Gargoylz Blog » vicar

Miss Bleet nearly saw our blog last week.  Just in time, Max fell off his chair and pretended he’d broken his nose so she forgot all about the tea cosies – whatever they are.

The Harvest Festival was nearly a disaster, thanks to the gargoylz!  When we told them about the food collection, they all rubbed their tummies and said it sounded like a nice feast.  We told them that the food was for the old people and they promised to leave it alone but when Max and I went to add our tins of spaghetti hoops to the pile we found that everything had been opened and scoffed.  We knew it was the gargoylz because there was a trail of custardy claw prints leading to the window.

And then we heard Mrs Hogsbottom coming.  (She was yelling at some infants and the sound was getting louder and louder.)  We quickly wiped away the prints and covered the mess with our new tins just as she came in.  She looked at us suspiciously and went on her way.  We knew we were in big trouble.  The moment she discovered the food had been eaten, she’d blame us because she’d seen us there.

We went to find the gargoylz and gave them a telling off.  They said they were very sorry but the food had looked so nice that they couldn’t resist. They told us they would sort it all out.

And they did!  Barney sneaked into the vicar’s kitchen and made muffins and cookies.  They were strange shapes and a bit burnt because Azzan helped him by breathing fire but he made loads and put them on pretty plates.  Then Abel and Eli carried all the food from the vicar’s larder into the school hall to replace the things that the gargoylz had eaten.  The next time Mrs Hogsbum checked on the display it was bursting with food and Max and I were safe.

We felt a bit sorry for the vicar because Miss Bleet recognised the plates and told him off for burning the cookies!

I can hear Arabella screeching from her bedroom.  I think she might have found the fake dog poo I put on her carpet.


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Barney’s home and has told us all about his holiday.  It turns out that the Leaning Tower wasn’t made of pizza after all.  It was a proper tower in Pisa that leans.  He didn’t realise until he’d got to the top and took a big bite out of the stone!   It gave him such a fright that he made one of his smells and Mrs Hogsbum got the blame!  All the tourists had to hold their noses and the guide asked Mrs Hogbum to leave.  She shouted outrageous and told them they’d broken holiday rule number 754 – No one tells a head teacher to leave a leaning tower. 

There was an animal fun day at the church yesterday in aid of the donkey sanctuary down the road.  The vicar dressed up as a kangaroo and bounced around giving out sweets from his pouch – until Zack got inside and scoffed the lot.  Ben and I went as a giant cockroach and scared Doris and Aggie, the demon flower arrangers.

Theo turned into a kitten and won first prize for his costume.  The vicar thought he was a small child.  Our new friend Abel had transformed into a tree and was having a snooze when the vicar’s wife pinned a treasure hunt clue to his trunk.  He soon woke up and changed the wording so that all the treasure hunters ended up in the pond!  It was a great day and the donkeys are now going to have new ear warmers for winter.

Mum’s calling me.  She says it’s Ben on the phone and he’s got an awesome surprise for me.


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Posted by Max Black

Bart’s spiders in the sleeping bags trick was great! Bart burped his spiders and then we all hid nearby and listened. As soon as Arabella and Jessica got into bed they gave a shriek and flapped about so much that the tent collapsed on top of them!

On the way home we stopped for a picnic by a church. When we got the food out half of it had gone and everyone thought Ben and I had eaten it. We said it wasn’t us (which was true), it must have been rats (which wasn’t true but it made Jessica squeal). We knew who’d been at the picnic hamper really – the gargoylz.

 Then we lost Bart and our parents were telling us to hurry up and get in the car. We couldn’t go without him and we guessed that he must be in the old church.  So we told our mums and dads we had to have a quick look around the church.  We said it was for a school project. (That always shuts parents up.)

Time for secret plan – Find Bart.  We took all the gargoylz with us and started searching inside. Then we heard gargoyly chuckling coming from the font. And there was Bart having a bath.  But before we could get him the door at the back opened and the vicar came in! Bart just managed to climb on to the end of a nearby pew and freeze like a statue. We quickly pretended to be admiring him. The vicar was really surprised to see Bart there. He said he didn’t remember an ugly statue like that being in the church yesterday, especially a wet one. Toby whispered from the rafters that it wouldn’t be there tomorrow either and we had to make sure we didn’t giggle till the vicar had gone. Zack wanted to pop invisible and trick the vicar by ringing the church bells but then Arabella shouted that we were going so we had to rush back to the cars and make sure all the gargoylz got in the boot.

We’re looking forward to tonight. Straight after school we’re going to watch the first match of the World Cup!  South Africa v Mexico.  We expect all our readers will be watching too. And tomorrow it’s England’s first match – Goaltastic!


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