School holidays are awesome!

Today Max and I made a wonderful marble run at the bottom of my garden. It’s muddy down there so we built a mud mountain and then made twisting tracks all the way down. At the bottom we dug a tunnel that went along under the compost heap and came up on the lawn the other side. It was fantastic. Our marbles got such a run up down the mountain that they shot through the tunnel and sped on to the grass. My favourite marble – The Blue Wonder was the best. It went the furthest every time. Its record run was getting as far as the apple tree and that’s a long way across the grass!
We were just setting up for a double run which is two marbles racing each other when there was a loud Boo! I was so frightened I jumped and sat in the mud and Max dropped all his marbles.
Guess who it was! Yes, the gargoylz had come to see us and of course they had to play a trick on us. It was Eli, Theo and Abel. They were really impressed with our marble mountain and joined in the fun.
Then disaster! We heard a horrible moany voice and Arabella appeared. The gargoylz had to hide quickly. Eli turned into a snake and slithered under the compost, Theo turned into a kitten and Abel became a tree. When Arabella saw what we were doing she wanted to join in. I said no, but then she started yelling for Mum and Mum said we had to let her play.
Arabella only wanted to play to annoy us. Normally she says she’s too grown up for that sort of thing. Anyway she started bossing us about straight away. It really ruined the game especially when she demanded that she should have The Blue Wonder as she is the oldest. So I told her she couldn’t have it as it was mine. She stamped her foot and shouted and then told us that she didn’t want to play anyway and that we’d be sorry. She bent down by the tunnel to tie up her shoe and then she stalked off to the house.
Max and I cheered and the gargoylz came out of hiding. But when I sent the Blue Wonder down for its next run it didn’t come out of the tunnel. We tried to peer inside but we couldn’t see it. I was really upset. My favourite, record-breaking marble was stuck.
Lucky for me that I have a friend who can make himself tunnel-shaped. Eli turned back into a snake and shot down the tunnel to see what the problem was. He was soon out the other side with the Blue Wonder. And now we could see what had happened. There was a big lump of sticky chewing gum on my marble. Arabella must have poked the chewing gum down the tunnel with a stick when she tied up her shoe. She must have known that the next marble would run into it and then get stuck in the tunnel and that would be the end of our game.
So it’s time to plan a super trick to get Arabella back!

Categories: News
Tags: Abel Arabella Ben Eli Max Theo tricks

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Well the trick with the wet sponge worked but not exactly as we meant. We got the bucket and the sponge up in the bedroom without Ben’s mum seeing.  Ben stood at the window waiting for Arabella to pass but Toby got really excited and threw the sponge too soon.  Ben hadn’t managed to get the window open and the sponge bounced off the glass and hit him in the face! It was funny!

We had the worst lesson in the history of worst lessons today at school. Mr Widget took us for country dancing out in the playground. Yuck! If that wasn’t bad enough we had to dance with girls. Double Yuck! And if that wasn’t bad enough, Mr Widget played the tunes on his bagpipes.  We had to stick cotton wool in our ears.  We wondered about asking Zack to use his pin like he did last time and pop the bagpipes but Mr Widget had wrapped them in a sort of pin-proof bag. We sent out an urgent message to the gargoylz (paper aeroplane over the church wall) and along came Jelly.

Jelly was awesome. He glooped into a bouncy ball and bounced across the playground and then shot up the bottom pipe of the bagpipes into the bag. Then Jelly began to jump about inside. Poor Mr Widget could hardly hold on to the bagpipes, they were wriggling so much. He played faster and faster until we all fell over in a heap.  Mrs Hogsbum leant out of her window and said he’d broken school rule number 855– teachers must not play musical instruments that wriggle.

Country dancing was over – result!

Got to go.  Nan’s coming round and she’s promised to bring cakes.  Toby, Neb and Eli have just arrived so I’ve got to make sure there are some left for me!

Categories: News
Tags: Arabella bagpipes Ben cakes Mr Weedy Widget Mrs Hogsbum school rule Toby tricks Zack

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We have had three days back at school and now it’s the Royal Wedding so we’ve got another day off – awesome. But what is not awesome is that Ben and I have got a cool DVD to watch and the lounge is full of ghastly, shrieking girls. Our mums and Arabella and Jessica are having a Royal Wedding party. But I’m sure Ben and I can think of a trick to play on them, with the help of the gargoylz.

It was awesome on Wednesday. Miss Bleet had been on holiday to Belgium and had come back with a recipe for Belgian Chocolate Cookies and she was going to get us all to make them. But then she told us the bad news. We were making them for the teachers! She had decided that it was ‘Be nice to a teacher day!’

We signalled to the gargoylz that we needed their help. When the cookies were nearly finished and the delicious smell was driving us mad, it suddenly changed to the most awful pong.  We all had to rush out into the playground and when we got back inside the cookies had vanished. Miss Bleet couldn’t work out what had happened because we’d all been with her. But we knew of course – there was no mistaking one of Barney’s bottom burps. The gargoylz were trying to get everyone out so that they could snatch the cookies. The bell rang for playtime and we were about to go over to the church wall to get our share when Miss Bleet said we had to stay in and make some more cookies for the teachers.  Disaster!

But the next lot of cookies were nearly done when suddenly the fire alarm went off and the whole school had to evacuate the building. And of course, when we got back inside, the new cookies had gone too. This time Azzan had breathed fire and set the alarm off.

We had a wonderful cookie feast after school although the gargoylz had managed to eat nearly all of them by the time we got there!

Anyway, Ben’s here with some stony friends so we’ve got a secret plan to make – get the ghastly wedding watchers out of the lounge!

Categories: News
Tags: Azzan Barney Ben cookies Gargoylz Miss Bleet tricks

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The church roof has been empty all week because the gargoylz have been visiting schools for World Book Day.  Did you do anything good yesterday for World Book Day?  Which character did you dress up as?  Ben was Spyboy and I was the evil Eagleman from ‘Spyboy and the Feathery Fiend’. That’s our favourite book at the moment.

Anyway, playtimes haven’t been as much fun without our stony friends. Ben and I tried to play Super special secret agents today but we made a big mistake!  We’d planned an awesome trick on those icky girls, Lucinda, Poppy and Tiffany. All week we’ve been making confetti bombs!  They’re easy peasy. Ben got some of the thin paper bags that his mum puts sandwiches in.  We filled them with all the paper bits from Dad’s paper shredder.  Our plan was to drop them on the girls when they go to have their playtime chat under the honeysuckle. 

So we got in position and when we heard the footsteps we dropped our bombs.  But we didn’t know that the girls had been overtaken at the last minute and our paper bombs splattered all over…. Barry-the Basher-Price!

He was really angry and started rampaging about.  We were sure he was going to find us any minute when all of a sudden it began to rain over his head.  It was Ira using his special power.  Before he could say ‘you’re bashed’ the paper and water turned to papier-mâché and got stuck on his head like a sort of drippy helmet.

It took three dinner ladies and Mr Duster the caretaker to get Barry free.  And then he had to walk round school with pink bits stuck on his stubbly hair because Dad had shredded some pink paper. Mrs Hogsbottom said he’d broken School Rule number 363 – boys must not have shredded pink paper in their hair.

So Ira saved us in the nick of time.

The gargoylz are off again next week to visit more schools but we’re going to spend all weekend with them. We’ve told our mums we’ve got a brass rubbing project at the church. I wonder what we’ll get up to. 

Oh… Toby wants to know if anyone saw them this week? They were in Brighton, Essex and Kent. They hid from the teachers of course!

Categories: Enemy agents, Gargoylz, Pranks, World Book Day
Tags: Barry the Basher Ben Gargoylz Lucinda Max Mr Duster Pranks Toby tricks World Book Day

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Our sisters’ dance show was the most hilarious thing in the history of most hilarious things – and all thanks to Neb and Zack.  We told them that we needed help and they came along with us to the hall.  Of course no one else knew they were there because Neb blended against Jessica’s dance bag and Zack popped invisible. 

The show was as bad as we thought – full of dancing pixies and furry animals.  Ben and I got really fidgety.  We had to sit through ten minutes of this and Neb and Zack hadn’t played any pranks at all.  I was just telling Ben that I thought they must have gone to sleep somewhere when Mum poked us in the back.  She told us that if we didn’t keep quiet we’d be banned from playing football for a month!  So we zipped our lips while Jessica and eight other little lambs skipped about.  (They looked more like a herd of hippopotamuses.)  Then Arabella pranced on to the stage to do a dance called the Dying Duck.  She had a stupid pink costume on which was covered in feathers.  Ben and I were just agreeing that we’d never seen a pink duck before when we remembered the footie ban threat and shut up.

Arabella was jumping and twirling to some horrible twinkly music when suddenly the feathers on her dress began to fly off into the air.  We knew what was happening of course.  Invisible paws were plucking the dancing duck!  The feathers were all around Arabella like a pink blizzard.  She tried to dance on, spitting out bits of fluff when suddenly she began to spin like a top across the stage and then disappeared into the wings.  There was an earsplitting crash and that was the end of the show.  She’d bowled into the rest of the farm animals and they were all shrieking so loudly with terror they couldn’t dance.  Result!

I’m at Ben’s house now for tea and we’re going to leave some pink feathers all over her bed! 

Categories: Enemy agents, Gargoylz, Pranks
Tags: Arabella Ben Gargoylz Jessica Max Neb Pranks tricks Zack

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The trick on Arabella worked spectacularly well!  She followed Theo round to our pile of leaves, cooing at him all the time and then we burst out – with ear-splitting screeches.  She was so scared she fell over backwards and got her bottom wedged in the washing basket.  She scuttled about the garden like a tortoise until her mum freed her.

We’ve had a great half term.  We went to an activity swim at the leisure centre on Tuesday with lots of floats and inflatables.  But mostly we’ve been getting ready for Halloween on Sunday.  And there’s lots to plan.  I’m having a Halloween party and everyone has to dress up in a scary way.  Ben’s coming of course and some other friends from our class – or should I say, fiends from our class.

The gargoylz have been helping and we’ve promised them their own party when everyone else has gone home.  We’ve been making paper ghosts and shiny skeletons to decorate my bedroom.  I left a skeleton on Jessica’s pillow and waited for her screams.  But Mum found it first.  She screamed really loudly so the trick worked in a way.  Bart’s going to burp up lots of spiders for us so my bedroom will be Scary! Scary!! Scary!!!  That will keep Jessica out.

Bart was wondering if anyone has some Halloween jokes for him.  Ben has one.

Q.  Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party?

A.  Because he had no body to go with!

Bart likes that one and so does Rufus!

Abel’s joke is -

Q. Why do witches wear name badges?

A. So you can tell which witch is which! 

Don’t forget to post your Halloween jokes too.

Right, we’re off to the kitchen to practise making witch’s guts and eyeballs. We’re going to use spaghetti and lots of gungy tomato sauce that looks like blood, with mozzarella cheese balls on top. Yummy and yucky!

Categories: Enemy agents, Gargoylz, Pranks
Tags: Arabella Bart Ben Halloween Jessica Max party Pranks Theo tricks

6

My world record is safe.  Max could only find two satsumas and a pear and when he added a dried raisin he found behind the fridge, the whole thing collapsed.

The gargoylz played a trick on us yesterday!  After school, we dashed round to the churchyard to see them because we wanted to tell them that half term started today and we’d have a whole week off school to play with them.  And most importantly, we needed to start making plans for Halloween.

But the gargoylz were nowhere to be seen.  The church roof was empty.  We walked up and down but all we could see were piles of leaves that had been swept up.  We even knocked on all the tree trunks to see if they were really Abel in disguise.  It was beginning to get dark and we needed to get home.

Then suddenly there was a roar and every pile of leaves erupted like mini volcanoes.  It was all the gargoylz!  Max and I jumped and yelled in fright.  It was a cool trick. 

And we decided to try it on Arabella tonight because she had been really bossy at lunchtime today and stopped us having third helpings of chocolate sponge. She’s the bossiest monitor in the history of bossiest monitors.  She had a humungous moan at us and all we’d done was ask for I’d given Mrs Simmer my best smile and as usual it had worked.  She’d got two huge slices of cake ready on her ladle and hovering over our plates when my bossy older sister ruined it for us by telling all the dinner ladies we were greedy and didn’t deserve it.

So we went straight home from the churchyard and made a huge pile of leaves in my garden.  We’re going to hide in it the moment I’ve finished this blog.  Arabella is watching TV in the living room so Theo is going to change into a cute kitten and appear at the window. Then he’s going to lure Arabella over to our trap.  She’s going to be so scared!

Categories: Enemy agents, Gargoylz, Pranks
Tags: Abel Arabella Ben Max tricks

2

Max’s banana trick didn’t work quite as well as he thought it would. Well, he wasn’t to know that his mum had decided to do baked bananas with syrup and sugar for afters.  The whole thing got covered in melted plastic so no one could eat it. And somehow, Max got the blame!

We had a scare on Wednesday.  We were just going home when Miss Bleet reminded us about a nature project on birds that we should have done during the holidays. Boring. We were supposed to give them in on Thursday.  Of course Max and I had forgotten all about it.  We were just wondering if she’d ban us from playing football all term when the gargoylz came to our rescue.  They sneaked home with us and rolled in Dad’s vegetable patch.  When they were really sticky with earth and squashed tomatoes, they covered themselves in feathers.  Zack had brought along all the vicar’s pillows and we got the feathers from there.  Then the gargoylz climbed up in the apple tree and pretended to be birds while we took photos.  Toby flew about so we got some video shots too.  Then we quickly put them on a powerpoint and called it Unusual Birds of Oldacre.

Miss Bleet was a bit puzzled as she didn’t recognise all the types of bird, especially the Tobybird that seemed to wave at the camera, but she told our mums how well we’d done and they’ve signed us up for a footie training day on Sunday as a reward.  Can’t wait.

PS Bart has a joke…

Q. What is orange and sounds like a parrot?

A. A carrot!

Well, he thought it was funny!

Categories: Gargoylz, Pranks, jokes
Tags: Ben football Gargoylz homework jokes Max Miss Bleet Toby tricks Zack

3

We’ve been back at school for three whole days!  Term has started really early this year – loads of kids have got another week off. It’s not been too bad though.  We’ve had great fun reminding Mrs Hogsbottom about her holiday disaster.  Every time she walks by we lean sideways and hold our noses.  She mutters ‘outrageous’ under her breath but she’s so puzzled she hasn’t thought up a school rule that stops boys leaning and holding their noses.

But she did have a new school rule for something else.  The hall floor has been polished during the holidays.  It shines now and smells really funny.  And Mrs Hogsbum declared at our first assembly that School Rule number 746 says No children must make the hall floor dirty.  So she stands at the door at assembly time and we have to take our shoes off when we go in!  This was cool because the floor was slippery with just socks on and we all had a great slide.  Until she added School Rule number 747 – no children must skate in the hall when they’ve taken off their shoes to protect the polish.

Anyway Ben and I decided that it was time for the gargoylz to play a trick.  We waited until Mrs Hogsbum was in the hall.  She was bent down, with her beaky nose right by the floor looking for smudge marks.  And that was perfect.  Neb blended in with the polished wood and Zack went invisible.  They put their feet in flour and then ran round the hall.  Mrs Hogsbum went mad trying to wipe away the paw marks with her hanky.

Must go.  I have planted a plastic banana in the fruit bowl and can’t wait to see Dad take a bite.  He loves bananas.

Categories: Enemy agents, Gargoylz, Pranks
Tags: Ben Gargoylz Max Mrs Hogsbum Neb tricks Zack

3

Unfortunately Ben wasn’t fast enough hiding from Arabella and her five zillion and three photos of the dolls’ museum even though he hid on the top shelf of the airing cupboard.

Anyway he soon recovered when I told him we were going to spend the whole of the next day in my garden right away from his annoying sister.

However, I’d forgotten that my annoying sister would be around.  When we got outside, ready for a game of superspies, Jessica had taken over the whole lawn with a yucky teddy bears’ picnic and told us to go away and play indoors. 

We were about to spray her with water from the hose when Mum saw us and made us sweep the patio – and she said she was going to keep an eye on us.

We were just thinking that this wasn’t going to be a fun day after all when a pair of stony ears popped up from a pot plant.  It was Zack, and Neb was with him.  We pretended to be polishing the pot and bent down to tell them all about Jesscia taking over the garden.  Zack and Neb grinned at each other so we knew they were going to do something cool.  Zack disappeared and Neb blended with the patio stones.

When Jessica went inside to get more juice, her teddy bears began moving about.  She couldn’t believe her eyes when she came back to see Grumblytum on his head, Sleepytime Ted up a tree and Mr Fuzzyfur with his head through a hole in the fence and the others were all in a heap on the shed roof.  And half the picnic had been eaten.  She let out an ear-splitting scream and told Mum that we’d done it!  Of course Mum knew it wasn’t us as she’d been watching us making a beautiful job of the patio.  Jessica was so cross she started taking her bears inside.  We helped which made her even crosser and then we had a great game of superspies.   It’s extra good when you’ve got two vanishing gargoylz!

Bart has read a teddy bear joke in a book.

Q. What do you get if you cross a skunk with a teddy bear?
A. Winnie the Pooh!

Oh dear he’s just made one up one of his own.

Q. What do you get if you cross a bottom burping gargoyle with a teddy bear?

A. Barney the Pooh!

I’ve thought of another trick I can play on Jessica.  Going off to get tin foil and a plunger!

Categories: Gargoylz, Pranks
Tags: Arabella Bart Ben Jessica jokes Max Neb Pranks tricks Zack

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