his spiders and then we all hid nearby and listened. As soon as Arabella and Jessica got into bed they gave a shriek and flapped about so much that the tent collapsed on top of them!

On the way home we stopped for a picnic by a church. When we got the food out half of it had gone and everyone thought Ben and I had eaten it. We said it wasn’t us (which was true), it must have been rats (which wasn’t true but it made Jessica squeal). We knew who’d been at the picnic hamper really – the gargoylz.

 Then we lost Bart and our parents were telling us to hurry up and get in the car. We couldn’t go without him and we guessed that he must be in the old church.  So we told our mums and dads we had to have a quick look around the church.  We said it was for a school project. (That always shuts parents up.)

Time for secret plan – Find Bart.  We took all the gargoylz with us and started searching inside. Then we heard gargoyly chuckling coming from the font. And there was Bart having a bath.  But before we could get him the door at the back opened and the vicar came in! Bart just managed to climb on to the end of a nearby pew and freeze like a statue. We quickly pretended to be admiring him. The vicar was really surprised to see Bart there. He said he didn’t remember an ugly statue like that being in the church yesterday, especially a wet one. Toby whispered from the rafters that it wouldn’t be there tomorrow either and we had to make sure we didn’t giggle till the vicar had gone. Zack wanted to pop invisible and trick the vicar by ringing the church bells but then Arabella shouted that we were going so we had to rush back to the cars and make sure all the gargoylz got in the boot.

We’re looking forward to tonight. Straight after school we’re going to watch the first match of the World Cup!  South Africa v Mexico.  We expect all our readers will be watching too. And tomorrow it’s England’s first match – Goaltastic!

Categories: Enemy agents, Gargoylz, Pranks, world cup
Tags: Arabella Bart Ben football Jessica Max Toby vicar world cup

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Posted by Ben from Sunnybrook Campsite.

It’s raining this afternoon so we’ve come to an Internet café to catch up with our blog. Our mums and dads are writing postcards and Arabella is teaching Jessica how to make friendship bracelets. (Yuck!)

We’re having a great holiday. This campsite is awesome. There’s an adventure playground and a swimming pool. But best of all, Max and I are sharing a tent.

It’s a bit crowded as the gargoylz have all come with us and they insist on getting in our sleeping bags at night. Gargoylz don’t get cold but Rufus explained that they want to do the whole camping thing properly.

Toby’s just popped up from under the table. He’s reminded me to tell you about the fantastic trick we played on our pesky sisters.

We told them that there was a haunted toilet on the campsite. Of course they didn’t believe us so we dared them to go and look. Neb was already in there, using his special power to blend in with the background. As soon as the girls came along he made ghostly noises, flapped the lid up and down and flushed the chain. They screamed so loudly we had to put our fingers in our ears!

Something completely amazing is happening next Friday.  The World Cup is starting!  Poor old Bart thought that the World Cup must be an enormous cup of tea and we had to explain that it was in fact the best football competition in the history of best football competitions. 

Anyway, it looks like the rain’s stopping so we’re off to have a match in the mud. Off home tomorrow – worst luck, but tonight Bart’s going to burp spiders into the girls’ sleeping bags! Awesome!

Categories: Gargoylz, Pranks
Tags: Arabella Bart camping Jessica Neb Toby world cup

4

Agent Max Black reporting.

Poor Ben. His computer came back from being fixed and his dad took it away for another week. All because Arabella made a silly fuss about him using her laptop without asking.

Half term is about to start!  Ben and I are going camping with our families.  Problem is we’ve got to take Jessica and Arabella.

Today in school, Mr Widget brought in his bagpipes and gave us a concert in the hall for an hour.  It was awful.  It sounded like an elephant with toothache. We had to do something and we knew just who to ask for help – the gargoylz!  We quickly devised a secret plan – Stop the Bagpipes.

We asked to go to the toilet but Miss Bleet insisted on walking us there.  Luckily she didn’t come inside.  We climbed on a toilet and stuck our heads out of the window.  Even there we could hear the bagpipes.  Ben gave a whistle and Toby came flying over.  We asked him to find Zack and told him our secret plan.    

We went back to the hall.  Mr Widget was droning away at ‘the wheels on the bus go round and round.’ Nothing happened for a bit but then Ben and I saw the glint of a pin sailing through the air and heading straight for the bagpipes.  Our secret plan was working. The next second there was a terrible wheezing sound and the bagpipes deflated!  They sounded like one of Barney’s best bottom burps. Mrs Hogsbottom shouted “Outrageous!” and told Mr Widget he’d have to stay behind after school. He had broken school rule number 854 – teachers must not make rude noises when playing musical instruments. 

 Mum’s yelling at me to get packed. Can’t wait for our camping trip.  Ben and I are sharing a tent – with the gargoylz of course.  We’re going to make a secret plan to scare our pesky sisters. Tell you all about it next week.

Categories: Gargoylz, Pranks
Tags: Barney Ben camping Max Black Mr Weedy Widget Mrs Hogsbum Toby Zack

6

Blog writer: Agent Black

Mrs Hogsbum is back – worst luck.  She couldn’t wait for a flight so she hired a donkey all the way to Oldacre School.  Don’t know how it managed to swim the Channel!

Up early this morning and I’ve just played a great trick on my annoying little sister, Jessica. Mum’s going to call her for breakfast at any moment and I’ve swapped her boiled egg for rubber egg I got from the joke shop. It looks very realistic. She’s going to get so cross when she can’t break the shell.

Last Friday at computer (boring) club I clicked off the blog just as Mr Widget came up. Unfortunately he caught sight of a picture of Toby on the blog page so I had to pretend that I was researching Gargoyles of the World. Mr Widget said the picture looked nothing like a real gargoyle. He’d have a fit if he knew the truth – which he never will.

Anyway Toby overheard what Mr Widget said about him so he decided to play a trick on him.  He got Zack to pop invisible and go and borrow some green food colouring from the vicar’s kitchen. He put it in Mr Widget’s tea, so when Mr Widget drank it he went green all round his mouth. We went and told Mrs Hogsbum. She didn’t believe us until she came along and saw him. She told him he’d broken school rule number five hundred and thirty-two – teachers must not go green without permission. Computer club finished early – good result!

And then we told Bart all the jokes and he cheered up immediately so double good result.

Oh dear! Dad’s on the warpath. It turns out that Jessica hit the rubber egg so hard it bounced out, hit Dad’s spoon and splattered him with cornflakes and milk. For some reason they think it’s my fault. Got to go!

Categories: Gargoylz, Pranks, jokes
Tags: Bart Gargoylz Max Mr Weedy Widget Pranks Toby Zack

9

Max here. I’m on Dad’s laptop so better be quick because I’m not really meant to use it. He made such a fuss when I got crisps stuck in the keyboard. Grown-ups are so silly sometimes.

I’d better explain why Bart looked so worried when he turned up at the classroom window last Friday. We found out when school was over. He was waiting for us in the churchyard. It turned out he couldn’t find any of the gargoylz anywhere so he’d come to ask us to help him look for them.

Agent Black and Agent Neal instantly leapt into action. Secret Plan: Find the Gargoylz.

We peered up at the steeple, poked round the gravestones and even stuck our heads into the church. Of course we pulled them out again double quick when we saw Aggie and Doris, Demon Flower Arrangers, inside.

There was no sign of the gargoylz anywhere. What had happened to our little stony friends?  Had they fallen down a well or got stuck in Mrs Hogsbottom’s cupboard or been kidnapped by aliens?  

Then Bart said we should look in the trees in the corner of the churchyard. Ben and I zoomed along and – SPLAT! We fell on our faces in a pool of oozy mud. When we’d got the mud out of our ears we heard a lot of gargoyle chuckling. We looked up and saw Toby, Theo, Zack and Ira laughing at us from the trees. They’d made a mud trap and covered it with leaves. It had all been Bart’s idea! We told him it was an awesome trick.

Then Bart said he had something even better – a new joke. How do you spot…—  Whoops! Dad’s coming. Tell you next week!

Categories: Gargoylz, Pranks
Tags: Bart Demon Flower Arrangers Ira Max mud Theo Toby Zack

7

Ben Neal, superspy, here at the classroom computer.

Miss Bleet couldn’t believe it when she saw the beetle on her desk. She was wittering on about how it must be a homing beetle when Zack popped invisible and dropped it down her back. She had stopped screaming by home time.

Max and I have had an awesome footie competition this week.  It was Superspies v. Gargoylz. Max and I won on Monday night and the gargoylz won on Tuesday night – but that’s only because they cheated. We’d told Zack he couldn’t go invisible but he forgot and scored five goals.  So Wednesday’s match was the decider. But we’d only just got started when the Basher turned up. He’d seen something going on from his bedroom window.

The gargoylz just managed to hide in time but Max and I were too slow. Barry stormed over, snatched the ball and lobbed it up onto the school roof. Then he stood there laughing at us. Of course, getting your ball back from a high place is no problem when you’ve got secret gargoyle friends, but Barry doesn’t know that we have. And we couldn’t ask them to get it with him standing there. But then suddenly he shouted that there was a snake in the grass and he ran away! 

Good old Eli. His secret power is brilliant. Toby flew up and got the ball and we carried on with the match. At ten-all we decided to call the whole thing a draw!

Bart has just appeared at the window. He’s looking worried. I wonder what he wants. We’ll let you know next week . . .

Categories: Enemy agents, Gargoylz, Pranks
Tags: Barry the Basher Bart Eli football Gargoylz Miss Bleet snake Toby Zack

9

Ben Neal, top trickster, signing in . . .

Max and I rushed off to the church really early last Saturday morning to see what prank Toby was going to play on the choir. Toby was waiting for us in the porch and Cyrus was with him. They wouldn’t tell us what the trick was going to be. It was a surprise.

We all crept into the church and hid behind the font. The choir were sitting in rows, warbling some soppy song about love (yuck!) for a wedding (double yuck!). Cyrus crept up behind them and started singing along – and you all know what happens when Cyrus uses his special power! Max and I stuffed our fingers in our ears, but the whole choir slowly fell asleep and slid off their seats! 

Then Toby and Cyrus started running round putting animal masks on everyone.  They said they’d borrowed them from the dressing up box at school.  When the choir woke up there was a terrible panic. One of the elephants started a stampede for the door, followed by three zebras and a newt.

Toby said it was better than watching TV.

Signing off now. Max has just arrived. We’ve decided to make a surprise cake for Lucinda Tellingly Supersneak. It’s going to have something very special in it. (Well, she shouldn’t have said our model of a T-rex looked more like a pigeon with measles.)

More next week . . . Hee hee hee!

Categories: Enemy agents, Gargoylz, Pranks
Tags: Cyrus Gargoylz Lucinda Pranks Toby tricks

0

Hello, Agent Black reporting!

Remember Ben and Azzan’s photo trick?  It should have been awesome.  All the pictures went up in the hall before school. Soon there was a deafening shriek. We put our earplugs in and rushed into the hall on our superspy propelling machines – codename feet. Arabella was yelling her head off because everyone was laughing at her picture. That is until they came across this really gruesome child holding a watering can over his head.  It was voted most ugly.  And then it turned out that Arabella had brought it in and it was Ben!  We had to hide in the boys’ toilets until the mocking stopped.  Barry the Basher Price was the worst.  He’s been on about it all week.  Until today.

Today I took my telescope (best Christmas present in the history of best Christmas presents) into school. Ben and I hid behind the bins with Toby and Zack and poked it over the top. We took it in turns to spy on Lucinda Tellingly picking her nose. But then the Basher snatched it and ran off! He was about to use it as a cricket bat when Zack popped invisible and snatched it back. It was great seeing the look on the Basher’s face when the telescope danced off in mid-air. He didn’t eat any of his chips at lunchtime. He just sat there muttering about the Telescope of Terror.

We’re going to play with the gargoylz all day tomorrow. The choir will be practising for a wedding in the church and Toby says he’s got a spectacular trick to play on them.

We’ll tell you all about it next time . . .

Categories: Enemy agents, Gargoylz, Pranks
Tags: Arabella Azzan Barry the Basher Lucinda telescope Toby tricks Zack

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